Waiting to miscarry - should I cancel all my plans?(5 Posts)
Sorry if this is a stupid question, but I found out at a scan this morning that I have a "failing pregnancy". I don't live in the UK so terminology and procedures may be different. I was told to come back in a week for another scan and a D+C (that's definitely what they called it although it seems that's not quite the same as an ERPC), if nothing has happened naturally before then. I should be 7 weeks but the sac is measuring only 5 weeks and has hardly grown since my first scan at 5 weeks, when I started bleeding.
So my question is, do I have to cancel my plans for the next week? I don't have a job so don't need to be signed off work, but I do do voluntary work and private tutoring and classes. Should I cancel all that just in case the bleeding starts? I have been having light bleeding with no pain for almost two weeks, but it's actually slowing down over the last few days. Just wondering what you would do in my position? Stay at home waiting for it to start or carry on as normal?
Thanks so much!
Anna I'm so sorry you are going through this. The limbo phase of realising the pregnancy is going wrong but not actually miscarrying is very difficult to deal with. If you have a read through the thread "tips for coping" you'll realise that every experience is different. In my experience of 4 natural or medical miscarriages at 8-10 weeks I have always had a phase of very heavy blood loss and cramps when I wouldn't want to be anywhere except my own bathroom, but if the pregnancy is at a five week stage it may be more comparable to a heavy period. To some extent it depends if the sac and supporting structures have continued to grow how much tissue there will be to come away.
How are you coping emotionally? Is it easier on you to carry on regardless or do you need some time on your own? How easy would it be to cancel plans at the last minute or suddenly if it got to a stage where you weren't comfortable to carry on?
Sorry you are going through this. I have just had a miscarriage at 5-6 weeks on Friday. It was like a heavy period, and I did just carry on as I didn't want the kids to miss out on going out at the weekend. It may be slightly different for you though, as I spontaneously miscarried and felt the sac come out as a whole. I don't need a D & C, as far as I know, and the bleeding has now stopped.
It's a horrible thing to go through Anna - you will find support and help here if you need it. I'm very sorry that this is happening to you.
From experience, I would say to keep active - very active - for as long as possible. You can rest afterwards if you feel you would like to, but, to get things moving on, I always do as much as I can physically. I've never found that it all starts suddenly with a mmc - I tend to bleed once, then nothing for a few days, then it takes about 3 days after it starts again, but that's at 12 weeks or so.
I agree with bakingtins that there are times when leaving your own house is unthinkable, but that may not be the case at this stage.
Thanks everyone for the advice. I have been mostly moping around the house today but that's been pretty depressing so will try and do more tomorrow. The practical tips thread has been an eye opener, but so useful. Why don't the doctors / nurses / midwives tell you more of this kind of stuff? Typical that today the spotting has stopped almost completely - I have no idea what's going on with my body - argh!
I'm sorry that you have all been through this horrible experience too.
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