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ERPC tomorrow - advice/ experiences/ handholding welcome

(11 Posts)
Jetpackplease Mon 17-Mar-14 20:58:59

Hi - found out last week I've had a MMC at some point between 7 and 10 weeks, having previously seen the heartbeat at 5 and 7 weeks. I'm 33 and this was my first pg. ERPC tomorrow at UCH in London. I'd welcome any experiences about the procedure and recovery, as well as ttc afterwards (amazingly we had managed to conceive during first cycle trying). Thanks and sorry for everyone's losses.

Writemove Mon 17-Mar-14 21:19:25

I am so sorry for your loss. It is devastating.
I had a mmc at eight weeks in November 2012 and had an erpc. It was harder emotionally than physically. It felt like the right decision because my body hadn't realised it wasn't pregnant for three weeks and I just wanted some kind if closure.
I went in that morning and was home by 6pm. My main memory is that afterwards I was hungry because it was nil by mouth. I had hardly any bleeding afterwards and was back at work five days later (maybe a little too soon in hindsight but I wanted to be busy). You'll know best how you want to Grieve.
Less than a year later I was holding my newborn son. I conceived on my first cycle after the miscarriage, in January last year and he was born in October. He's now almost five months old and sleeping next to me as I type.
I still thought of my first pregnancy on what would have been my due date and still wonder what might have been.
You are not alone.

bakingtins Tue 18-Mar-14 09:20:33

jetpack I'm v sorry you have lost your baby. My MC have been either natural or medical but I've bumped up the tips for coping thread for you which has advice on all management methods. Thinking of you today flowers

RunDMC Tue 18-Mar-14 11:03:23

jetpack I'm so sorry you're going through this and you are not alone. I've also just found out I've had a mmc after having one in 2010. I chose ERPC the first time (and will do this time too) as I didn't want to deal with things naturally and my memories are similar to those of writemove that it wasn't particularly physically painful and also there was only a little bleeding - like a light period for 3-4 days afterwards.

It's usual that they give you a pessary a couple of hours before the procedure to soften the cervix so don't be surprised about that. You'll also have to wait for a few hours afterwards to be monitored and make sure there is no heavy bleeding. My experience was that the nurses and staff were amazingly supportive and kind so I hope this will be the case for you too.

You will be tired afterwards so don't plan to do much for a few days afterwards. Will be thinking of you today.

Jetpackplease Tue 18-Mar-14 13:35:34

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond, ladies. It's greatly appreciated and very helpful to hear of others' experiences. The thread bumped by bakingtins is also really useful. Feeling nervous but will be glad to have this part over with. Thanks again xx thanks

Jetpackplease Tue 18-Mar-14 13:38:42

And RunDMC so sorry you're going through this again. Hope you have plenty of support thanks

MissDaisy01 Tue 18-Mar-14 14:55:12

Hi there, I'm so sorry for your loss. It's such a horrible experience turning up for the scan and being told your baby has no heartbeat. I have recently been through the same. We got married in December and I got pregnant on the honeymoon, it all seemed too good to be true. We went along for our 12 week scan and there had been no signs that anything was wrong with the pregnancy. 7 pregnancy tests later and I had finally put my mind at rest and thought things would be fine. The hospital were fantastic. We had lost our baby at around 8-9 weeks so 3-4 weeks had already passed without us knowing. I had to go back for a scan a week later to re-confirm on heartbeat and was encouraged to try and miscarriage naturally. Nothing happened though so two weeks later I went back and an ERPC was recommended. The whole experience of carrying the baby around for that amount of time knowing it was not alive was the hardest part for me. It was a massive struggle to get out of bed and face the world but with the support of my husband, family and friends I managed. The process of having the ERPC done felt like it was a positive step of moving forward and trying to put things behind us which is easier said than done. I went in to hospital on Thursday last week at 7 am and everything was over and done with and I was discharged by midday. I can honestly say that yes it is heartbreaking and it is the toughest thing I have encountered but the physical side effects have been minimal for me. I have had very little bleeding and the odd stomach cramp. I came back to work on Monday and am glad that I did. Being at work has helped me to try and carry on and I know that personally being at home made me dwell on things more than being at work where I am slightly more distracted. I hope all goes okay for you with the ERPC. Thinking of everyone going through this crap.xx

KatAndKit Tue 18-Mar-14 15:06:30

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had the same procedure back in 2010. Physically it was not too bad, got wheeled to theatre on a bed, given general anaesthetic, think the operation only took 15 minutes and then I woke up in recovery and was wheeled back to the room I started in where DH was waiting. Obviously emotionally it was not easy, but physically I did not have much pain, took co codamol for a day or two. However I did have an episode of pain and heavy clotty bleeding two days later and I was not warned about that.if ihad been given better advice on recovery I would not have made a wasted trip to the hospital.

As for practicalities it makes life easier for you if you have a pair of pants with a pad already stuck on in your hospital bag, also some wipes or flannels to wash yourself with down there as you will be a bit messy after the surgery.

You should be home a few hours later. Spend the rest of the day, and the day after, resting on the couch or in bed with a hot water bottle if you need it. After a few days you ought to be fine physically but of course emotionally it takes longer.

Writemove Tue 18-Mar-14 17:54:55

Thinking of you today jetpack. Hope you are coping.

One thing that hasn't been mentioned and something I wasn't prepared for was the fact I continued to get positive pregnancy tests for about two weeks after as the hormone level dropped back to normal. It felt like another betrayal by my body. It was only when I got a negative I felt like I could finally move on.

I'm so sorry you see having to go through this.

JokersGiggle Tue 18-Mar-14 22:29:32

Been thinking of you today thanks

Jetpackplease Wed 19-Mar-14 11:23:03

Thank you for all the kind words and advice - it has really, really helped. Sorry for all of you having been through this heartbreak too. The procedure was fine in the end. I was terrified before the GA (surgeon said my BP went through the roof), but when I came round 45 mins later I mainly felt relief that it was over and that I hadn't known anything about it. Today the pain and bleeding are manageable. I feel more able to grieve now the physical uncertainty has gone, and also more able to look to the future and ttc again. Thank you again and best of luck to everyone recovering, ttc and generally navigating this crazy world of pregnancy xx thanks

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