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Scan no baby!

(15 Posts)
Boofsandboss Tue 18-Nov-14 16:00:04

Just found out I have had a mmc I feel numb! Any advise?

BaldricksTurnip Tue 18-Nov-14 16:11:10

No advice but just wanted to say I'm so sorry and give you a hand to hold xx

enviousllama Tue 18-Nov-14 16:33:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GuybrushThreepwoodMP Tue 18-Nov-14 18:38:02

So sorry to see you both here. I am in the same situation- have been waiting for inevitable mc to start since last week's scan showed baby measuring 3 weeks behind (I'm sure if my dates). Still no sign of it starting. Scan to confirm loss on Thurs and then I'm hoping for erpc asap.
It's utterly shit isn't it? The waiting is awful. I'm so sorry you're both going through it too. I'm oscillating between feeling ok and feeling utterly lost. Ok that this is how it is meant to be and it never would have been a baby. I find it comforting that this is how we evolved and it's actually my body doing what it's supposed to.
But then something will remind me like thinking about a piece of work I will have to do next June when I would have been on maternity leave, or a Christmas advert reminding me I expected to be pregnant and I just feel totally overwhelmed.

Have you got rl support? My dh doesn't really have anything useful to say to be honest.

enviousllama Tue 18-Nov-14 18:48:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

onefootinthebed Wed 19-Nov-14 09:39:24

This is what has happened to me on Monday. I need to go back in on Thursday to discuss treatment I think I am going to give it a week to see if it passes naturally and if not I think I will go down the surgical route. I just feel empty and my do just isn't talking at all he was angry on Monday and I don't feel like I can talk to him now. I know this sounds heartless but this is my third miscarriage this year and and I just want to be over it now.

gingerbreadmam Wed 19-Nov-14 10:02:06

i can't believe how common this is. i am also in same situation, have a rescan tomorrow. been a long 2 week wait.

my thoughts are with you all! it's so sad and hard to get your head around. i had a terrible day last week but think it did me good. althougg its still horrible i am coping better now.

i notice from all the threads on here a lot of people opt for the surgical option, this has never happened to me before (first pregnany) and noone has talked to me about any options yet. is there a specific reason people opt for this?

Glenpip77 Wed 19-Nov-14 10:32:48

Sorry to hear you are all having a lousy time with this too, it totally sucks doesn't it. We we were told on Monday that it was an empty and abnormal sac and will result in another miscarriage. Because the scans were private the NHS has refused to see me until next Monday when they will do a scan and bloods. I've had a small bleed which I though was the start of things, but that's now stopped!! I too just want this over and done with do I can get back to normal. DH is being really understanding and is talking this time, when we had our first miscarriage in may he went in to his shell for a while so I think this is quite a common reaction for men.

wonkylegs Wed 19-Nov-14 10:33:06

I'm contemplating the options if we get the bad news (expected) at our second scan on Friday.
I presume people opt for the surgical route because it gets it over and done with.
There is so much waiting & limbo, I think I can't bear much more of this. Waiting for it to happen & the uncertainty would for me be compounding the torture. I also have to work out how to cope with this and look after my 6yo, I can't deal with prolonged physical issues, the mental ones are bad enough.

enviousllama Wed 19-Nov-14 11:28:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

enviousllama Wed 19-Nov-14 11:56:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Glenpip77 Wed 19-Nov-14 14:41:41

I think everyone's physical experience of miscarriage is different, but if it helps in getting your head round what to expect here is my experience from last time. I had a complete natural miscarriage at 7.5 weeks. Physically it wasn't the most pleasant thing in the world, but no where near as bad as I had been led to believe. From my experience the cramps were on a par with a very bad period or they type you get in early stage of labour, and there is a lot of heavy bleeding with large clots (about the size of. 50p) - definitely stock up on super pads. The heavy bleeding and cramps probably lasted about 6 hrs in total and then it went back to being like a light period. I'm not sure whether the experience would be similar with meds and your further along than I was which may make a difference x

gingerbreadmam Wed 19-Nov-14 15:22:30

thank you everybody and that leaflet is very helpful thanks a lot and i appreciate people sharing their difficult experiences.

It must be hard when you have other children to think about too. thinking of you all.

Boofsandboss Wed 19-Nov-14 15:43:14

I started bleeding lightly last night, this morning very bad cramps and heavy bleeding now light bleeding but still bad cramps :/

Glenpip77 Wed 19-Nov-14 16:10:50

Hope they subside soon boofs - fingers crossed that's the worst of it out of the way x

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