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First thing in the morning is the most difficult

(5 Posts)
Virgo9 Sat 29-Mar-14 08:08:19

I was told Id had a MMC at my 12 wk scan last thurs and had a ERPC on Monday. Although I'm getting through the days, the first thing in the mornings are so difficult. I wake after tossing and turning most of the night with a real sinking feeling. I just feel sad, like I can't carry on, I thought after a week I would start to feel better but it's not getting any better. I went to the docs yesterday and she said it will just take time.
To make things worse my 3 year old son has really started playing up, I know he senses something going on but he just doesn't understand. I'm trying to be patient with him but he refuses to listen to anything we say, I don't know how to deal with the situation, unfortunately I just burst into tears, which I probably not helping.

Has anyone had a similar experience, any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Purplefrogshoes Sat 29-Mar-14 09:53:53

Hi Virgo, I'm so sorry you lost your baby. It has only been a very short time and it will take time but I promise you that you will feel better. I had a tough time after my 2nd mc, just wanted to hide from the world but it did get easier.

Wheresmysocks Sat 29-Mar-14 10:03:18

Oh op my heart goes out to you.
I remember the feeling your talking about.

It's a week, such a short time. You've been through so much. You need to heal physically & emotionally.

After the ERPC I was physically fine in a few days.

Emotionally? I came to terms with it but the mmc changed me. I had no support. No one cared about me or my baby. My heart was broken.

Talk if you can... dh/dp, friends, family or The Miscarriage Association.

Take care of yourself. Your little boy is probably feeling very unsettled but he's young & will be fine as you sound so caring.

Sending you big hugs. X

bakingtins Sat 29-Mar-14 19:53:55

virgo I'm so sorry you lost your baby. Nobody would expect you to be 'over it' or feeling better a week after any other bereavement, cut yourself some slack. Do you have any family or friends who can take your son off your hands for an hour or two? It's very hard to deal with a toddler when you are grieving. He must be aware something is wrong but too little to understand what - very hard for all of you.
I found it helpful to plan something to say goodbye - write a letter or poem, plant a tree or shrub, choose memorial jewellery, release a balloon, charity gift... I'm sure others would have more ideas, but whatever feels meaningful to you.
If you are still struggling weeks or months down the line then counselling might be appropriate, but I think at the moment how you are feeling is an entirely normal response to the loss. The Miscarriage Association have a helpline if you would like to talk to someone who has been through similar, or keep posting if you find it helpful. Sadly there are lots of us who have been there and can understand, you are far from alone with it all.

Virgo9 Sat 29-Mar-14 20:41:12

Thank you all for your reassurance

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