Very sudden miscarriage today. Warning: detailed(32 Posts)
I was I think about 13 weeks pregnant and had not had my 12 week scan yet - it was scheduled for Thursday morning (oh - just realised that's today) . I had a tiny bit of spotting about 10 days ago although haven't been feeling very pregnant if that makes sense for the past couple of weeks so was fretting about the scan a lot and feeling very worried and expecting the worst.
Today I had a tiny bit of pink discharge this morning so put a pad on so could monitor it. Went out for a walk this morning (thankfully am off work on leave this week) and felt a little crampy but nothing major. Lunchtime there was a very small bit of brown blood on my pad. I had a sit down and rested for a bit then suddenly I felt a pop feeling and a massive gush of fluid that soaked my pad, clothes, sofa, carpet etc. I knew right away my waters had gone. Sat on the loo and the blood and clots started 5-10 mins later. Lots of blood and felt like huge clots - I later learned one of these was the sac as it was already gone when I reached hospital. I called my MW and got sent to the EPU immediately - I was there within 45mins of waters going. The blood loss was horrendous - we had no childcare for our 11 month old so DP had to drop me at hospital front door then Park and take DS to wait in the cafe as I didn't want him to be on the EPU. Trying to get from the hospital entrance to the EPU I was literally pouring with blood and clots, doubled in pain and leaving a trail of blood. I had loaded up with 5 night time always pads all at once before I set out but in the 20 mins from my house to the EPU I had soaked through them, my leggings, skirt and coat. A member of the public had to help me get to the EPU as I was a wreck.
The EPU staff were great but it was quite obvious to everyone that my baby was gone. I had to be rushed for an emergency ERPC as they were not able sure that everything was out and the excessive bleeding was a sign my body was trying to expel something. And now I'm in a gynae ward - awaiting seeing a consultant in the morning to find out if was ectopic or molar which they were concerned about.
I've been quite shocked by this whole experience - was shocked to be pregnant in the first place as DS was an IVF pregnancy - but I never expected a miscarriage to be such a very sudden and dramatic experience with such huge sudden loss. I'm so grateful that it started at home and not at work etc. Other than that not really done much thinking or talking to DP - he came for 15 mins tonight but I didn't want him to stay as he had had to drag our little boy out of bed. Am on hourly obs so don't expect to go to sleep tonight. Not sure why I'm posting really - suppose I just wanted to tell someone about what happened today. We hadn't told anyone about the pregnancy and don't plan to tell any family about the mc for various reasons (I'd prefer to avoid the inevitable drama) although I have a good friend I might confide in when I see her in a week or so from now. Physically I actually feel ok now - no pain and only bleeding like a normal period.
Feel awful saying this but I kind of feel relieved it's over - I felt so not pregnant that I've felt sure I'd had a mmc and would be told so at my scan, and it's been on my mind making me worry 24/7. Weird as it may sound, I feel a bit relieved that I'm no longer in limbo - knowing for definite feels better than worrying and wondering if that makes sense.
Sorry this is so long, and really hope it's not distressed anyone. If you got to the end of my post, thanks for reading......
I'm so sorry for your terrible loss. Try and rest, but know we're here if you feel like talking.
Just popping by to say how sorry I am to read this. Take care of yourself & get some rest if you can.
Oh I'm so sorry you're going through this...I hope you get the support you need, although I do understand what you mean about feeling relieved - limbo is an awful place to be. Be kind to yourself.
I'm sorry to hear your story. It all sounds sudden and scary. Look after yourself and give yourself enough time to recover.
Thanks so much for your replies. It was a truly terrifying experience so I think the sense of relief is both at the end of the 'limbo' feeling and also because the blood loss has slowed. I lost over a litre in the EPU and had lost plenty at home before too so was a scary scene.
In times of crisis I always turn to mumsnet for advice - I'm not much of a sharer in RL. Thanks for replies - it does help to know that others who understand are there.
Oh gosh, that sounds really traumatic . I sorry that you miscarried.
I hope you feel better soon.
