Mmc, how bad is the pain?(23 Posts)
Hello, I went for a scan yesterday and found out my baby stopped growing at 6 weeks (I was just over 11 weeks at the scan). They've given me a week to see if I miscarry naturally then got another scan next Monday and if nothing happened they'll use medical methods to make it happen. I've started bleeding lightly today which I guess is the start of it, but worried about the pain and how bad this is going to be. Can anyone give me their experiences? Negative or not so bad so I know what to expect. Thank you
So sorry to hear this. I was in a similar boat 3 years ago (11 wks pg but scan just showed a sac) so it's a bit of a distant memory now but I had about 5 or 6 days of light bleeding then in the middle of the night I woke up with a pushing urge and spent the next couple of hours running between bed and loo passing blood and clots. It wasn't horrendously painful but I'm afraid it was a bit gruesome. By the morning it had reduced to period-like bleeding that lasted a few more days IIRC.
So in a nutshell: painwise it was manageable but I found the mess quite distressing. I think I got away quite lightly in the scheme of things. Just to warn you too that even though the pregnancy stopped early on, there will still be 12 wks' or so womb lining to pass.
Sorry if this is TMI but I hope it helps you prepare for it. I have to say if it happened again (and I thought it was with DD2 - happily a false alarm) I would opt for an ERPC so it is tidier and can be planned around. Apparently it is common for things to get moving at about 12 weeks so hopefully you won't have long to go. All the best; I hope this is swiftly followed by a straightforward pg for you like it was for me (actually I had placenta previa but the rest was lovely...)
Thank you. So will I know when I need to go to the loo then to pass stuff? I've just got nighttime sanitary towels, will they be ok?
In retrospect I should have stayed in the bathroom throughout but it was the middle of the night and I had no idea how long it would last so I kept dashing back to bed. I do remember I was on a weekend away with my mum and sister (should have stayed home with hindsight...) and went through all 3 or 4 pairs of the spare pants (+ towels) I'd brought with me in a few hours. Sorry again for all the info. I think they say if you go through more than a towel (maternity maybe? Can't remember) an hour, to go into hospital and I was just on the cusp of that. But the worst was over within a few hours.
Sorry again that you are having to go through this. One of the worst things about the whole experience, apart from the whole not knowing if this was the start of many and whether my family plans would pan out as I hoped, was the waiting and the uncertainty. But I coped and you will too.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I had exact the same thing as you although i first knew about it because I started bleeding. My bleeding started like the early days of a period and then about 4 days in like the other poster I had a huge let out of blood - it was pretty gruesome and we were at a motorway services at the time! It is soaking a sanitary pad in an hour you need to go to hospital but I found the heavy blood passed out all at once and then was done. Then the bleeding subsided and was more like a heavy period day for a few hours before it started to fade.
Stay at home so you have the privacy of your own home and bathroom to deal with it. I found it made me feel quite light headed and then I got terrible migraines for a few days as my hormones rebalanced.
I would agree that an ERPC would avoid the mess and maybe less distressing but I don't know whether medically it is best to let it happen naturally.
Hang on in there. It is so horrid. I'm right now feeding my 8 week old so it there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Hugs x
I wanted to avoid the ERPC at the time because I'd heard you can have a bit of a hormone crash if you speed things up artificially. But the dr I spoke to had never heard of such a thing and pointed out that as I'd started to bleed anyway, my pg hormones were prob starting to drop off already. I was a bit reluctant to have surgery TBH but I've heard it's a v quick and straightforward procedure - and some natural miscarriages involve an ERPC at the end anyway of course.
Have just been through the same thing.
For me, the pain wasn't much worse than strong period pain. The clots were small and I didn't feel any pushing urge or anything beyond cramps.
I wore nighttime towels for 2 and a half weeks. Only really needed the extra of a nighttime one for a few days, but felt better knowing I was overprotected IYSWIM.
I am sorry you have to go through this too. Allow yourself to mope if that's what feels right, and look after yourself.
MrsG so sorry you are facing this. Have a read of the "tips for coping with practicalities" thread for more experiences.
