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Impending mc - anyone else had similar?

(51 Posts)
gingerbreadmam Fri 07-Nov-14 14:15:37

I had some spotting over the weekend, it was mostly brown then went off but on wednesday i had a small bleed.

I spoke to epau and had a scan yesterday, had to have internal as was so small. They could see a sac and baby measuring 3mm.

According to online calculators i am 9 weeks pregnant but by my dates i think i could be 6. what showed on the scan could have passed for a 6 week scan from what ive seen online.

The doctor who scanned me implied that it could go either way however the other nurse / doctor in the room intervened and said she did not want to give false hope and that i should book 2 weeks off work and expect to micarry and to cancel my booking in appointment. I am going back in 2 weeks for a follow up scan.

has anybody else experienced similar? they did say the sac was large and they would expect to see a bigger baby with a sac that size but i dont know if theyre basing it all on the fact they think i should be 9 weeks.

any advice appreciated, i am prepared for the worst but until it happens i can hope cant i?

Flower29 Fri 07-Nov-14 20:28:42

I'm sorry I haven't been in this position so don't have any advice but didn't want to leave you unanswered. I had a mmc in sep which started as pink spotting followed by blood a few days later. Of course you're going to have hope, you have to, I did right up until we heard the 'I'm sorry' at the scan. I hope you can get through the next 2 weeks without going mad and it turns out to be ok. X

bakingtins Fri 07-Nov-14 20:29:30

Firstly, to clear up the confusion inherent in dating pregnancy from LMP. The hospital dating from LMP are assuming you ovulated and conceived 2 weeks after your LMP, 7 weeks ago and are therefore 9 weeks pregnant. You think you ovulated as late as 5 weeks into your cycle, 4 weeks ago and therefore could be 6 weeks pregnant. When did you get a BFP? The earliest is usually 10-14 dpo or '4 weeks pregnant' ( though just to confuse things further that is clearblue's 1-2 weeks from ovulation)
The discrepancy between the size of sac and size of foetal pole doesn't sound positive. Often in a missed miscarriage the foetus stops growing around the 5-6 week mark but the sac keeps growing. I think it's common for losses due to genetic defects to happen at c. 6weeks
That said, if you could be just about 6 weeks it might be fine. That uncertainty is why they rescan. Bloody tough on you dealing with the limbo though. You get through it however you can, optimism and pessimism equally valid because the truth is they just don't know which way it will go. Mumsnet will be here for you whatever the outcome. flowers

sizethree Fri 07-Nov-14 20:33:49

I'm so sorry you're in this awful middle ground of not knowing.
I've been in a similar situation. I was a bit earlier on in pregnancy, only 7+2 when i started spotting. Got a scan at the EPU. Heartbeat seen but measured small (between 5-6 weeks) but sadly that night I had a heavy bleed and lost the baby.
There is ALWAYS hope though. Especially if your dates could be out.
2 weeks sounds like a long wait. 1 week is the standard I thought id they're ding measurements. Did you get blood taken to test HCG levels? That's a good indicator for a developing pregnancy.
I very much hope you have a positive outcome.
But if the worst does happen, you'll get a lot of support here. So please keep us posted.

gingerbreadmam Fri 07-Nov-14 21:14:29

thankyou ladies. going by bakingtins information im guessing its a no go which is what one of the nurses implied so guess i just have to wait for it to pass.

my last lmp was 4 or 6 september. my app said i was due to ovulate around 20 september. i did a clearblue digital on 10 october which said 2-3 weeks. i was therefore thinking from 10 october to now plus 2 weeks as indicated on the clearblue could make me only 6 weeks although that cant be right going on the info you have kindly shared there.

sounds like i really should be 9 weeks then and as the baby measured 3mm (about right for a 6 wk pregnancy) im guessing it just stopped growing at around 6 weeks
especially as the sak was said to be big.

this is an awful wait not helped by the fact i still feel so pregnant e.g. sore boobs and waves of nausea. thank you for responding though i really appreciate it thanks

Rachie1986 Fri 07-Nov-14 21:19:03

no advice but thinking of you xx

evelynj Fri 07-Nov-14 21:23:31

Ginger I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. The waiting is awful.

I've been there at my booking in app 2 weeks ago & should have been 9-11 weeks but was only measuring 7. We weren't trying so I had no idea of my dates as it had been a hectic couple of months.

Sadly in my case the baby had stopped growing- I found out for sure a week later-had to have another hospital internal scan to be sure. In my case I had no spotting etc & felt so pregnant & sick right up until I had an EPRC procedure on Monday past. I'm really hoping for good news for you but if you're struggling to get through the days it may be worth checking if they can bring your next check date forward by a few days as that's a long wait.