Mumsnet's great for talking things through, day or night. It can be comforting to know someone's always at the other side of the keyboard when you feel terrible. Are you managing to doze between obs?
Oh, I'm really sorry to read this GreatSoprendo. It sounds like you had a truly awful time of it. I'm glad you are being looked after in hospital.
It's a long time since I had a miscarriage but I do understand your feelings of relief.
I don't find the details distressing, especially considering the warning in your thread title. If talking it through on here is helping you then that is a really good thing.
Hi muddling. Not managed any dozing yet - just reading a very trashy crime novel on my kindle. Dp packed me an overnight bag with some very random contents - God knows what I will be wearing tomorrow - but at least he remembered my beloved Kindle :-)
If I'm ok at my 2am obs they will move me to every 2 hours, so will try to sleep 2 til 4 - they have kindly given me earplugs as there is a major snorer in this Bay.
Hope whatever has you up at this late hour is nothing unpleasant.
Thanks Jazzy. I just didn't want someone who was worrying about mc to read it and assume they all happen like this. The hospital staff have all been fantastic although I am finding it hard to handle when they are too nice and sympathetic to me - but I've always found people being too nice a bit hard to handle strangely. Thanks for your kind words.
I've had backache for a few days so not sleeping too well.Sorry there's a snorer in your bay, there's always one. And bags packed by Dps are always a source of bewilderment, I hope there's something in there that may give you even a wee smile.
I'm so very sorry for your loss is there any chance you can ask the nurse for something to help you sleep? You have been through so much, my heart goes out to you and your family. I hope the next days will be gentle for you..xx
How terrifying for you. Very sorry for both your loss and the horrible way (though, I'm award there is no 'nice' way) it happened.
So sorry for your loss. Hope you are sleeping now.
Thanks for all your kind words. I didn't sleep a wink last night, but am being discharged later this morning and have got DS in nursery all day so I can sleep this afternoon. Feeling a bit more teary this morning but glad to be going home. Been confirmed it was neither ectopic or molar which is a relief - so just 'one of those things' I suppose. Thanks again all the nightowls for your support
So sorry for your loss. I had the same thing many years ago. It will take time to recover, but you will. Please let others take care of you until you are back on your feet. Be gentle on yourself, go slowly, cherish the gorgeous child you already have.
So sorry that you have been through this, your story sounds similar to mine. I had no idea how dramatic it was going to be and I'm still in shock I think. I hope you are able to rest today, take care
So sorry you have been through such a traumatic loss, it must have been very frightening. I'm glad the mumsnet night-owls were around to keep you company. I hope you are soon home in your own bed. You may find it doesn't really hit you emotionally for a few days, you've had a huge physical shock, IME you tend to go into survival mode and it's only later that you start to react emotionally. We're here to handhold whenever you need some support.
Hi, just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you today..I hope you are getting some much needed rest. Xx
So very sorry for your loss.
It all sounds very traumatic & your right it's not a very common thing to happen.
I had a MMC last year & an ERPC. It didn't hit me for quite a few days. Don't underestimate what you've been through. If you're able to get support in RL, take it.
I found MN a god send as well as The Miscarriage Association.
Take care of yourself. X
Thanks so much for lovely comments - they really do help. In the end I didn't get discharged until late afternoon, but have had a hot bath and some beans on toast with my precious DS so the world is starting to feel a bit more normal. Will be getting to bed as soon as DS goes down as have now been up since 7am Weds.
I need to give myself a bit of time to think about what has happened - at the moment all I'm thinking about is the physical effects (blood loss, sore hand from drip, bruised ribs for some reason, sore throat from being tubed for GA) but emotionally I think I'm going to find it hard. Trying to decide what to do about work - I've been on my hols this week (and what a way to spend your holidays!) but am thinking of maybe telling them I won't be in next week. It's a full on job and I can't see me being up to it physically or mentally. On the other hand, work has been a good distraction for me during some bad times in the past. Going to sleep on it.
Thanks again all, and night night for today
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