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MC didn't know I was pregnant?

(2 Posts)
allmmurr Sun 23-Nov-14 17:26:01

I recently miscarried, having not known I was pregnant. I was 6wks, and my boyfriend woke me up when I was bleeding, completely unaware.
I don't know how I should be feeling if I'm honest. I spent yesterday in bed crying and I feel empty and heartbroken at the same time.
I really have no clue what is happening, when does the bleeding stop? It's been two days since I went to the hospital, and I am bleeding as if it were a period.
I just don't really don't know what to do. Should I be back to how I was before, having not known? Should I still be in bed? How do I comfort my boyfriend? (He's almost as heartbroken as I am). Just some general advice would be nice, I'm quite young (20) so I'm really at a loss as to everything.

sizethree Sun 23-Nov-14 17:52:29

I'm so sorry for your loss. It must be a terrible shock to find out about the pregnancy when it's ending, and emotionally its a huge amount to deal with, as well as the physical side of things too.
There's no right it wrong way to feel, just be gentle to yourself.
The miscarriage association have a lot of very helpful information online and also a helpline if you want to speak to someone.
Did you hospital give you any advice on what to expect physically? At 6 weeks the pregnancy is small and though the experience of a miscarriage varies from woman to woman, my experience of one at that stage was a couple of intense days of heavyish bleeding (with some larger clots - which would be been the thickened womb lining and the little sac) followed by a week of lighter bleeding, like a period. You should be invited back for a follow up scan in a week. (One thing to note is that you shouldn't use tampons - as your cervix is open, they can cause infection. So stick to pads. Sorry if you already knew this - bit if came as a surprise to me so thought best to say)
If depends on where you live but check if you have an Early Pregnancy Unit near by. As they are usually more helpful/specialised than A&E.
I'm so so sorry, miscarriage really is the most heartbreaking experience for a couple.
Your comment about comforting your boyfriend really brought i lump to my throat. How lovely of you to be so caring. I too find if hard to know what to do to comfort my husband. It must be so awful for them to see us go through this and feel helpless.
I try to talk to him as much as j can about how he's feeling, and that seems to help. I also let him fuss over me a bit so he feels like he's actively helping.
And as tragic as the situation is, we've come out of it closer and more in love than ever. When you go through something as challenging as this, really nothing can break you.
I hope that you start recovering soon and if you need any advice or have any worries or wobbles there are always wonderful women on these boards that'll reach out and hand hold when needed.

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