Two second tri mc, anyone else? Advice?

[CathLill]

Hello
I want to share my experience to see if anyone can offer any advice or has had similar problems.
I am just 37 (as in September, not only!!) and lucky enough to have 2 lovely ds (9&7), both straightforward pregnancies and births.
On 29th November 2010 I had a spontaneous miscarriage, I was 19 weeks exactly. The foetus (boy) had died at around 16 weeks, post mortem and investigations yielded no explanation. We just put it down to being 'one of those things'.
Life took over and though we never said never, I was on the pill and we never really got around to trying again. Then, four years later after a pill cock up, we were surprised but delighted to be expecting again. I was a bit anxious (my bmi at check in was 31) and the experience of 'number 3' wasn't far from my mind.
I put my worries down to paranoia.
On Thursday our 20 week scan showed that our baby had died and I completed a medically managed miscarriage yesterday (29th November). This time around I was taking asprin daily and had had an extra scan at 16 weeks which showed that all was well. Looks like this was another boy (not 100% sure).
Does anyone have any pearls of wisdom for me or similar experiences?
Is this just a big coincidence? How weird to happen on the same day
We will wait for results of tests etc but this doesn't look good for any future attempts does it?
Sorry to babble and thanks for reading x

[CathLill]

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[sizethree]

Hi cath, I'm so sorry for your losses. A miscarriage at any stage is heartbreaking, but during the second trimester must be so hard to come to terms with after carrying the baby for longer.
I've suffered three miscarriages but only in the first trimester. So I don't have experience of your kind of loss. But i hope you're getting the support you need and that these set of tests provide some answers. It's always tough being told it's just bad luck as you can't fix just bad luck for a better result for next time. I do wish you a happier future.

[CathLill]

Thanks so much for your kind words, sizethree am sorry for you too. I'm not sure the number of weeks past matters really, still hurts.
Am starting to think I'm a bit of a freak for it to happen twice though...lightning strikes people twice (or more) doesn't it!
Thanks for reply, very best wishes to you, will you keep trying? X

[sizethree]

I'm going to keep trying. There's nothing I want more in life than to hold my own baby and make my husband become daddy. So I'll face every battle it takes to get there.
It is awfully difficult that it's happened twice to you, and I'm sure you'll need some time to recover. And no doubt any future pregnancies will be nerve wracking. But make sure yiure armed with as much information as possible and I hope that if yiu decide to try again in the future that you have a very uneventful and breezy pregnancy and a healthy happy baby.

[CathLill]

Aw thanks, all this shit is so worth it, we're so lucky to have 2 gorgeous boys already.
You'll get there, at least you know you can conceive. Let's hope the next one's good and sticky!
There'll always be someone worse off and all that ;)
Good luck, really appreciate your replies xx

[MyNameIsEmily]

Hello :)
I am sorry to hear about your two little boys :(! It's so very sad!
I have actually had the same one at 19+1 and the other at 20+6, Both have come back with negative results, This time I have a plan put in place for swabs as the consultant think's it was an infection that caused me to miscarry.
I have had a look at some of the test's he's talking about on google and one is bacterial vaginosis (BV) which affects ladies to have miscarriages in second tri...Might be worth a mention at your follow up appointment?
You can Pm me on here if you want to talk :)!
I am taking a break from TTC and loosing some weight in the meantime! But hoping my next plan gives us our baby!

[CathLill]

Hi Emily

Thanks for replying, really sorry to hear of your stinking luck too, but relieved that I'm not the only one!!
I will mention swabs, I know they took one this time and I'm pretty sure it was one of the things they checked last time. My GP came out yesterday to check on me and he said that they mightn't have tested for the infection which may have caused. He also seemed to think that the obstetrician (sp?) might want to test for vascular/ clotting problems more thoroughly this time.

I'm getting ahead of myself a bit here but I need to decide if another baby is really what we want, this is a lot to haul yourself through. Deep down, I know it is, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to handle the anxiety which will, I think, be inevitable.

I think a 'merry' drunken Christmas, drop a couple of stone, get fitter, and then see what the hospital consultant says in the new year is our best course of action.

What will be, will be.

Best of luck to you xx