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Please hold my hand... waiting to miscarry

(37 Posts)
TheJumped Sun 23-Feb-14 15:22:07

I started bleeding 2 days ago, only spotting really but turned to redder and darker blood and I just don't feel pregnant any more. Went to a and e yesterday and they said it was 50/50 whether I'd miscarry, but that was based on a GP poking at my tummy. The EPU at the hospital isn't open at weekends so I have to wait til tomorrow (Monday) for a scan. They said to rest and have fluids til then. DH is being great and looking after toddler and house. I'm resting as much as I can but am just waiting for the inevitable. Whenever I pee there is a little dark red blood (not brown) and I just feel... open, and not full and pregnant any more. I've read the miscarriage tips thread which has prepared me for what to expect, but this waiting is just horrible. Sorry if this is incoherent, just feeling so sad and out of control. Work don't know I'm pregnant (10 weeks) so will have to tell them too. I feel like I'm about to have a period, all dull achey cramps.

silkknickers Sun 23-Feb-14 15:25:58

hand-holding. so sorry you're going through this.

JuliaScurr Sun 23-Feb-14 15:27:08

<offers hand>
Do work need to know? You could just leave it as a vague gynae problem
take it easy

Forester Sun 23-Feb-14 17:41:10

I'm sorry.

And I'm here to hold your hand as well.


GailLondon Sun 23-Feb-14 18:05:07

I'm here for you too. I'm going through the same right now at 12 weeks. Please get yourself back to hospital if the bleeding or pain gets worse.
Sending hugs and support

bakingtins Sun 23-Feb-14 19:07:19

I'm sorry you are facing this, the limbo is just awful. Thinking of you tomorrow.

TheJumped Sun 23-Feb-14 19:37:47

Thanks all thanks

Just the same all day today. The doctor made it sound like I could influence the outcome by resting an having fluids, but realistically it's either ok or it's not, and I feel so wrong, I know it's not going to be good news at scan tomorrow so no point staying positive, easier to expect and plan for the worst. I have a condition that makes me at increased risk of miscarriage anyway (partly divided uterus) so was partly expecting it, but have never miscarried before so it's still a shock.

TheJumped Sun 23-Feb-14 19:40:06

Gail have you had a scan yet to confirm? Hope you're doing ok.

So annoyed that EPU not open at weekend at my hospital, so horrible to have to wait. They did say to go back to A and E if bleeding gets worse, but how do you quantify 'worse' really? If it's floods as people have described on the tips thread, I'd rather stay home tbh. I just want a scan. And to be alone and not to have to deal with DH / toddler / house / work / anything.

Effic Sun 23-Feb-14 19:47:35

Hand holding from me too. Am so sorry - please take care of yourself over the coming days and allow yourself the chance to feel sad.

scornedwoman67 Sun 23-Feb-14 21:21:45

so sorry. I miscarried twice at 10 weeks. It's hideous. Sending you and your family flowers

charitymum Sun 23-Feb-14 21:38:00

It's horrible. So sorry. Hoping the doctor is wrong. I've got 12 year old in room next door that I had same symptoms as you describe but I've also lost several babies starting in same way too. So shit that EPU not available now.

If bleeding is soaking a pad in 3ins or less then go to a and e.

Take paracetamol. And drinking will help reduce any effects of fluid loss.

At 10 weeks it may feel like a mini labour. Pain will get worse until you pass products of pregnancy. This may include a baby 3cm or so. I say this because it was a shock when this happened. Stupid I know but friends in the same situation said same and that they wish they had known.

Make sure you get a scan afterwards.

And grieve your loss because it is one. Take some time off.

Hand holding.

charitymum Sun 23-Feb-14 21:38:47

Should read 30 mins or less - sorry

Shlurpbop Sun 23-Feb-14 21:39:25

Here with you, holding your hand x

TheJumped Sun 23-Feb-14 22:45:04

Thank you.

Charitymum I'm terrified of the labour bit as I have only had planned c-sections in the past. Reading the threads on here it seems it could be really quick or take days. Am prepared to wake in middle of the night in floods. Sorry to be so graphic and negative. Thanks also for saying how much blood is when to go back in to hosp.

As an aside, I'm staying up watching Bridesmaids and it is really crap hmm

charitymum Sun 23-Feb-14 23:26:41

It's like a mini labour and the actual painful bit doesn't tend to last top long. I've always found walking around helps (when you know for sure you are miscarriaging) - friends have sworn by hot water bottles. Might be worth calling 111 and asking if OOH can prescribe you some codeine? If not and nothing has happened over night then ask doctor for some tomorrow.

Re bleeding on the hole the average miscarriage at 10 weeks does not bless much more than heavy period with more tissue (placenta etc).

Hope bridesmaids has helped.....

charitymum Sun 23-Feb-14 23:28:07

... on the whole does not bleed much more ...

Bloody predictive text!

scornedwoman67 Sun 23-Feb-14 23:53:06

I would suggest you get some strong painkillers in too. I was in a lot of pain in the night. Mine lasted about 24 hrs. Sending a hug x

charitymum Mon 24-Feb-14 09:50:52

Hi. How you this morning?

charitymum Mon 24-Feb-14 10:06:07

Hi. How you this morning?

violetbubbles Mon 24-Feb-14 13:22:15

Sorry to hear this. My miscarriage started last Monday. It's so incredibly hard. I found the women on here to be incredibly supportive. And when you're ready there is some really good and reliable information and advice on the Miscarriage Association website.

TheJumped Mon 24-Feb-14 14:21:02

Had scan today - baby measured 6.3 weeks instead of 10. So pretty conclusive combined with the bleeding and now cramping too. Holing up in bed with tea and toast waiting for it all to kick off properly now.

JuliaScurr Mon 24-Feb-14 14:57:36

sending best wishes to all going through it


charitymum Mon 24-Feb-14 19:47:26

So sorry to hear that.

Wishing you well.

And love to all others in here who are and have been going through this.

TheJumped Mon 24-Feb-14 20:51:19

I am now drinking wine and it's just trickling so slowly. I feel like I should go for a run or something to get it going properly sad just lazing around while DH takes care of everything.

sebsmummy1 Mon 24-Feb-14 20:56:58

Hand holding here TheJumped. So sorry you are going through this sad

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