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Two consecutive miscarriages... any stories of hope?

(23 Posts)
patienceisvirtuous Tue 09-Dec-14 19:47:25

Just miscarried for the second time in a row. I was 7+1. First mc was in May at 5+2.

Took me so long to get to a position where I could ttc (i.e. find mr right). I've longed for a family for years - I'm 37 on Sunday. No DC yet.

After this second mc I just feel gutted, desolate and panicky re the future :'(

Does anyone have any stories of hope to give me a lift? At the moment I can't imagine having the strength to go through this again.

leelteloo Tue 09-Dec-14 19:55:53

Yes, So sorry you are going through this but I had two mc consecutively and then went on to have two dc. I comforted myself with the thought that those pregnancies where not healthy and this was confirmed when they tested the second one. It had a terrible genetic condition and could not have made it to term. There was nothing I could have done differently that would have made that baby stick in there; nature took it course. When I understood it was out of my hands and it was like rolling a dice, I relaxed and the boys came along. Good luck going forward. thanks

patienceisvirtuous Tue 09-Dec-14 20:43:58

Thanks leelteloo your story is comforting.

LardyMa Tue 09-Dec-14 20:51:08

I had 2mcs, a baby, then 3 mcs and then 2 more babies. I did get tests after 4 mcs and I had factor v leiden so took heparin. I got a book by Leslsy Regan which I found comforting. Statistically even afyrr a good number of mcs in a row you still have pretty good odds for next time. I am so sorry you are going through this. Good luck. Xxx

LaceyLee Tue 09-Dec-14 20:56:25

I had 2 mcs in 2013 and am now 39 weeks with a healthy baby, awaiting its arrival anyway now! It can and does happen! Maybe give yourself a little bit of time off, even just a month, look after your health and try again. Good luck!

TobyLerone Tue 09-Dec-14 20:59:30

I had 2 consecutive miscarriages and then went on to have 3 DC.

My gp suggested low dose aspirin after the 2nd MC and I don't know if it did anything but something worked smile

I'm sorry for your losses, but don't lose heart. Good luck flowers

IsItMeOr Tue 09-Dec-14 21:01:23

I had 1 mc and then a baby. Another mum in my antenatal group had 2 mcs and now has two DC.

Try to relax and look after yourself. Good luck flowers.

2kidsintow Tue 09-Dec-14 21:02:17

I had 3 consecutive mcs and the tests. They found no reasons and we were told it was 'just one of those things'.
I then went on to have 2 healthy girls who are now 10 and 13. smile

patienceisvirtuous Tue 09-Dec-14 22:14:45

Thanks for the comforting stories ladies.

It's all very raw for me at the moment. I'm trying not to think too far ahead. Such a setback though sad

Re the aspirin Toby, did you take that while ttc or on getting BFP.

bakingtins Wed 10-Dec-14 10:05:31

Hi patience so sorry to hear what you've been through. A second MC is v hard to deal with - difficult to swallow the 'bad luck' line a second time, yet nobody takes you seriously as someone with a problem. The official guideline is you only get testing after 3 in a row, but I do know of people who have been offered limited testing after 2Mc, particularly if there are fertility issues as well or if time/age might be an issue. Bear in mind that the standard tests only give an answer 50% of the time and that's in the population who've had 3 losses, so presumably would be lower after 2 losses (as more of these will truly be down to 2 consecutive chromosomal losses) You can choose to go private for testing at any stage but you need to be realistic about your chances of getting 'the answer'.

Please be aware that the most respected RMC consultants are now specifically advising against taking aspirin, unless it's for a specific clotting problem. It can interfere with implantation and may actually increase your risk of miscarriage.

I don't know if my story will give you hope, since I had normal results on the NHS testing and went on to have a 4th MC, but I then travelled up to the implantation clinic in Coventry, was diagnosed with High NK cells and had a successful pregnancy first time on treatment (steroids, heparin and progesterone) and my DD is 6 months old. I just had my 40 th birthday smile

If you have questions about testing you are v welcome on the recurrent miscarriage thread - very chatty, currently on thread 14 but newbies always made welcome.

patienceisvirtuous Wed 10-Dec-14 14:21:21

Ladies. I went to epu today for scan and could not believe to hear that baby is in there, and saw hb. I was shaking with shock. I was so utterly convinced I had miscarried due to the amount of blood (and clots) and cramps. Apparently I have a haematoma (blood clot) which is causing the bleeding and may continue to, throughout pg. I have been put back to 6+2 so I will return to being cautiously optimistic.

Thank you so much for sharing your stories. They offered me some hope last night when I felt really desolate. It still hasn't sunk in that things, for now, are okay!

TobyLerone Wed 10-Dec-14 16:27:45

Wow! What a fantastic surprise for you. I have everything crossed for a safe and healthy pregnancy for you flowers

patienceisvirtuous Wed 10-Dec-14 16:34:35

Thanks lots Toby smile I am emotionally exhausted now!

IBelieveInPink Wed 10-Dec-14 16:55:49

Brilliant news. I was just coming in here to add my story, but I see I don't need to. Everything crossed that the rest of your pregnancy runs smoothly smile

bakingtins Wed 10-Dec-14 19:00:27

That's great. Hope the rest of the pregnancy is uneventful.

2kidsintow Wed 10-Dec-14 22:11:00

Wow, patience... that's fab! I shall keep my fingers crossed all goes well.

