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MMC at just under 12 weeks

(41 Posts)
teeniedeenie34 Wed 17-Dec-14 09:28:24

On Sunday I was 11+5 with my first pregnancy. I went to the toilet and found brown blood discharge in my underwear. Having kept very well, and had no bleeding so far, this came as a little bit of a shock so I called the Early Pregnancy Unit at the hospital for advice. I was told to wear a pad and monitor the bleeding but was assured that this can be quite common around the 12 week mark as the hormone levels drop and the placenta takes over. Later in the evening I started bleeding red blood and I totally panicked so rushed to A&E. I ended up being put to the gynaecology ward to wait and seen a doctor five hours later. She gave me an internal examination and said that there was blood but my cervix was still tightly closed which meant that at that moment I wasn't miscarrying. She also echoed the advice about the placenta taking over. I got sent home and the doctor advised I should get a scan on Monday for peace of mind. I ended up having an internal scan as my bladder wasn't full enough for an abdominal one and after a few moments we knew something was wrong. The gestational sac was fully formed and the correct size but the fetus was tiny wee and has stopped growing very early on. A MMC. The sac was an irregular shape and was starting to collapse, which suggests the bleeding I had on the Sunday night was my body starting to realise something was wrong and the very early beginnings of a miscarriage. The midwife gave us lots of information about my different options and I felt completely numb as to what to do next. I started bleeding heavily on Monday night however and naturally passed the sac and lots of clots. The bleeding has really slowed now so imagine everything that needed to come out, has. Sunday night gave us a warning that something might be wrong but I'm so glad we had the scan and found out about the fetus before the heavy bleeding started this evening. Yesterday was supposed to be my booking scan and I was supposed to be going into work today with happy news before coming off for Christmas, however I've just had to call my boss and let them know what has happened and that I have been signed off until Christmas, meaning I won't return until the new year. My and my OH's hopes, plans and dreams for the near future have been shattered by this and we are heartbroken.

TeenageMutantNinjaTurtle Wed 17-Dec-14 09:37:50

I'm so sorry for your lossthanks thanks

I hope you're getting lots of comfort and support from your OH. I hope he's doing OK too.

its completely normal to be heartbroken. be kind to yourselves over the next few weeks thanks thanks

WiggleGinger Wed 17-Dec-14 09:41:43

I'm so very very sorry for your loss ������

teeniedeenie34 Wed 17-Dec-14 12:18:37

Thanks teenage and wiggle. Yes, we are taking a few days to ourselves so we can talk/cry/support each other. It's really difficult as there are no words, we both just feel very very numb.

MooleyWooleyShamaLamaDingDong Wed 17-Dec-14 12:53:23

teenie I am so sorry for your loss. I had a MMC at 10+5 when I started bleeding. I can completely sympathise with what you are feeling and going through. I am still coming to terms with it almost 2 weeks later.

Please look after yourself and take this time to relax. I am glad your OH is looking after you. flowers

teeniedeenie34 Wed 17-Dec-14 13:24:50

Thanks mooley and I'm so sorry to hear about your mmc. It's just so hard. I've followed my baby's growth and progress since my BFP. Trying to get my head around that it's all over is not easy.

RainyLion Wed 17-Dec-14 15:55:17

I'm so sorry for your loss. I went through almost the exact same thing (Except they scanned me at a&e so I didn't have to wait & had to have a d&c). My MMC was in June and my baby would have been due in early Jan so it's becoming raw again as the date draws closer.
Take time to take on board what has happened and spend time together. Maybe get a token to remember your baby by.
It took us 4 cycles to get pregnant again but I'm now 9.5 weeks and we're paying for a private scan tomorrow - I'm so nervous!
Take care of yourself

RainyLion Wed 17-Dec-14 16:02:39

oh mooley I'm so sorry for your loss. I remember you from the ttc thread. Take care thanks

teeniedeenie34 Wed 17-Dec-14 16:11:13

Thanks Rainy and I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Did you start trying straight away? Or how long did you wait? I have my fingers and toes crossed for your scan tomorrow, please let me know how you get on!

Wolfiefan Wed 17-Dec-14 16:16:56

I had a mmc with my first. It was only picked up when I went for my first scan at 13 weeks. Had an ERPC.
You need time to grieve for the loss not just of your pg but the loss of that child and that potential life. Be kind to yourself.
Apologies if it is too soon but I now have 2 healthy kids. Xx
Take care.

softlysoftly Wed 17-Dec-14 16:22:54

I'm so sorry it is heartbreaking. I had the same with my first pg. Fine until 12 weeks had a bit of brown blood the night before our booked scan and I just knew. That was one of the worst nights we've ever had and confirmed at the scan there was a 12 week sack but no baby. I waited for things to happen naturally and it took a week ending in haemorrhage. We took a couple of months to feel "normal" and you need to grieve for the loss of your expectations but you will start to feel able to function.

I just wanted to post because 6 years later and I am sitting here posting surrounded by DD, 2 and baby makes 3!

