My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum.

Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Sad

14 replies

Ilovemypajamas · 30/08/2013 17:46

Shamelessly looking for some handholding.

Today is the due date of the baby I miscarried in Feb at 11 weeks. It is also the day I should be 12-weeks with the baby I miscarried last month. Instead I started my post-mc nice and heavy AF.

Sad. :-(
TFIF

OP posts:
Report
thistlelicker · 30/08/2013 17:48

Holding your hand xxxxThanks

Report
kotinka · 30/08/2013 17:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pawprint · 30/08/2013 18:11

So sorry, I know that sadness too xxx

Report
BlueSkyandRain · 30/08/2013 18:21

I'm sorry :(. I mc earlier this week, following the stillbirth of my son 5months ago. It's shit. Here: Wine and a hand x

Report
kotinka · 30/08/2013 18:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlueSkyandRain · 30/08/2013 18:54

I'm kind of ok about the mc itself at the mo, was v early and I hadn't got my hopes up that far - it didn't feel like things were right. And it all happened as easily as these things can, didn't need any intervention or anything. But i would've had that one around a year after I lost my ds, which would've helped in a way with that loss. So it's opened up my grief again, I hadn't realised how much I was pinning my hopes on getting pg again.
Thanks for asking though kotinka. Are you a lot further down this road then?

Report
kotinka · 30/08/2013 19:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ilovemypajamas · 30/08/2013 19:01

Thanks all for the handholding, Flowers, and support. Flowers to those in similar situations. Sorry Blue in particular - its painful enough at 6 and 11 weeks let alone later.

I've been fairly good up until now but today has hit pretty hard - I had a little silent weep on the bus (v. embarrassing). I've decided to embrace the sadness as have been slightly concerned I was being a bit emotionally avoidant and/or heartless. So have cracked open a bottle of wine and may even put on OBEM.

I just miss 'him' (don't get me started on the guilt I feel about feeling more emotionally attached to the first than the second). I'm not a mum but as soon as I knew I was pregnant I just loved 'him' in this primal, maternal way and now I just feel bereft and left with nowhere for that to go and the worry that it might be my only taste of it. Oh, and guilt because actually I'm very lucky and fortunate and other people have it worse (bereavement, illness, trauma, war etc). Anyone else fancy a bit of a 'pity party'? Feel free to join in rather than just provide support! Wine

OP posts:
Report
Bakingtins · 30/08/2013 19:33

I'm sorry PJs
Next week is first anniversary of MC2 for me, swiftly followed by due date of MC3.
It's particularly tough when you'd hoped to be pregnant again and putting things right and that has gone wrong too. There is something about a first miscarriage that just destroys your innocence about pregnancy, you can't ever fully commit to a baby from the moment you know you are pregnant again. You didn't love the second baby any less, you are just cushioning the blow a little.
I have a little tradition of buying a charity baby gift on the EDD, figuring if I can't bring my baby safely into the world maybe I can help another one somewhere.
Flowers

Report
Ilovemypajamas · 31/08/2013 08:35

Hey tins. Thanks for your support. I'm feeling better today and reassurance about the guilt. I hope your EDD and anniversary pass as painlessly as possible. I like the idea of buying a charity gift. I might look in to something similar. Flowers.

OP posts:
Report
BlueSkyandRain · 31/08/2013 17:15

pajamas glad you're feeling a bit better. Don't let yourself feel guilty - I obviously feel totally differently about my two losses. But if this one had lived I have no doubt I'd have loved them just as much as my son, and my other dcs.
tins I love that baby charity idea I'm going to nick it for commemorating my son's birthday each year.

Report
Zumbasmyfave · 31/08/2013 18:47

Holding your hand OP. And everyone else who knows what it feels like to physically feel your heart break.
Lots of love and Wine Cake
xxxx

Report
WibWoo · 01/09/2013 05:09

I'm so sorry you are going through this. It must be incredibly painful. So sad for your loses. Sending you love, hugs and happiness for the future.

Report
WibWoo · 01/09/2013 05:10

I'm so sorry you are going through this. It must be incredibly painful. So sad for your loses. Sending you love, hugs and happiness for the future.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.