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waiting to miscarry. Is there anything I can do so it happens naturally?

(22 Posts)
Psmith83 Tue 08-Apr-14 10:14:45

Hey Aoife,

Poor you, what is happening to you sounds truly awful.
I can understand why those statistics are scary, but there are lots of success stories too. I know what it's like to despair, I do wonder if I'll ever be pregnant again, or if I'm destined to be an "unlucky one" or a statistical anomaly. It's very hard to stay hopeful when you feel so guarded.
glad you're getting help, and I'm so sorry that all of this is happening to you.

Aoifebelle Sun 06-Apr-14 14:20:29

Hey all. I had a few weeks of approximate normality, stuck head in sand and enjoyed myself for a while. Had appointment at RMC clinic on Friday and I am recognising that I haven't properly processed the last miscarriage at all. Back to being teary again, I don't even know yet the extent of what I should be upset about. If they find a problem that can be helped, then I think we would try again, but if like 50% of women then don't find an issue, I don't know if we would look to adoption, try more testing or roll the dice again. My 40th is looming down on me, so time is not on my side, and the odds of success aren't getting any better. Finding it really hard to be positive and hopeful, which in turn is not helping with motivation. Six weeks until test results - we shall see then I suppose.

Psmith83 Sat 29-Mar-14 07:25:00

Hey Aoife, how are you doing now?

Aoifebelle Sun 16-Mar-14 18:39:50

Thanks baking, I have an appointment in three weeks, currently reading Lesley Regans book , will certainly be on the thread once I know what questions I have.

bakingtins Sun 16-Mar-14 16:57:00

Hi aoife thanks for updating. I'm glad things got moving for you naturally in the end. Will you be pursuing testing now?
You are v welcome on the RMC thread if you have questions about the process. It felt important to me to do my utmost to find a reason for my losses, even though I knew I might not get any answers, or not ones I liked (that I could do anything about).
Most of us on that thread have also been round and round whether to try again, or pursue other options to complete our families, so you'd also be in good company with those thoughts in your mind.
Hope you are being well looked after. flowers

Aoifebelle Sun 16-Mar-14 10:24:32

Just checking back in. I miscarried last weekend. Was confirmed as complete on Wednesday. I think exercise and stretching may have helped things move along, so would recommend for anyone in similar position. The wine may also have helped.

The pain and bleeding were not as bad as I was expecting,easily managed with pads and paracetamol. Thanks to the advice on here I was well prepared.

Don't think it has properly sunk in yet, still feel quite numb, and I don't yet know the full extent of what I am greiving for yet. I am 39 no dc and may be facing the prospect of never having biological children. Lots to get my head around. I hope the rest of you are feeling some relief.

Aoifebelle Mon 03-Mar-14 07:08:13

Yep still nothing doing. Spent the weekend cleaning like a mad thing and hitting the treadmill.
The absolute worst thing about the waiting is that hope creeps back in. Apart from sore boobs I have zero pregnancies symptoms. My scan said 5 weeks when it should have been 8, for those dates to make sense I would have to have gotten pregnant after my bfp. I am a very very rational person. So how come there is a little voice piping up every now and then with thoughts like, maybe the scan was wrong, maybe you did screw up your dates, maybe your baby is just a slow starter and will catch up later. It is nine more days before I am even scanned again. This. Is. Shit.

jumped I found the erpc to be pretty straight forward and it definitely does allow you to start processing and healing immediately. Last time round it came as a blessed relief for me. Only trying to avoid it as I have had two already ( one does like a bit of variety in ones miscarriages)

Loopylouu Mon 03-Mar-14 03:36:00

I was in same position as you almost a year ago. I'm so sorry.

It was four weeks exactly from the fetus (I hate that word in this context) dying to me misscarrying.

I tried everything - even acupuncture, nothing worked. I just had to wait it out.

I am so sorry you are going through this, it was the worst time of my life.

TheJumped Fri 28-Feb-14 23:03:36

In a similar boat here. Just want it to happen now - went for scan at 9 weeks as had some light bleeding, baby measured 6 weeks. That was a week ago and I'm still only bleeding very lightly, I'm sure there is going to be a big gush at some point but all I want to do is lie around feeling sorry for myself drinking lots of wine. I have an ERPC booked for next Weds but wish it was sooner. So annoying that our bodies just don't crack on with it - very inefficient.

browneyesblue Fri 28-Feb-14 16:04:27

Lots of strength and love to you too Blackeyed x

BlackeyedPetitsPois Fri 28-Feb-14 16:00:21

This is my first miscarriage so it's all new to me. Going through it time and again must be heartbreaking.

