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Starting medical management tomorrow...

(23 Posts)
fififolle Fri 10-Oct-14 21:42:10

I've got a beautiful DS aged 4 and was very excitied about him having a sibling.
I had a small amount of fresh bleeding earlier in the week and light (old) spotting over the last few days. I would have been 10 weeks today. I dropped DS at school this morning and wanted to cry when I returned hone, but for no apparent reason. I had a small abound of red blood again at lunch time so I called the EPU. They said to go to a&e but the wildnt be able to scan me until Wednesday. I decided to arrange a private scan (also had one at 7 weeks) this afternoon which unfortunately showed a sac only 2.5 mm long and no heartbeat.
I called EPU who again advised to go to a&e. The receptionist and nurse practitioner were great when I sobbed during my attempt to book in.
I saw the SHO from gynae who gave me the options: conservative, medical or surgical. Conservative was out as nothing has really happened yet, not keen on surgical as I don't want a GA.
I'm going in for the first tablet tomorrow then my mum is coming up yo take me in for the pessary on Monday. DH will be in work- it's our own business.
I'm due to be in work on Tuesday.
Any advice on what to expect, how awful it will be etc?
I'm just feeling v sad and detached, stinking headache too.

TeaandHobnobs Sat 11-Oct-14 16:24:37

Oh fifi I'm so sorry sad

I had medical management in February this year - I had a blighted ovum, so no 'baby' as such, but the pregnancy sac was about 8-9 weeks in size.
Will they be keeping you in at the hospital until it is complete, or sending you home once you have had the pessary? In my case, I was given the pessary then discharged an hour or two later to miscarry at home. Personally I wasn't in any significant pain (I took a dose of the co-codamol they discharged me with more as a "just in case" as it was late evening by this point, and I thought I'd like to try and get some sleep if I could). Make sure you do have adequate pain relief in case you need it.
There is a thread on this board about the practicalities of mc - might be worth a read so you are prepared. My bedroom is right next to the bathroom, and I had protected the bed with a shower curtain and some towels (turned out not to be necessary). I also had a stash of maternity pads left over which I used.

I would really really advise against work on Tuesday. There is no telling how long the process could take - personally I passed the worst that first night, and the bleeding reached a manageable level about 2 days later (as in, I felt I could leave the house). I also felt incredibly faint the first two days after - I could barely stand up the day after. I started taking spatone (iron supplement) to help me try to get back to normal after so much blood loss.

And that is just the practical side of it - there is no telling how you will be feeling emotionally thanks

Please please give yourself time, and don't try to rush back to work. I hope your mum is able to stick around and give you support.

So sorry you are going through this sad thanks

fififolle Sat 11-Oct-14 18:29:36

Thank you for your reply Tea.
I will be kept in until it is complete. You've given me some really good advice.
I spoke to a friend earlier who's been through this too and she said definitely no work on Tuesday and to be prepared to feel totally drained.
That's a go tip about the spatone, I'll start iron supplements today.
My mum has said that she'll stay for as long as I need her to.

Only1scoop Sun 12-Oct-14 10:30:17

So so sorry Op similar position here....dd is 4 and were hoping for a sibling. Same gestation period as you and also found out at private scan....so I relate to your post.

I had a surgical yesterday I was also scared of the Ga but decided the best option for me at the time.

I previously had medical management pessaries etc and I would also advise absolutely no work the next few days at the very very least. Not only from an emotional point of view but the bleeding can go on for quite a while.

I am so sorry you are going through this and you will be in my thoughts thanks

fififolle Sun 12-Oct-14 15:32:32

Thank you for your reply Only1scoop. How are you feeling? I hope you're not too sore from yesterday and are having plenty of support with the emotional side of it.
It is reassuring having people who have had similar experiences to talk things through with.
I'm just looking forward to getting tomorrow out of the way now.
We had a glass of cava with lunch and have pate and Brie in the fridge- hopefully it's a small window that we can enjoy them in xx

Only1scoop Sun 12-Oct-14 15:45:59

Bless you....I'm feeling ok slightly tender and bloody shattered but not bad.

Will you be staying in or coming home after treatment?

Get as much rest as you can

X

fififolle Sun 12-Oct-14 16:07:36

I'm glad you're ok.
I think I'm coming home tomorrow but they said to take an overnight bag. They want everything to happen there and I'm fine with that.
My mum has taken DS to the park and I'm n the conservatory with iPad and minstrels wink
Have a good sleep...and iron tablets xx

Only1scoop Mon 13-Oct-14 08:04:50

Thinking of you today....

thanks

fififolle Mon 13-Oct-14 22:23:08

Thank you Only1scoop. I'm home now. X

Booville3 Mon 13-Oct-14 23:08:06

I had a similar experience Halloween (2012) but it remains fresh in my mind, I had excellent care & a supportive family but I found it hit me like a ton of bricks, I felt like I was suffering a bereavement -the loss of the baby I had believed I was going to have - I got caught up with worries that something had gone wrong with me & I wouldn't be able to have another baby - all completely irrational but I couldn't help it! After a week off I went back to work & had my gorgeous ds to keep me smiling! I've since gone on to have another wonderful ds!

Be kind to yourself right now op!

fififolle Tue 14-Oct-14 09:13:12

Thank you so much. It's good to hear about your new baby too.