Look after yourself-I found preparing for the worst & hoping for the best helped me as so little was in my control. Take care x

gingerbreadmam Fri 07-Nov-14 21:30:05

so sorry to hear your sade news evelyn. hope you are managing ok and my thoughts go out to you.

sounds like a similar thing, i havent even had my booking in. was due wednesday just gone but they had to re-arrange to next week as midwife was ill and the nurse who scanned me advised me to cancel it.

thank you for coming to offer me some advice as i know u must be going through a really hard time still. i am doing the same as you, waiting for the worst whilst still maintaining a little bit of hope.

thank you rachie thanks

bakingtins Fri 07-Nov-14 21:36:54

Those Clearblue tests are the work of the devil (though their way is actually more sensible as it accounts for long cycles) but yes, the test means 2-3 weeks from conception which is 4-5 weeks pregnant in NHS-speak.
I agree with PP that said 2 weeks is a long wait, they are looking for 1mm a day growth and development of a HB once past the 6 week mark so should be able to give a clear answer about viability in 7-10 days. (NICE guidelines state a minimum of 7 days for rescan) I'd ask if it can be brought forward, lay it on thick about how hard it is on your mental health to be in limbo.

gingerbreadmam Fri 07-Nov-14 21:43:05

i guess i need to wait and see if anything happens first but if not i might try.

its hard work wise too as she advised me to be off work for 2 weeks but if it doesnt happen in this 2 weeks i will need additional time off i know i shouldnt be worrying about work but it is on my mind a little. feel silly being off when theres not actually anything going on right now but mentally i dont know how id get on at work and if it started that would just be awful.

evelynj Fri 07-Nov-14 21:59:04

My advice fwiw is if you can, try to just keep gently occupied for the next couple of days-we went for a leisurely lunch & to do some easy shopping chores which took up time, tired me out & still managed to be enjoyable while the possibilities of what was going on sank into my head without me thinking about it. Try to allocate a quiet half an hour a day to thinking things over & then say out loud 'that's enough for today' or similar & watch some easy & gripping stuff on Netflix or whatever. Go to bed at a decent time but not too early if you think you won't get to sleep or be up too early. If you can meditate or go for little walks or something to keep calm that will help. Morning sickness & sore boobs are harder to deal with. Get a bag ready for hospital just in case but do try to stay positive & give yourself a few days before you start googling for info. Maybe go on the Christmas threads & do your shopping to keep busy if you haven't finished that yet. Thinking of you x

gingerbreadmam Sat 08-Nov-14 07:46:53

Thankyou evelyn your advice is really helpful. i do have christmas shopping to do so might get out and do a little bit of that. Also food shopping tomoro too.

I am trying not to focus on it too much but finding it hard as if / when it does happen i don't know what to expect.

If it started whilst i was out of the house would i be ok? i dont know how much to expect or the type of pain in the beginning. Will i have time to get home and comfortable / safe? I'm sorry if this is bringing back horrible thoughts i do hope you are ok too. Thank you.

Keep finding myself getting so annoyed with the hospital. Having a sonographer sat grinning at us whilst delivering the news just didn't make it feel real. Even when the other one did intervene i felt like we weren't given a lot of information. I don't remember (although i was upset and it may have just escaped me) any talk of foetal poles or yolks which seems very common on here just that the baby was 3mm no heartbeat and sac was big. When i think now i kind of would of expected them to say something along the lines of the baby is only measuring 6 weeks as i see a lot of people get that too but we definitely didn't. Sorry to moan on.

evelynj Sat 08-Nov-14 23:09:14

Ginger I'm sorry the hospital weren't better, you're not moaning on at all, it's scary when you don't know what's going to happen. I know they are dealing with tons of these situations but I found i really appreciated it when they took the time to say ' I'm really sorry it's not good news' etc., though still hoping it will be for you.

I think each experience can be v different if the worst happens but the best you can do is wear a pad & plan what you'd do each day if the situation arises. I took some & spare underwear & pads in my bag just in case & had a hospital bag ready. I told my parents as I may have needed to drop the children off with them at any time.

Write a list of your concerns & call the epu on Monday & ask the questions, & see if they can check on you sooner. When you're feeling up to it have a read of the 3 options if it's a missed miscarriage-there's waiting for it to pass naturally, medical management & surgery. There is a big thread on here about mmcs, although some of it may make you more worried & perhaps unnecessarily but at least if you want to there's a lot of info from various peoples experiences.

