My heart is breaking :-(

[MrsGiraffe12]

Arggghhhhhhh. Yet another friend has announced she's pregnant. When's it gonna be my turn? This is bollocks, my heart feels like it's breaking :-( my son keeps asking when will I grow another baby as he misses the one on heaven and my husband doesn't care anymore either, he just says what will be will be :-(

[Bakingtins]

sorry, mrsG it's crap. I think you have your EDD soon, which must make it extra hard at the moment. Death by a thousand stabs in the back cuts....
hoping it is your turn in 2014

[MrsGiraffe12]

Thankyou Bakingtins. I really honestly thought I'd be ok by now but the EDD has hit me harder than I thought. And the little monkey hasn't mentioned the baby in ages but all of a sudden has which adds to the grief. I feel trapped in a bubble which no one but the ladies who have been through it understand. I sometimes just want to shake someone and say "my baby died. Just because it wasn't born yet doesn't mean my grief is any less significant. Please ask me how I am". I think I might go to my gp about depression. It's gnawing away at me now and I feel like my husband and son deserve their wife and mother back, how I was before. I used to be fun. I didn't cry and shout all the time. I feel like I'll never be the same again x

[Forester]

Sorry you are having a tough time. It does sound like you have taken it particularly hard and I think you should go to your GP. I've had two MC's this year (I already have a DD) and while I have this ongoing sadness underneath I don't have a problem functioning normally with everyone around me. I hope things are better for you soon.

[YoshimiB]

So sorry MrsGiraffe. Please don't feel guilty for feeling sad. Much as you might want to make your son's life perfect something sad has happened and its not your fault that you are struggling to be the happy mum you were before.

I think its a really good idea to see your GP. I struggled for a while earlier this year after MC and spoke to my GP. She reassured me that my feelings were entirely proportionate which helped me not to feel like a failure at coping - and I got some really good help.

I don't know if this is relevant but i realised that although DH didnt understand my feelings or feel the same, which is what I really wanted, he did care and I wasn't alone. Feeling alone is horrible.

Sorry for long message.Just wanted you to know its possible to come back from feeling helpless and hopeless. The EDD from my first MC is on Christmas Eve and a Christmas baby was briefly a beautiful idea. I hope that things get better for you soon. xx

[WibWoo]

MrsGiraffe I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. I just wanted you to know you aren't alone. I relate to everything you have said in your post from the broken heart to wanting to shout out to the work that your precious baby has died and life will never be the same. I also have a son who asks about brothers and sisters and a load of pregnant friends suggesting I should give him a sibling. I want nothing more. I hope you find a way through the grief. Unfortunately I don't have helpful ideas on this because I feel as though I am drowning in it a bit too but I hope it's helpful to know that your hurt and your baby really matter here.