It's horrible and heartbreaking but take a little faith in knowing it means nothing about your future ability to carry a baby x

RainyLion Wed 17-Dec-14 17:15:21

Thanks teenie. Yes we started trying straight away. It was scary because we got pregnant straight away with my other two pregnancies (I have a dd, 20 months) so it was hard to go through 4 cycles (I appreciate this isn't actually very long in ttc terms) but my body obviously needed time to heal and this pregnancy feels totally separate to my previous, which is probably a good thing.
I have terrible morning sickness this time (and none with my mmc) so I'm hoping that's a good sign. Will let you know how I get on!

teeniedeenie34 Thu 18-Dec-14 12:27:16

Thanks for your kind words wolfie and softly. Im so sorry to hear about both of your losses but it does help to hear that you both have went on to have happy healthy children.

Emotionally, I'm definitely up and down. One minute I feel ok then something will come on TV or I'll see something on social media that makes me feel so sad. I imagine the hormone shift isn't helping with this. Still cramping, bleeding and passing large lumps and clots at the moment which is all very upsetting.

softlysoftly Thu 18-Dec-14 19:05:37

Give yourself time you have to go through the physical as well as mental mill. X

teeniedeenie34 Thu 18-Dec-14 22:02:09

Thanks softly. x

Wolfiefan Thu 18-Dec-14 22:07:10

I remember that up and down so vividly. I had no idea I could feel so mentally and physically awful. Take care. xx

teeniedeenie34 Thu 18-Dec-14 22:28:30

Thanks wolfie, yeah am finding it tough... The slightest thing can tip me over the edge emotionally at the moment. I consider myself to be quite a strong person but feeling very vulnerable at the moment. X

VirtualSantaHat Fri 19-Dec-14 08:09:14

hi teeie

do you mind if I share your thread?

i should have been 11 weeks today, but bled heavily on Tuesday and had mc confirmed on wed in hospital

As no sac was there when they scanned I dont know why, or when it stopped growing or anything, nor did I see it pass.

I keep thinking of everything I did in the days leading up to it and wondering if I caused it, flu jab, tooth extraction, massive work stress, no sleep

my lovely dh keeps crying, which is of course fine, but I feel so guilty I couldnt carry his baby for him

Dr said to wait 3 months to try again, but no one else on here seems to have been given that advice and I dont know why

sorry for thread crashing but this is the first timeI have been onmy own since it happened

teeniedeenie34 Fri 19-Dec-14 11:55:46

Hi Santa

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.

I also keep going over the things I did in the run up to the day I started bleeding... Also took the flu jab, was busy busy at work, manic Christmas shopping etc. The nurse assured me none of this would have made any difference.

Are you still bleeding Santa? Also what instructions were you given for the next few weeks if any? I have had some really sore cramping, heavy bleeding and passing lumps everyday. Not sure how long this will last for though. I was asked to take a pregnancy test on Monday then to call EPU back with the results.

I have a supportive partner and parents to lean on but feel so so alone in all of this. My body is going through it, and as much as everyone else is hurting, I am in pain physically and emotionally. The few conversations I've had with my parents over the past few days, they just seem to say the wrong things and I get hurt and angry. It's very difficult.

VirtualSantaHat Fri 19-Dec-14 15:36:34

Not really hospital were pretty shit

They just said to go back if I bleed as heavily as I was, and if I don't get a negative test in 2 weeks go back in case I need a D&C

No one knows what to say do they. The fact is its shit and it's not fair and there is nothing that can be said or done to make it better

teeniedeenie34 Sat 20-Dec-14 16:01:01

Hi Santa

Yeah it doesn't seem to matter what people say, it's never the right thing and leaves you feeling so alone with your thoughts and feelings. I'm sure the shift in hormones doesn't help either.

How are you getting on today? Yesterday was the worst day for me with regards to bleeding and passing clots. It was literally pouring out of me for about 6 hours. I was changing my pad (maximum absorbency night time ones) about 4 times an hour. It was scary, if it keeps up like this then I'll need to phone EPU on Monday. My fear is my body is trying to pass something that's not shifting and in the meantime I'm passing ALOT of blood. It's started again today at 1.30pm and its leaving me scared to leave the house.

VirtualSantaHat Sat 20-Dec-14 16:36:05

Hi teenue, I think you need to go back to a&e that is a lot of bleeding, you may need a drip xx

teeniedeenie34 Sat 20-Dec-14 17:03:22

It's slowed down now, will keep my eye on it and if still bad will go to hospital tomorrow. Seems to be the same time everyday, I start to get bad cramp and pains then the heavy bleeding starts. But when you read the info leaflet they provided it says this is all normal. x

VirtualSantaHat Sun 21-Dec-14 09:48:18

I didn't get a leaflet

Not sure I trust the hospital anymore. They thought in the scan I had lost everything, but I passed the sac last night after I thought I had stopped bleeding, which came as a shock.

At least it meant we got to say goodbye though

I hope you are feeling a bit better today and starting to heal

Monten Sun 21-Dec-14 10:01:31

santa and teenie so very sorry to hear what you are going through. I have been there, twice, and it's very very hard. I had surgical procedures both times so can't give much physical advice I'm afraid. Mentally, I would say be gentle with yourself and don't do anything you do to want to do. Be kind to dp/dh but don't worry if you feel a bit distant sometimes or argue. You're going through a very difficult time together but you will come out the other side all the stronger for it. My other piece of advice is - delete Facebook. Baby bombs, scan pictures, none of it is good. I haven't been on it in months and don't miss it in the slightest.

It's still very early days but when you're ready come and join the ttc after a mc thread on the conception boards. We're a lovely bunch who understand exactly what you're going through.

P.s unless you have had an ectopic there is no reason to wait, as far as I know.

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