I've found myself going through the cycle of emotions from denial, acceptance, grief & sadness to random anger at the moment since 2 weeks ago. Each stage has been exhausting. Try to talk to someone IRL & don't do anything too demanding. I'm happy to try to answer anything from my experience if it helps-I think I find it helpful to talk about it. I think the big thing in assessing the risk of mc is how different your measurements seems to your expected dates & how sure of your dates you are. By 7 weeks from LMP I believe there should be a heartbeat, or 8 weeks at most.

Thinking of you flowers

gingerbreadmam Sun 09-Nov-14 08:07:15

thank you evelyn i cant explain how much your words are helping me and im glad it is kind of hekping you too.

i read the practicalities of mc on here yesterday and tbh it scared the life out of me people have such varied experiences. The only thing the nurse told me was it would be like a heavy period and take paracetamol. What i have read on here implies it will be so much worse.

I had planned to meet a friend yesterday for a christmas hot chocolate but almost didnt go after reading that thread. i braved it in the end but am scared im going to have to face that fear every day for two weeks.

Yesterday was a bad day all in, seeing all the christmas adverts during x factor just broke my heart. I love christmas, like a big kid and all i could think was how can i have a happy christmas this year? i should be noticeably pregnant with my first child and wont be. its also my 30th the week before.

urgh its just so awful. how are you feeling? are you all set for christmas for your other children? you must be finding it hard too.

evelynj Sun 09-Nov-14 20:24:08

Oh ginger bless you. Yes I must admit that I was also really looking forward to being mid pregnancy etc at Christmas & it will be a bit sad but it's a week tomorrow since I had the op & I am starting to feel a bit more normal & less hopeless. If Christmas will be v hard how about looking into volunteering with something locally to occupy you & get a bit of feel good factor, (volunteering can do wonders to improve your mood & there's probably lots to do at Christmas in your area).

I don't think any of the scary experiences are likely to happen though I was so paranoid that I was discreetly sitting on a plastic bag when my colleague had to drive me in her car to a course!

It's so hard to think of anything at this stage that you might enjoy but whatever way it goes try to plan something for your birthday & have something to look forward to. Please ring epu in the morning & try to get some more answers-I found the not knowing the hardest bit. Will be thinking of you x

gingerbreadmam Sun 09-Nov-14 20:46:46

This is a bit of a personal question but what made you choose the operation and how are you feeling a week later?

My mam miscarried when she was 13 or 14 weeks pregnant and said not to worry about it it was more or less like a heavy period but with clots and i should expect similar. I can probably cope with that i mean i'll have to cope with anything but that doesnt sound as scary.

i've had quite a good day today, no tears and not thought about it too much. still some optimism in there somewhere too whether that is a good or bad thing.

You are so full of good advice, how are you feeling about christmas now? i hope you are managing to have a bit of distraction with your children in the run up to christmas.

LIG1979 Sun 09-Nov-14 21:02:24

ginger -horrible for what you are going through. So sorry you are in this limbo period. I think from your dates of the positive dates it doesn't sound hopeful but there is always hope.

I was in a similar position and after being scared to do anything in case the mc kicked off, I also wanted to try and take my mind off it. I made sure I had some strong painkillers (not paracetamol), some super sanitary pads and spare underwear and wore a pantiliner and moved to a pad when I got spotting. The mc never fully happened over the next 6 weeks and so I ended up having an erpc but felt better knowing I was as prepared as I could be.

evelynj Sun 09-Nov-14 21:09:22

I'm looking forward to Christmas-like you I love it & will have 2 weeks off-already had most of my shopping done & love spending v time with friends & family (though 10 days at my in laws will push me to the limit!)

I chose the op mostly as I found it really mentally painful to have the pregnancy symptoms. Before my mw app I was quite worried I was pg with twins as I felt so ill-after waiting 10 days I defo didn't want to wait for it to happen naturally-I hate being that out of control. Also I didn't want to sit on the toilet for days with the pills (medical management) & that option wouldn't have been practical for me. Also reading that a number of people who opted for the medical management & then had to have the op as well later as the pills didn't work made me want to go for the quickest & most certain option.

Hope that all makes sense. Also, I know it must be awful being your 1st pg but you will see babies & pregnancy absolutely everywhere. I once read on here something about thinking of other babies as just extra people in the world rather than 'that should be my baby' or whatever. For some reason that really helped me & other pregnant friends & newborns don't get me upset at all. If you can manage this mindset it's really helpful as there's no way on Gods holy earth to avoid it all!