When I got pregnant for the 4th time I thought it was another mc as I had bleeding. I had an early scan and the sonographer pointed out (now 13 yo) DD's hb. And then pointed out the empty sac of the 'twin' that I had miscarried.

patienceisvirtuous Sun 21-Dec-14 10:17:14

Update. After the relief of seeing the hb at week 7 and hearing all okay, I had a scan at week 9 (this Friday) and foetus has stopped growing and no heartbeat now.

We are really gutted sad

So I am back in the same place I was in the original OP. Success stories have comforted. Feel free to tell your own.

The worst part of all this for me, is this primal fear that I won't get there. Beyond frightening sad

Me2Me2 Mon 22-Dec-14 01:00:07

Oh no I'm so sorry

AKmommy Tue 23-Dec-14 13:54:14

Hi girls, I'm so sorry to hear anyone say miscarriage... I know what it's like... I only had 2 but it's scary ... Painful... I had my first pregnancy become miscarriage..., I cried and cried I was about 8 weeks ... Than I had 3 successful pregnancies - 3 girls (all one year and couple month away) I was so happy thought it all behind me and than I got pregnant again... We were hoping for a boy and told everyone right away when I was like 6 weeks .. Time passed and my stomach started cramping, everyone kept telling me it's uterus stretching, but at 13.5 weeks I woke up from labour like pain and at the bathroom door a sac fell out... Literally ... My husband had day off And ran to bathroom ... It was a scary scene - I never seen so much blood... I didn't even care about the pain... I spend about 3 hours in bathroom, from 9AM till almost 12. I was sitting in bath as blood just kept coming out on and off, every time I got up pieces kept failing, I really thought I was gonna die. I was praying for my kids and husband for God to take care of them ... I'm not trying to scare you I'm just letting you know your not alone, we all feel your pain. Nothing worse can happen except it did. A week after I miscarried my sis-in-law told everyone she just got pregnant ... She knew what happened too and than my other sister in law that was gonna have a baby in oct ( two month after my miscarriage) had a still born... On her due date. She went to hospital because baby didn't move and they send her home saying baby fine, there is heart beat and come back tomorrow, next morning baby was dead!!! I was scared every period and every time I saw little bit of blood, my hands were shaking and I was hysterical but you know time and God heals, really does and now only 6 month later I'm 6.5 weeks so far but I'm very positive and relying on God and hoping for best. Please keep your prayers for me and I will for you all. I'm scared and excited... I don't know if I can go through another miscarriage ... I hope for a healthy baby. And all of you out there who had many more miscarriages than me please keep trying, hope for beat and be positive. Stress does not help sad God has his plans and struggles for us but be brave, He is there with you. I know He was when I needed Him, even at times when I was Hopeless !!!

squizita Sun 28-Dec-14 21:42:22

flowers Sorry to hear about your losses.
I am a recurrent miscarrier with a sticky blood condition. I've also had a partial molar pregnancy (when the placenta becomes like a dodgy mole and grows - with a risk of cancer). So I've had a pretty bad run of luck.

BUT: I've had a perfectly healthy baby!

It's so hard to believe when well wishers say it will be OK so here are some boring facts...

After 2 or 3 losses over 70% of women go on to just have a baby, no one knows why they sadly lost the others.
In a small number of cases (something like 1% of women) there are 3 losses or more. Again, 60-70% succeed without needing medication.
0.3% like me who have a condition... well thankfully most/many of those can now be treated on the NHS or by university research hospitals. Daily pessaries or injections are no fun but they bump the success rate to 60%+ per pregnancy. My consultant told me, when I saw him, that even if it didn't work first time, it would work if I had the strength to try once or twice. Thankfully it worked 1st time for me. smile

Now, after 2 losses, you're over 70% likely to be OK next time but even if you were one of the unlucky 0.3%, they can treat it nowadays so hang on in there have hope.

They kind of translate into 'hang on in there, it can happen... in fact the odds are pretty OK even after heartbreak'. flowers

squizita Sun 28-Dec-14 21:44:07

... as Baking says though, don't self medicate. Thinning your blood when pregnant is dangerous unless managed by a specialist doctor.

lotsofcheese Sun 28-Dec-14 21:50:45

I had 2 miscarriages; 1st was a molar pregnancy age 39, then a missed miscarriage at 11.5 weeks age 40. I became pregnant less than 2 months later & had DD shortly after my 41st birthday.

CarrotCakeMuffins Sun 28-Dec-14 22:02:02

Hi, I'm really sorry to read about your loss, after having good news 2 weeks earlier.
Let yourself recover and try again when you are ready. There is still plenty of time for you. Like others have said, testing is generally available after 3 mcs, but sometimes after 2. Maybe have a chat with your GP or when you are in the epu to see what they say.

I am currently feeding my 6 month old DS, but prior to him had 3 early mcs, and I know it is heartbreaking to be in your position. However lots of people do go on to have successful pregnancies so don't give up hope. I had testing after 2 mcs due to my age (over 40), and no specific reason was found, I was just 'unlucky'. I did take various drugs (prescribed) in case they might help. And this time the baby stuck around.

It did make it impossible to enjoy being pregnant though, as I felt I was just waiting for it to go wrong in the beginning. The relief when an early scan showed a heartbeat was incredible.

I really hope that 2015 will be your year and you succeed in getting your baby. Lots of flowers

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