I'd say stock up on wine, chocolate, ibuprofen and maxi pads and then stay home. I've had 4 MC at 8-10 weeks and they have all involved a short period of a few hours of extremely heavy bleeding. First time I ended up in hospital because the sac was stuck, other times it's been quite short lived, though frightening at the time. Have your DH or another adult around who can take you in if it all feels too much, you fill a maxi/night pad in less than an hour or you feel unwell. They don't get to drink the wine, just in case you need a chauffeur. Once the sac is passed (and you won't necessarily be aware of it, it may just look like a big clot) then bleeding tends to settle to period like proportions and then you carry on with whatever activity level you feel up to.
If you work GP or EPU will sign you off, they don't have to say it's a MC, most will put something vague about gynae issues if you want. Take all the time you need, for me, a few days to be physically better but much longer for any kind of emotional resilience.
Sorry you've all had to go through this. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Bleeding's a bit more now, like the start of a period. Will I know when the heavy flow will be or will it just happen when I'm on the sofa/in bed?
For me it came on suddenly, don't know if this is typical.
I had the same thing yesterday morning - I'd had light discharge for a week already, had an early scan on Monday which showed the embryo was too small & not developing, it turned into bleeding on weds.
The bleeding got heavy like a heavy period on Friday night, I went to bed with a hot water bottle & took nurofen express. On Saturday morning I could feel something needed to come out, went to the loo & the sac passed out (poor thing). I should have been 9 weeks and the scan showed it was only measuring 5-6 weeks, so what passed out was really small.
I'm still wearing thick pads but the bleeding is easing a bit now, I think, and no stomach cramps since the sac passed out.
It's dreadfully sad, but the feeling of relief when you know you've come through the worst is something. I still feel shattered & run down, but a lot better than 2 days ago.
Reading everyone's stories on here I am terrified! It sounds like a horror story what's going to happen. Absolutely petrified of just gushing everywhere, the pain, passing everything, the blood :-(
Easy for me to say but try not to worry. It's not pleasant but it is manageable; you will cope when it happens and it will be over and done with soon. Keep us posted if you can x
And like bakingtins says above, there might not be much to see other than some clots.
I'm sorry you're going through this. Be prepared for it to take a while. I had a mmc that took two weeks to physically happen. But if you are bleeding it might be likely to happen soon.
I felt cramps when mine was starting and went to bed on a dark towel in addition to the pads I had been wearing. The pain when things really got going was surprising, much worse than I had expected but over as soon as it had begun (I believe the sac was stuck in my cervix- tmi- but I was 8 weeks plus when baby died so I would hope it wouldn't be as bad for you). There was a lot of blood but again it didn't last long and I had light bleeding for a few days after.
I didn't find it frightening apart from the pain. It was natural. I buried my baby somewhere special and I was glad to be able to do that.
It was clear to me all the way through that I could change my mind any time and have an EPC. Your options are still open.
I wish for it to be as easy as it can for you.
Thank you all so much for your kindness. I'll keep you posted x
The pain was not as bad as I feared, coped ok with nurofen and a hot water bottle on the tummy (essential). Easy for me to say now the worst is past, that you'll feel better soon, but you really do.
Pain was nothing - like a bad period.
But the loss was significant and delivering the "products" was one of the most traumatic events of my life. If I had to choose again I would opt for surgical management instead, now.
Forgot to say: I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you can take time to be sad or angry if you need to be, and that you have people around you in real life to hold your hand when you need it.
You've all been so kind and supportive, I don't think I would have got through this without you all, my family and hubby. Still don't know if it's over (the worst of it anyway). Tues night I had really strong period like contraction pains, didn't sleep at all. Finally got up at 5.30am and passed a large clot about 2-3" long. Had already passed some clots earlier that day. After that the pain eased off and I slept until 10am. Yesterday afternoon had bad pains again, but not as bad as tues night, and passed some more clots. Today, not much pain, just mild period pain and normal period style bleeding. I hope the main part is over. Got a scan on Monday to see if everything's passed :-( if not have to have tablets/op to clear everything. Thank you all for helping me get through this
Sounds like you're out the other side now (NB I'm no medical professional!) and at any rate, you now know what to expect. So sorry this has happened. Look after yourself and good luck for Monday. All the best for a speedy recovery xx
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