Only1scoop Tue 14-Oct-14 09:14:46

Fifi how are you doing today? Hope you are getting as much rest as you can x

fififolle Tue 14-Oct-14 10:21:28

I'm ok thanks, better now that yesterday is done with. I really couldn't have been better looked after, I was given my own room in hospital and cared for by fantastic staff. Unfortunately, despite 2 doses of the pessaries, nothing really happened in hospital. It all happened literally as I got home last night.
I'm dosed up on painkillers and watching rubbish TV. I never normally sit down on my days off so this is a new experience for me!
I really appreciate your support, it means a lot to me.
How are you feeling today? X

Quinandthem Tue 14-Oct-14 22:31:24

Hi fifi.

I'm stalking/joining you from the May board.

I've just found out about a missed mc so hoping to have the medical management option on Friday.

Good luck with everything.

fififolle Wed 15-Oct-14 07:24:32

Hi Quin, I'm so sorry about your MMC. The support on this board is amazing.
It's such a sad situation to be in an certainly the worst but for me after the initial shock was the waiting for treatment.
Are you sleeping ok?
If you want to ask about anything at all or even just have a chat, please feel free to pm me.
Have you got plenty of to support and someone to come with you on Friday?
Take care, try to relax as much as you can.
Xx

Boco2 Wed 15-Oct-14 23:46:45

Hi Ladies,

I'm so sorry you are going through this - I had a MMC 2 months ago and then a medical management. It was very painful (paracetemol did nothing for the pain - Ibuprofen worked well though). The pain knocked me side ways on the first day, to the extent I wasn't sure if I should go to A and E but it passed the second day. Lying in bed with a really hot hot water bottle over my tummy helped a lot. I didn't bleed much til the 3rd day and even then not nearly as much as I'd expected. If you can be at home and have someone to look after you it really helps. I was shocked and upset at losing the baby, but in part also shocked from how very ill I felt with the pain. Once the bleeding started and the baby came away it felt like a relief to have the process under way. Be gentle with yourselves - take as much time as you need away from work and make time to do nice things and see the people that matter to you. This has helped me keep going. Fingers crossed we will be luckier with future pregnancies. There isn't much comfort in being told by the GP, family and friends how common MCs are as it's very hard when it's you and you're the unlucky one (it is such a horrible experience and the world is so full of pregnant women and babies...) - but hopefully as my Mum keeps saying there's another baby waiting in the wings.

fififolle Fri 24-Oct-14 16:24:21

Time for an update...
I had medical management on 13th October, I was given 2 separate lots of the pessaries but nothing happen whilst I was on the ward. As soon as I got home, I have very heavy bleeding and lost a lot of tissue. The bleeding then lightened off. This week I've had heavier, dark red bleeding with a strange smell. I returned for a scan this morning when the (grumpy) sonographer told me that I still had 'stuff' remaining. Luckily all of the other medics were far more professional and dealt with me in a very kind, delicate manner.
I was give. The choices again; conservative management (hasn't happened so far and impractical), more medical management (not keen as already had 2 doses) or ERPC. I'm first on the list on Monday morning and out half term holiday has been delayed by a few days.
I have found threads on here incredibly supportive and would hope that someone may find this helpful. Certainly, with hindsight, I'd have gone for ERPC in the first place.
It all gets better from here, I'm enjoying the odd glass of wine while I can and looking forward to the BFP later in the year.

Flower29 Sat 25-Oct-14 10:03:26

Hi fifi, I hope your erpc goes ok Monday. I'm glad you're finding it supportive on here, I know I have in the weeks since my mc. Keep posting if you need to, I found the emotional side really kicked in after a couple of weeks and felt quite low. I hope once you have had the all clear from your op it helps you move forward. I know what you mean about the wine! wink
Sorry for your loss xxx

fififolle Sat 25-Oct-14 14:09:24

Thank you for the lovely reply flower. I'm really looking forward to our half term brae after Monday x

Dildals Wed 29-Oct-14 08:48:27

Oh, I have just posted asking for experiences with medical mgt of a miscarriage! This is useful, thanks. I do hope mine's succesful though!

Lots of hugs to all of you.
The things we do to have children ....

(I have also signed up for the TABLET study. Might help some ladies further down the line)

fififolle Wed 29-Oct-14 19:54:36

Hi Dildals sorry to hear that you're going through this. If you have any questions or just want to chat, please feel free to PM me.
What is the TABLET study? I haven't heard of it.

Dildals Sun 02-Nov-14 20:26:24

Hi fififolle I have posted separately on the tablet study.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/2222426-TABLET-study-call-for-participants?msgid=50431174#50431174

The misoprostol did absolutely nothing for me btw!!! I had a couple of spots of blood 22 hrs after taking the tablets! I'll just book myself in for an ERPC on Monday, what a waste of time, and I worried about it all for nothing! God knows why it didn't work!

fififolle Sun 02-Nov-14 20:36:14

Hi Dildals thank you for your reply. I've seen your post on the study, unfortunately it doesn't apply to my area.
What a shame that the misoprostol didn't work, especially when you just want to get on with things. All the best with your ERPC- it might be an idea to have a glass of wine tonight as I was on antibiotics after my mine.
Take care x

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