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Is it just me, or do you think my friend is being insensitive?

(3 Posts)
Booxo Wed 30-Jul-14 09:41:28

I wasn't going to tell anyone about this pregnancy until I got to 12 weeks. I started bleeding so went to a&e to get an early scan. I was supposed to be seeing my friend that day so had to tell her the reason for not going. She said oh no worries let's meet Thursday after my scan (she's 20weeks) so I said ok (no need to mention the scan really is there? After I just told her I might possibly be having a miscarriage) so anyway that was that I said yes let's meet Thursday. Then she goes on to say about her scan and that we can guess what sex it is and stuff. I'd normally be excited for her but I just don't want to talk about babies and scans right now. She just doesn't understand and I feel she always just thinks about herself. And it's gotten worse since she's been pregnant. Like the worlds gotta revolve round her. She said she's not allowed on a train because she's pregnant!?!?! Am I just being a bit mean because I'm upset. Sorry for essay, just gotta rant some where.

sizethree Wed 30-Jul-14 17:06:02

Hi booxo, sorry you're having such a rough time. Early pregnancy can be a really terrifying experience. I do hope that you're coping ok and getting the support you need.
I think your friend is being insensitive, but I think it's not out of malice. The mention of miscarriage often makes people not know how to respond. For something sadly so common, it is surprising how ignorant people can be when they're confronted by the mention of it in conversation. I think your friend is being clumsy. She won't know how to respond and luckily for her the fear of miscarriage will be a distant worry at 20 weeks.
It's hard having pregnant friends if your pregnancy isn't going as smoothly. I know that frustration only too well, and have suffered many classic clumsy words and acts from close friends that have hurt a lot.
Best thing to do is either try and explain your fears to her when you see her, or give the friendship a bit of breathing space until you feel able to tolerate her clumsiness.
My thoughts are with you. Hope you pull through ok.

Attheendof Fri 08-Aug-14 23:42:35

It's not real to her. She is in a pregnancy bubble and in a way it is scary for her to imagine anything can go wrong. Yes she is being insensitive and I wouldn't meet her for a few weeks if it was me, tbh.

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