Would just like to get this off my chest.

[somethingcool]

So I had my second miscarriage about 3 months ago. I guess I was more prepared for it after the first and after the initial trauma got back to 'normal' fairly quickly, work were very good and I distracted myself by getting back into it.

6 weeks ago my best friend had a beautiful baby girl, I'm so happy for her and it's wonderful, but I was really apprehensive about seeing them. I put it off for a month - which I feel terrible about. I was worried about how I would feel, selfish really.
In the end when I went it was odd, I felt nothing. Baby was asleep in a sling most of the time so I didn't have to hold her but I didn't really want to, I thought I would, just felt really empty about the whole thing.

I have started to feel like I don't want to get pregnant anymore, but it might just be denial? Last week me and DH got a bit drunk and carried away 'forgetting' the condom, now I'm terrified, feeling like an idiot.
I really wanted to give it some more time and now I am hoping for and dreading my period arriving equally.

Thanks for reading, just wanted to get these thoughts out of my head, now I'm going to bed.

[bellasuewow]

Give yourself a break you are not selfish I was angry and wanted nothing to do with babies after my second mc you are normal, it is tough loss to deal with no doubt. You sound intelligent and nice not selfish.

[Positivementakattitude]

Same dilemma best friends since went to school had baby a week ago completely making excuses to not make it feel so awful was first to hold her first my god daughter ! Just can't bare thought of it ill either break down or not want to let go or not feel anything

Fear is an awful thing and subconsciously we try and build a barrier hope you feeling better after sleep xxxx

Big hugs x

[Bakingtins]

It's very sad when potentially being pregnant is more scary than exciting. I've had 4 MC and still haven't made a decision whether I can bear to TTC again, I still want a baby but I do not want to make myself vulnerable to another MC. I'm sure if you are pregnant then you will cope, but if AF arrives, it probably just means you are not ready to make the leap again just yet. Fingers crossed for a good outcome for you either way...

[fackinell]

Cool, I had a mc last summer and I have been feeling exactly the same way. Some months I actively avoid the fertile period so I don't think it's strange at all.

It's a traumatic time and not just a physical trauma but an emotional and mental one too. Give yourself time to recover, good luck when and if you decide to have another try.

[Kasterborous]

I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this, miscarriage is a horrible thing and I don't think you ever get over it, but learn to live with it. We had six miscarriages before we had our DD last March, when I found out I was pregnant again with her I spent three days crying, just waiting for the inevitable to happen. But it didn't. I didn't totally relax until I was holding our DD in my arms. Good things can happen, though it won't feel like it now.

If I can help you in anyway please feel free to pm me.

Only you and DH know how much you can take.

I wish you the very best of luck for the future.