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I'm not sure if this is the right place to post but id appreciate some hand holding.

(6 Posts)
FlipFlippingFlippers Mon 30-Sep-13 14:45:25

Last year I had a miscarriage and it affected me very deeply. My dh didn't want any other children (we have 3) but I always knew I wanted one more. After being apprehensive at first (it was a complete surprise) we started to get excited and took a day out together looking at baby stuff. The very next day I miscarried. It was devastating. I was 8 weeks along and my world fell apart. I had very bad depression for a couple of months but things eventually got a bit better.

Anyway I'm currently 11 days late and ive had 2 negative pregnancy tests. It's brought the loss flooding back and I'm crying all the time. I'm never usually more than a day or 2 late so I've no idea what the problem could be. It's made me realise that I really do want another. Dh is relieved at the negative tests (not in a heartless way he's just being honest) but I can't stop thinking about the baby we lost. It feels like I'm experiencing it all over again. Also I can't stop hoping that I still might be pregnant (setting myself up for a fall)

XanetiaOfTheDelphae Mon 30-Sep-13 19:54:15

Hello Flip, I've no experience of pregnancy myself but just wanted to let you know you're not alone here and that I'm very sorry for your mc last year. It's not surprising that your recent lateness has brought all these feelings back so please don't feel 'wrong' (for want of a better word) for having these feelings - it's perfectly natural. Hopefully someone more useful than me will be along soon.

LadyGooGoo Mon 30-Sep-13 20:02:35

Hi Flip, I nada miscarriage last year and was upset but coped well....until the due date arrived and I was 16 days late. I was convinced it was fate so was absolutely devastated when my period arrived....6 months on, I'm pregnant unexpectedly and over the moon...dh was relieved after the miscarriage but this time he has taken it well and is completely supportive.
Rambling response I know but just wanted to let you know that you're not alone and grief takes such a very long time to heal...(((( hugs)))) to you

HeartsTrumpDiamonds Mon 30-Sep-13 20:08:12

Flip I'm sorry for your loss last year and it is completely understandable how you are feeling now. Please be kind to yourself. Is your DH able to be supportive even though you disagree about another child? More (((hugs))) for you x

Bakingtins Mon 30-Sep-13 20:32:20

Hi Flip grief is a funny thing, you think you are over the loss then something triggers off those feelings again. I think it's very common to feel a real need for another baby to somehow put right or make sense of the loss, even if the lost pregnancy was unplanned. I'm not surprised your heart aches for another, even if your head agrees with your husband. Hopefully each time the grief is triggered it is shorter lived and less acute.
I hope the late situation resolves itself very soon either way and you are able to get back on an even keel.

MabelMay Tue 01-Oct-13 03:55:59

flippers holding your hand and totally understand as am experiencing similar. two MCs this year (two kids already, didn't know how much i wanted another until I miscarried). Only 1 day late but convinced myself was pregnant due to lots of symptoms - took test this afternoon and came out negative and I just collapsed in tears. Hadn't realised how much I needed this to be a pregnancy to help me get over the MCs. All that grief came spilling back. So I know what you're going through. If you still haven't had your period soon maybe get a blood test done - just to be sure....? I'm now obsessed with idea of 'false negatives'.... desperately clinging on to hope. Take care.

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