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she has my due date

(17 Posts)
babyangelbean20315 Thu 08-Jan-15 12:45:54

I can't deal with it she's big and everyone's happy for her n I have to see her all day every day at work it's killing me what can I doo ?? I wanna be happy for her but I'm just jealous why does she get to keep hers and I can't why is it my due date why do I have to deal with this ??? Why is my bf the only one who understands even my mum doesn't get why I am so sad about her I can't cope with the jealousy

BaronessBomburst Thu 08-Jan-15 12:47:40

I understand. It must be very hard for you.

AngelDreams Thu 08-Jan-15 12:49:15

oh that is so horrible for you - of course its going to affect you, its completely normal to feel fucked off and sad

sending you the biggest hugs i can xx

3littlebadgers Thu 08-Jan-15 12:51:22

It is so unfair and a constant reminder, not that you needed one. The jealousy is normal so be kind on yourself. Chances are she won't give birth on your due date if that takes the edge off the pain thanks

afreshstartplease Thu 08-Jan-15 12:54:19

I have been in a situation like this, except I was the one still pregnant. I Was fully aware of how awful the other lady must have felt and rarely spoke about my pregnancy
She barely spoke to me for my entire pregnancy and then it took her a year to acknowledge my dc
I know it was terrible for her, but I felt so awkward and guilty around her

PossumPoo Thu 08-Jan-15 12:58:06

I understand. My bf and cousin both had my previous 2 approx due dates. This last one is a bit too much and l am quietly stepping back.

I feel bad as my bf does need me at the moment but l just need a little me time.

Having to see her every day would have been too much for me too flowers

CommanderShepard Thu 08-Jan-15 16:29:57

It's not fair. It's really not. Be kind to yourself; you aren't horrible, you've had an awful thing happen to you and it's entirely normal to be jealous and angry.

My mum doesn't understand either. Very, very few people do. But we do, and we're hear for you to vent at.

babyangelbean20315 Fri 09-Jan-15 08:26:58

Thank u everyone
and thanks commander that last part of your comment really comforted me
I have felt like no one gets it for a while, even my bloke ain't as sad as me but this was my first n he already has kids so I dno if that makes it any different

I hate coming to work the only thing good is she is going in 3 weeks so I won't have to see her in March at all when mine was due

I jus hope your right and it's born on a different day so that I can be selfish and keep my day for me and she have her own day

Even my floor manager is pregnant now, she is having difficulties though so I hope she doesn't join us in this awful connection we all share - it does make it awkward though because before she was who I spoke to when I was down but now I feel like I can't because I don't want to remind her of bad things when she already is paranoid she might have still born as it has been a rough pregnancy with a lot of complications

Also I feel bad because I sometimes have this feeling of ' if her baby's not ok how come I lost mine and not her ' which is horrible n I hate that it even comes into my head

I jus don't understand how it is fair or how it works.

I'm not religious but I like to believe my bean is in a better place then this corrupt world but if there is someone there (God, Allah, anyone) why would they do this to people who would do anything for a child but the cunts on Jeremy Kyle are fine and get millions of kids

Thanks for being here everyone it is a warming feeling to know I'm not the only one who's felt this

I am sorry for everyone's loses

I jus wanna get on with it and have a healthy baby by the end of the year - I hope it's something that is possible for me and I hope anyone else ttc has some luck this time around xxxx

purpleflower23 Fri 16-Jan-15 22:10:12

There's a lady at my work who is pregnant. It's a small workplace & there aren't many women. I can't bear to look at her & her ever growing bump. The only way I can cope is by ignoring her and only talk to her when I have to about work stuff. She must think I'm really rude but it's the only way I can cope xx

happygojo Wed 21-Jan-15 13:08:14

My step-sister has my due date. I was sad when I found out, but she has had 2 MMCs herself and is older and high risk compared to myself (late thirties, overweight, thyroid issues, lots of gynae issues etc etc) so I know it hasn't been an easy run for her, and nor will it continue to be (she is 25 weeks)

Anyway after a while I kind of became glad that we didn't share a due date, obviously I am not glad I MC'd as it was awful, but she would have made me feel like I was competing for attention from my family and they would have felt split between us. I know this may not be the case for you but I find comfort in the fact that it just wasnt MY time, but that MY time will come xxxxxxxxx

SuperGlue Tue 27-Jan-15 17:32:35

I totally get how you feel. I had a MMC in late November at 11.5wks. Baby had stopped growing around 7wks. We had waited 7+ years for this bfp.

I work in a tiny place and have been there a couple of years with no pregnancies. Now there are 3 and one colleague has due date the day after mine. And now my dsis is pg and due 4 weeks after my would have been due date and my mother cannot fathom why I might find it difficult. It's hellish and makes me feel like such a terrible person but I can't help it, I just feel cross and sad and pissed off all at once. You are not alone

inconceivableme Wed 28-Jan-15 00:08:37

I understand too. I'm sorry for this crappy situation.

ipswichwitch Wed 28-Jan-15 00:23:26

My second pregnancy had the same due date as William and Kate's first. When I had the MMC I felt physically sick every time there was (yet another) news story about how wonderfully she was coping being pregnant, how amazing she looked, etc. I still felt awful when she gave birth to George even though I was pregnant again at the time.

It is shit. It is so unfair (and yes I remember ranting away about the cunts on Jeremy Kyle too). You are not a bad person for feeling this way - none of us are. It's the sort of awful thing you wouldn't wish on anyone, but at the same time question why you, why not somebody else?

I wish I could say something to make it better, but I can't. Just know that you are not alone and have every right to feel how you do. You are grieving.

Here's hoping you (and everyone else in the same boat) have better news by the end of the year flowers

babyangelbean20315 Fri 30-Jan-15 09:01:17

Thanks for everyone's support I'm still finding this so hard

Greyhound Fri 30-Jan-15 16:24:29

It's so horrible, isn't it? After my first miscarriage, I went on a course with a woman due the same day as me. She talked all the fucking time about her pregnancy and had a little bump sad It was just awful.

I really hope your next pregnancy is successful - it is so hard to lose a baby.

Lovemylittlebear Fri 30-Jan-15 18:17:01

someone I used to work with has my first due date and a good friend of mine has the second - so I understand your pain....its a bitch! fingers crossed for you all xxx

TipTapWentTheCrab Wed 04-Feb-15 15:59:09

I have this too and it is so hard!!

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