It feels like my body is playing a very cruel trick on me.

Why why why?

Keep strong OP thanks

browneyesblue Fri 28-Feb-14 15:51:13

I'm so sorry that you are going through this.

When I had my second MC (MMC at 9.5 weeks), I had a panic at the thought of an ERPC so looked into ways to get things started naturally.

I read a few stories of women who had tried acupuncture, and started looking into practitioners who specialised in fertility issues. I decided to have the ERPC in the end, but if I had wanted to avoid it, I would have tried acupuncture. I can't find all the original links, but the original post about it that I found is here. You would almost certainly have to wait until the next scan though.

I don't know if complementary therapies are your thing, but I thought I'd offer it as a suggestion.

Sending you strength and love x

Aoifebelle Fri 28-Feb-14 15:30:46

So sorry blackeye getting to 12 weeks and then finding out is a real kick in the stomach. All went Tits up for me at 12 weeks scan last time with some pretty bad results followed by termination.

Currently thinking my body is a traitorous bitch. Not sure what else it has in store. MC, medical termination and now MMC. Just waiting for a molar pregnancy or blighted ovum or whatever foul named fate it can throw at me.

How can our bodies be so fucking slow on the uptake?

BlackeyedPetitsPois Fri 28-Feb-14 14:26:39

Im sorry OP.
I'm currently waiting to miscarry. It's horrid and I feel in limbo.

Went for 12 week scan on Monday just gone. No indication anything was wrong so when the sonographer said it was too small for 12 weeks, and more like 8 weeks, I was devastated. The second sonographer then confirmed no fetal heartbeat.

So here I am waiting. It died nearly 5 weeks ago and my body still hasn't realised. No bleeding, cramps, nothing.

I feel for you OP.

Aoifebelle Fri 28-Feb-14 08:32:12

Well that fits in nicely with my desire to get fitter. Every cloud eh?

CelticPromise Fri 28-Feb-14 08:04:51

I'm very sorry.

I miscarried last year and like you I waited for it to happen naturally. I found some info somewhere suggesting exercise could bring it on, and in my case it did happen after a bike ride and a run. No evidence, just my experience.

I hope it's as easy as it can be for you. I wish you all the best.

eurochick Fri 28-Feb-14 08:01:02

When I was told I would miscarry I started 'project eviction' as for various reasons I wanted to avoid an erpc. I did all the things you are not supposed to do when pregnant- strong coffee, beasting myself on really hard runs, etc. I have no idea if it made a difference or if it would have happened anyway, but I miscarried after a few days of this.

I'm sorry this is happening to you. Be kind to yourself.

Aoifebelle Fri 28-Feb-14 07:59:10

Thanks all. Have had 2 eprcs, there is evidence that multiple procedures can damage the lining of the womb, so wanted to avoid if poss. Medical might be an option. It sucks when your silver lining is miscarrying naturally as opposed to surgical intervention.

NewJobNewLife Fri 28-Feb-14 07:54:11

I am so sorry to hear about your loss.

I miscarried at 8 weeks just as you describe. I was told (and still have the info leaflet) that it is just a waiting game if you wait for things to happen naturally. I was also told it might happen quickly (and messily), which I was worried about.

I opted for medical management. It was a vaginal pessary that I inserted at home, took some painkillers and went to bed. Things started to come away within about 6 hours, I was crampy with manageable bleeding for about 3 days, bled for 2 weeks. It was shit, but manageable pain wise and I was glad to not be waiting.

I am sorry this is happening to you. Maybe talk to whoever is treating you about medical management?

googietheegg Fri 28-Feb-14 07:49:18

No advice other than be kind to yourself. Erpcs are shit, but mine was over quickly at least, after guffing about with pills that didn't work. Sorry aoife. hmm

Luckystar1 Fri 28-Feb-14 07:43:24

Aoife I'm so sorry for you. I went with medical management, so I can't offer any advice, I think it's just a waiting game if you go naturally. Is there any reason you had erpc before? Medically I mean?

Is this your third in a row? I'm so, so sorry. You poor thing, it's absolutely shit.

I am thinking of you. X

Aoifebelle Fri 28-Feb-14 07:37:14

I am currently waiting for mc #3. Went for 8 week scan, empty sack with no visible embryo and no heartbeat measuring about 5 weeks. Been told to come back for another scan in 2 weeks but I am pretty certain it is game over. I would really like to avoid another erpc. Is there anything I can to encourage it to start naturally?

It doesn't feel good that this weird limbo now feels so familiar it is almost normal.

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