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(15 Posts)
Ilovemypajamas Fri 30-Aug-13 17:46:23

Shamelessly looking for some handholding.

Today is the due date of the baby I miscarried in Feb at 11 weeks. It is also the day I should be 12-weeks with the baby I miscarried last month. Instead I started my post-mc nice and heavy AF.

Sad. :-(

thistlelicker Fri 30-Aug-13 17:48:59

Holding your hand xxxxthanks

kotinka Fri 30-Aug-13 17:52:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pawprint Fri 30-Aug-13 18:11:07

So sorry, I know that sadness too xxx

BlueSkyandRain Fri 30-Aug-13 18:21:31

I'm sorry sad. I mc earlier this week, following the stillbirth of my son 5months ago. It's shit. Here: wine and a hand x

kotinka Fri 30-Aug-13 18:39:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlueSkyandRain Fri 30-Aug-13 18:54:21

I'm kind of ok about the mc itself at the mo, was v early and I hadn't got my hopes up that far - it didn't feel like things were right. And it all happened as easily as these things can, didn't need any intervention or anything. But i would've had that one around a year after I lost my ds, which would've helped in a way with that loss. So it's opened up my grief again, I hadn't realised how much I was pinning my hopes on getting pg again.
Thanks for asking though kotinka. Are you a lot further down this road then?

kotinka Fri 30-Aug-13 19:00:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ilovemypajamas Fri 30-Aug-13 19:01:23

Thanks all for the handholding, flowers, and support. flowers to those in similar situations. Sorry Blue in particular - its painful enough at 6 and 11 weeks let alone later.

I've been fairly good up until now but today has hit pretty hard - I had a little silent weep on the bus (v. embarrassing). I've decided to embrace the sadness as have been slightly concerned I was being a bit emotionally avoidant and/or heartless. So have cracked open a bottle of wine and may even put on OBEM.

I just miss 'him' (don't get me started on the guilt I feel about feeling more emotionally attached to the first than the second). I'm not a mum but as soon as I knew I was pregnant I just loved 'him' in this primal, maternal way and now I just feel bereft and left with nowhere for that to go and the worry that it might be my only taste of it. Oh, and guilt because actually I'm very lucky and fortunate and other people have it worse (bereavement, illness, trauma, war etc). Anyone else fancy a bit of a 'pity party'? Feel free to join in rather than just provide support! wine

Bakingtins Fri 30-Aug-13 19:33:33

I'm sorry PJs
Next week is first anniversary of MC2 for me, swiftly followed by due date of MC3.
It's particularly tough when you'd hoped to be pregnant again and putting things right and that has gone wrong too. There is something about a first miscarriage that just destroys your innocence about pregnancy, you can't ever fully commit to a baby from the moment you know you are pregnant again. You didn't love the second baby any less, you are just cushioning the blow a little.
I have a little tradition of buying a charity baby gift on the EDD, figuring if I can't bring my baby safely into the world maybe I can help another one somewhere.

Ilovemypajamas Sat 31-Aug-13 08:35:52

Hey tins. Thanks for your support. I'm feeling better today and reassurance about the guilt. I hope your EDD and anniversary pass as painlessly as possible. I like the idea of buying a charity gift. I might look in to something similar. flowers.

BlueSkyandRain Sat 31-Aug-13 17:15:58

pajamas glad you're feeling a bit better. Don't let yourself feel guilty - I obviously feel totally differently about my two losses. But if this one had lived I have no doubt I'd have loved them just as much as my son, and my other dcs.
tins I love that baby charity idea I'm going to nick it for commemorating my son's birthday each year.

Zumbasmyfave Sat 31-Aug-13 18:47:14

Holding your hand OP. And everyone else who knows what it feels like to physically feel your heart break.
Lots of love and wine cake

WibWoo Sun 01-Sep-13 05:09:15

I'm so sorry you are going through this. It must be incredibly painful. So sad for your loses. Sending you love, hugs and happiness for the future.

WibWoo Sun 01-Sep-13 05:10:53

I'm so sorry you are going through this. It must be incredibly painful. So sad for your loses. Sending you love, hugs and happiness for the future.

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