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Does anyone feel like another baby is the only way to heal the pain ?

(32 Posts)
jnl0612 Sat 28-Sep-13 20:57:23

I mmc at 16 weeks in May, I'm lucky enough to have 2dd's but I feel like the pain will not go away until I'm pregnant again. Does anyone else feel this way or am I just going crazy ? It's devastated me more than I ever imagined.

NutcrackerFairy Tue 08-Oct-13 13:54:45

Those of you who managed to get pregnant again so soon after your mc, do you mind if I ask how old you were when you conceived the second time?

It's just that I am now 40 and panicking a bit about it... so on second thoughts if you are 25 perhaps don't tell me smile

So sorry for your earlier losses too flowers

Makqueen2 Tue 08-Oct-13 14:03:02

Nutcracker, I am 33.

One of ds friends mums confided in me after I'd had my mc that she had had two mc after her ds (11), she is a few weeks behind me now, 13 weeks and she is 42.

Makqueen2 Tue 08-Oct-13 14:04:00

(She confided in me as she had had a mc a couple of months before me and the other one was at the end of last year).

Chacha23 Tue 08-Oct-13 15:51:00

Nutcracker, I am 30. I think in a weird way, my MC helped me get pregnant again quickly, because at least I knew I was fertile and it could happen, if you know what I mean? So I was less stressed about ttc, and it happened faster than the first time we tried.

LittleTulip Tue 08-Oct-13 15:58:04

Yes I feel like I'm desperate for a baby :-(
I lost my little boy at 25+5 6 weeks ago today and it's all I can think about.

I'm 30 but it took us 18 months to get pregnant. I suppose at least this time round I know that we are able to conceive! Doesn't make it less stressful though..

Chacha23 Tue 08-Oct-13 16:04:58

oh, something else I wanted to say: when I was having my erpc, the surgeon told me I should wait at least 6 months before trying again, so I could heal psychologically. That was SUCH rubbish, if anyone tells you that don't listen to them. I knew I wanted to ttc straight away, and I'm so glad I didn't wait.

so sorry for everyone's losses. ((hugs))

tsw Thu 14-Nov-13 15:10:05

I think this is entirely natural. Your arms yearn for that baby you had been promised but had so cruelly taken away from you.

Some ladies are too afraid to try in case it happens again but from my experience most are desperate to fill that void. It is very difficult to explain what that feeling is & to explain that it is not an attempt at replacing your lost child.

Currently, I am 20 weeks pregnant after getting pregnant 1st time after receiving our post mortem results for my son who I lost in March at 38 weeks. I researched everything under the sun before I found out I was pregnant again & googled all day every day all that I could. I scared myself silly most days, to be honest. I had given up hope the month we conceived as we only had one shot at it & I cried for days that I had wasted a cycle - that was how desperate I was for my baby! I do believe that the way in which I convinced myself my hope was lost left me the opportunity to relax in a strange way as I was 100% sure I wouldn't be successful that month. They do say relaxing is the best way to get pregnant. smile

For those asking, I was 26 when I was pregnant with my 1st & 27 when I found out I was expecting with my current pregnancy.

It is a horrible experience & I have to say pregnancy isn't much better with the worrying about every twinge. We all just have to be strong & try to get past this awful experience & that hope that we will be sat holding a baby once again is what helps us all through this.

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