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Miscarriage and coping at work

(4 Posts)
AndCounting Sun 04-Jan-15 14:12:41

Hi all

I am 33, have one 4 yr old DS and work 4 days a week in a public sector organisation. I had miscarriage no 5 over Christmas.

For the first 3 miscarriages, I took about a week of work each time and then carried on. (In fact the third one I flew to HongKong the following week for work). I totally felt 'well, they're not all destined to survive' and felt positive that it wouldn't be long before a sucessful pregnancy.

Miscarriage number 4 was different, it properly tipped me over the edge, it coincided with a temporary promotion and major building work on our house. Terrible timing all round, I ended up being off work with anxiety for 8 weeks. When I went back to work i moved out of the temporary promotion as soon as was decently possible, into a role at my lower grade, taking 3 weeks between the two to further recuperate. That was all last summer.

I spent the autumn trying to build up my strength, and was on the mend in terms of wellbeing. Felt like I was coping at home and work and things were going OK. (Albeit work was a bit full on and juggling work and family life is always tough)

Then over Christmas I had miscarriage number 5 and just like last time it has swept away my professional confidence. I simply cannot imagine myself functioning at work. I see the whole thing as beyond my resources. Very daunting. I want to reduce my hours or drop a grade or something similar. My sister is suggesting a phased return but I just don't see myself managing even that.

Has anyone else experienced this?

bakingtins Sun 04-Jan-15 15:16:44

V sorry for your losses andcounting and having had 4 myself I can relate to how it starts to overtake every aspect of your life and destroy your confidence. You'd be v welcome on the recurrent MC thread, pretty much everyone there has struggled in some respects to cope with 'normal' life whilst in the midst of loss

AndCounting Sun 04-Jan-15 16:45:46

Thanks, baking. I'll come on over.

Mrsm14 Fri 09-Jan-15 08:08:54

I totally had this, last summer too. It was my first miscarriage but it came after a particularly difficult couple of years (redundancy, struggle to find new job, fathers illness, big move across UK - the list went on!) I'd had panic attacks on and off over the last couple of years but the miscarriage tipped me over the edge. I had two or three weeks off, then did a phased return. I honestly thought I couldn't go back but I just took all pressure off and told myself I had nothing to lose. Have been really honest with my manager and really tried to take each day at a time. It has worked for me so far, but I have also had some counseling and have taken a low dose of sertraline to get me through the worst of it. I would say take all the help you need and be straight up with people about what you need too. So sorry for all of your losses and very best of luck. Message me if I can be of any more support x

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