I am 47 and Tuesday night I miscarried (9+3, although may have been 4 weeks further according to examination from midwife and according to my DH's memory of my LMP). I started spotting early Wednesday, after a bout of constipation, so assumed I had burst a blood vessel in my cervix. Or rather hoped I had. I booked in for a scan at EPU 'just in case'.
Late afternoon I started to bleed heavily. Had 3 largish clots that I thought might have been blood pooling and clotting as I was lying down. About 11pm, I had a flood, but by 2am, everything had calmed down. Bleeding was lighter and my mild abdomen cramping became occasional rather than continuous.
Went to hospital with a heavy heart, hoping but knowing that it probably wasn't meant to be. The vaginal scan confirmed that I had suffered a complete miscarriage. I had a pregnancy test which was faintly positive and have to return for another blood test tomorrow to ensure my levels are dropping.
I am in bed and shattered mentally and physically. I still have stomach ache cut cannot bear to even touch my tummy, cos last time I did there was a baby in there. The thought of touching where there was once a bump is just too painful.
My daughter is in bits, my son does not seem to have digested it and my husband, although I know he is hurting, is just getting on with it. Have texted family and good friends that knew but I know that people will be thinking we were too old anyway. The odds against getting pregnant in the first place were stacked against us. We weren't actively trying. It was a huge surprise and I thought I was starting the menopause. But we all loved this baby and what a huge shock. No warning, nothing.
I have told everyone I can't talk so they have left me after the initial 'Sorry' texts. How do I and my family recover from this, especially knowing that this truly was the last chance? My daughter had already put due date on her calendar and our plum was due the day before my Birthday, so I will never forget. I don't know how to cope and how to support my family. Please help.
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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss
Devastated
5 replies
cerysmax · 17/05/2013 10:34
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