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Waiting is miserable

(9 Posts)
Fortyisthenewthirty Sun 06-Apr-14 20:09:34

I've had a MMC - should be 9 weeks now but baby died somewhere around 8 weeks. They told me that blood was pooling in the uterus and all my symptoms disappeared about a week ago so I was hopeful things would happen naturally. But so far I have no spotting or bleeding at all. I have had abdominal pain (not really cramps more a constant ache, especially after eating) for the last two days. Does anyone know - is this a sign that it might be starting soon?

I thought I was coping OK, but I'm feeling pretty rubbish now. I have a compelling reason to need this to happen before next weekend (my husband has something really important to do and there is nobody else to look after our little boy) so I have an appointment to go in for medical management on Tuesday. My husband will not be able to come with me (again because there is no one else to look after our little boy), so I will have to go alone and drive myself. They told me I will have the pessaries and lie for an hour but then go home and it will happen later, so I will be fine to drive. I just feel really sorry for myself, I'm miserable anyway and the thought of going to have this done alone is making me so sad.

Not looking for solutions, I just needed to whinge. My husband is wonderful, but he's not a talker and I feel quite alone. One of the drawbacks of not telling many people about the pregnancy I suppose.

BJZebra Sun 06-Apr-14 20:54:55

Just wanted to respond and say how sorry I am for you. I'm going through a mc at home now. Even though I can talk to my DP there is a limit as I don't want to give TMI.

marshmallowpies Sun 06-Apr-14 21:23:05

Same thing happening here. DH and I have talked a bit but I think we are upsetting each other more by talking about it too much.

I have told a few close friends and colleagues as I had to pull out of things at short notice and didn't feel I could just say 'I'm a bit ill'.

Getting lots of supportive & lovely messages has been nice but it is weird to think so many people know something so personal.

DH is coming with me for my follow-up hospital appointment tomorrow but he really has to go back to work as he's been looking after our DD singlehanded since Wednesday. I hope I can cope with DD on my own again!

Hope you can get the support you need's such a hard time.

Fortyisthenewthirty Mon 07-Apr-14 07:56:23

I'm sorry that both of you are going through this too. Thank you for replying.

Fortyisthenewthirty Mon 07-Apr-14 08:03:47

BJZebra I know what you mean about TMI. My husband is squeamish (not that he can't man up and cope if he needs to, but I always worry about it). I've got very low blood pressure already so I've had to have a conversation with him about if there is a lot of blood loss - he may need to get help. I lost a lot of blood after the birth of my baby and passed out.

Today I'm feeling very low and sad. Nothing is happening here. I just wish it could be over.

bakingtins Mon 07-Apr-14 08:08:03

Forty is there anyone who can go with you for moral support? They make you stay for an hour just so the pessary dissolves and to check you're not allergic, and for me things happened about 6 hours later, so I'm sure you will be physically ok to drive, but it's a bit miserable to be facing it on your own.

<hugs> for all of you. It's a horrible thing to be facing.

Fortyisthenewthirty Mon 07-Apr-14 09:09:11

Thanks bakingtins

I don't know really. I don't think I would feel comfortable with anyone but my husband. My good friend who knows has offered to have my little boy, but the hospital gave me the impression I might not be seen straight away so we could be several hours. It's the school hols and she has 3 of her own including one the same age as my little boy (16 months). My lb hasn't really been left with anyone other than me, my husband or my mum (who is currently in Australia). I hate the thought of him being heartbroken (he definitely has separation anxiety at the moment- he cries when I go to the loo!).

I have options, just none of them seem very palatable. Just feeling sorry for myself I think.

Thanks for caring.

marshmallowpies Mon 07-Apr-14 11:52:40

Just back from EPU - it was all done sensitively with DH & DD in there but sitting to one side so they couldn't see what was going on down below or what was on the screen.

Turns out I do still have a small piece of sac inside but they expect it to come out naturally. Back there in 2 weeks if I am still bleeding. And back to some sort of normality between now and then...DD is about to turn 2, we don't want to spoil her fun & or be too unhappy around her.

Fortyisthenewthirty Mon 07-Apr-14 12:09:57

Glad your scan went well. Hope you can have a relaxing with your family xx

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