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Sad to be joining you all

(59 Posts)
Souredstoneshasasouredpebble Tue 06-Aug-13 16:26:13

Found out today that my baby stopped developing a week ago at 8 weeks and that it no longer has a heart beat.

I've rung the ward to say I've decided on the surgical management option to get things 'over' but at 3:50 apparently the clerk had gone home and no one could make a note of it so I have to call In again tomorrow.

I have had heavy bleeding for a while now but a scan confirmed I've not passed any of the pregnancy.

How will I know if I have?

What am I to expect for the near future other than a lot of tears?

Zumbasmyfave Sat 17-Aug-13 09:10:09

Hi soured
I was so sorry to read what of you are going through. You must feel numb about the news of not needing the op.. I hope that knowing that will allow you & your dh to start healing.

I went for my dating scan on Thursday for my 1st pregnancy and to my utter shock & horror there was no heartbeat & the baby had stopped growing at 8 1/2 weeks. Me & dh are devastated & can't imagine feeling normal again.

I hope that you & ur dh are able to make some positive plans for the future & look forward to something nice. I know this has turned your whole world upside down & it's grieving for what will not be as well as what you've lost. Look after yourself.

Hugs xxx

JBrd Thu 29-Aug-13 08:26:16

Soured, how are you? Hope you're managing...

I'm ok, didn't have to go for the medical management in the end, the first round of drugs was enough. Passed the sac last Thursday, which was the day I was scheduled to go into the hospital for the next round of induction. They confirmed it was the sac and sent me straight home again, I was so relieved I didn't have to stay.

Still off work, I managed to pick up an infection and am now on antibiotics - they do work, but make me so tired. Hoping to go back to normal soon...

Fancies40Winks Thu 29-Aug-13 09:10:41

Hey JBrd. Sorry the infection is adding insult to injury. I went back to work last week and it was surprisingly hard keeping up a normal front.

If my pregnancy had worked my 12 week scan would have been yesterday. I ought to be making all the happy phone calls today.

JBrd Thu 29-Aug-13 10:10:43

Hi Fancies, my 12-week scan would've been next week... It's so sad and unfair.

I think I'm almost scared to go back to work, after having lived in a bit of a bubble for the last few weeks. Yes, I had a lot to deal with, but once the mc had taken place, I've been pushing everything away a bit. But have to go back to a 'normal' life some time.

Hope that you can manage with your grief. This may sound patronising, but from experience I know that you do learn to live with it. There will be set backs, no doubt, esp when someone announces their own pregnancy or someone has a baby. Just take one day at a time.

Souredstones Sun 01-Sep-13 15:49:42

Hi ladies, how are you? My scan should have been Thursday just gone and I had to get out the house to take my mind off it. Like fancies all I could think about was "we should have been telling everyone today" it's crap.

So sorry to hear of your infection jbrd that's the last thing you need!!

My sick note runs out tomorrow and should be going back then but spoke to my boss yesterday and due to the nature of my job she wants me to go to the GP and get either signed off again or signed to a phased return as its such an emotional job she's worried it will make me ill in the long run so doesn't want to risk it. I need to talk it through with the GP really.

Urgh. It's all a bit crap really.

Fancies40Winks Sun 01-Sep-13 17:35:54

I'm doing ok soured. I've been a bit under the weather recently, I was dry heaving in the toilets yesterday morning and my breasts have started to ache already so I think my period is coming soon amd am trying to not think I might be pregnant again already - it's highly unlikely.

What is it you do? The first few days back were hard and I was shattered but now I'm glad I went back and got things edging back towards normal.

Souredstones Mon 02-Sep-13 09:19:53

Oh no! I hate dry heaving!!

My job is basically listening to people's problems all day and then trying to solve them for them. It's a great job but high stress.

I've been signed off for another week with instructions to go back next week to be signed onto a phased return to work, my GP has also referred me onto counselling.

JBrd Mon 02-Sep-13 15:53:41

fancies That doesn't sound good! Do you normally have this when AF is coming? Or is there a chance you could be pg again (or more bluntly: do you want to be)? It's not unheard of...

soured I'm glad that your boss and GP are so understanding and forthcoming to give you another week off and then a phased return. I just had two weeks off for my miscarriage, and even though I thought I could have gone back after the first, in hindsight I'm really glad that I took them both. Today is my first day back, and I'm struggling more than I expected - not physically, but emotionally.
And I have a bone-dry office job, I can't begin to imagine what it would be like having to deal with other people's problems shock I'd probably bite their head off, to be honest, as my tolerance threshold currently appears to be zero (as poor DH and DS had to find out recently). Really can't deal with anything remotely complicated at the moment.

Take as much time as you can get and do nice things for yourself! I treated myself to a massage and a pedicure while off for the mc, and it was heavenly. Miscarriages really take it out of you, on every level. Every little helps.

Fancies40Winks Mon 02-Sep-13 19:28:47

I do sometimes get a bit queasy before af but not normally that bad. I have had sex a few times so its not impossible. I would love to be pregnant again but don't want to get my hopes up! (So I'm not letting myself think that the big streak of brown blood I had a couple of days ago could be an implantation bleed. Because I'll just be disappointed.)

I have been dealing with people neglecting their children today. I was red hot with rage.

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