Hope it is good news-in my case I knew it wasn't really. I had a previous 'normal' miscarriage which was just like a v heavy period & cramping & not too awful.

I've had some v bad cramps &'pain a couple of days after the op & mostly ok now-have used co codamol for pain. GA seems to slow everything down & bowel movements have been uncomfortable but feel like I'm coming out the other side now. Even drinking some wine now. X

gingerbreadmam Sun 09-Nov-14 21:10:23

LIG is that right that you waited 6 weeks and nothing happened?

i know i am in denial because i am secretly hoping for the best but i can't figure out how i could be 9+ weeks pregnant. I obviously dont know all about conceiving etc as it wasnt planned but i thought you conceive when you ovulate and conception is when you are first pregnant. if my ovulation was due around 20th sept, depending on whether i ovulated early or late i couldnt have been pregnant before ovulation? i really dont know?

i am prepared for it to be the worst though. Have got night time towels with me and wearing panty liners constantly. If i spot for a bit first that is really the reassurance i need. i am just scared to death of a constant heavy flow of blood and clots that come on with only a few minutes of stomache cramps as a warning.

Is it over ther counter codeine that they recommend? i think i have some somewhere, i cant bare the thought of buying any as feel like it is almost as if i am giving in.

I need to research erpc as i dont really know what it is im really not clued up on anything. Suppose for first pregnany i jus assumed everything would be fine, tbh even thought i know mc is so common and it can happen to anyone mmc is a whole new concept and so difficult.

gingerbreadmam Sun 09-Nov-14 21:26:50

To back up my early theory...if i did conceive around the 20th of september which is when i was due to ovulate my scan on the 7th november means i could have been as little as 6 weeks pregnant? A 3mm baby would also fit with that data.

my periods have been a little erratic as i was on the pill such a long time (since i was 15 almost constantly) and only came off in february / march this year.

LIG1979 Sun 09-Nov-14 21:34:03

ginger - I did get some spotting and with each scan there was less there. apparently my body was re absorbing the baby (sorry if that is tmi). However, there was never any major blood loss or pain which I guess was a good thing.

I found out at 9.5 weeks that it was only a 6 week foetus and then by the time of my last scan I would have been over 15 weeks. By then I wanted it all over and was desperate to get rid of what was left.

The body can hang onto the baby for quite a while so you may be ok to wait for a scan in a week or so and if it is bad news then decide what to do.

gingerbreadmam Sun 09-Nov-14 21:37:57

Aww evelyn im so glad things are starting to look up a little for you now and i appreciate erpc certainly sounded like the best option for you.

I am afraid of hospitals at the best of times so i am trying not to think of anything like that just now and because of that if it can happen naturally then i will let nature take its course.

saw soooo many babies today and tbh it didnt bother me (poppy parade) i appreciate what a gift a child is and dont begrudge anyone else that plus how can you not love a baby whether its yours or not. i did get a bit envious looking at people pushing prams and stuff but tbh if it doesnt happen for me now it doesnt mean it never will. i can still have that eventually. did cross my mind a couple of times why me but thats probably natural.

sounds like you have a lot to look forward to over the festive period, bar the in laws of course. lucky that you are back on the wine, that may just be your lifeline ha! very organised too, well done!

gingerbreadmam Sun 09-Nov-14 21:41:37

Thank you LIG i know these are sensitive questions and i hope you are ok. Your answers are helping greatly. thanks

i suppose as it is so.up in the air at the moment, if my body does hold onto it, at the rescan if nothing has changed i can be sure if thats makes sense and more accepting.

i just realised how thankful i am that people are kind enough to share something so personal and distressing and i just want to say again i cant thank you all enough. thanks so much and hope you are being kind to yourselves thanks

LIG1979 Sun 09-Nov-14 21:45:42

My erpc was very easy and was out of hospital 2 hours after my operation.

There is still hope as your dates aren't miles out. Another scan will confirm either way. It does make you realise what a miracle every baby is. (For what it's worth I had a 2nd mc before dd and now pg with my 2nd.Now 3.5 years later it is a sad memory and they will never be forgotten but it isn't painful as such.)

Gr33dyeggs Sun 09-Nov-14 21:50:38

Gingerbread - so sorry you're in limbo. When I miscarried 6 years ago I did so naturally at 9 weeks. Spotting for a few days then flooding with clots over the space of a few hours (just sat over toilet). I ended up at hospital in agony due to some tissue being stuck. When this was removed the bleeding settled. Needed high strength painkillers though - dihydrocodeine?

Sorry its so graphic. I really hope things turn out ok for you, but wanted you to have another perspective if not. Big hugs.

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