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Things that they don't tell you....

(4 Posts)
cathpip Wed 15-May-13 09:14:37

I sadly suffered my first miscarriage over the weekend, this would of been dc no3 for myself and my husband. I started bleeding on sat night and after a trip to the drs where a test showed I was still positive, I was booked in for a scan on the Sunday. I started bleeding more with clots overnight so knew that baby was gone, at the hospital the mw's were lovely, but still trying to reassure me even when the internal scan showed a sac and no baby. Telling me that I must have my dates wrong and that a follow up scan a week later would prove that I had miscarried, pregnancy test still showing positive. At no point did they believe me when I said I knew exactly how pregnant I was (7+2 and that a baby would of been visible) or did they tell me how a natural miscarriage would work. If it had not of been for a very close friend and google I would of been panicking, the cramping pains were very similar to contractions but with no break, the bleeding was as heavy as after I had had my children. I am so cross and upset with the mw's for not explaining what could happen, if I had not had any children, the blood loss alone would of terrified me. Apparently I need blood tests,2 a week apart to check my hormone levels are going down, have not had these mentioned at all! I am armed ready for my second scan on Sunday, I have passed the sac and bleeding is much lighter, i say it again it should not have been a friend and google who had to explain miscarriage and what happens to you. Sorry needed to vent, and please feel free to correct or add info for any lady going through a miscarriage. Xxxx (excuse the grammar, am utterly shit at itsmile)

vladthedisorganised Wed 15-May-13 09:23:18

I feel for you. I had an MMC over a month ago and I've had to be really pushy to get any checks done afterwards. It was first picked up at the 12 week scan; and at no point was I offered:
1) a follow-up scan - had to arrange this via my GP
2) blood tests or any further checks after my ERPC; apparently I need to wait two weeks and then go back to my GP "if there are any problems or excessive bleeding" after that - GP would then need to refer me to the EPU, who would then decide whether to give me a further scan and I would then potentially have to be booked in for another ERPC. It all seems really disjointed to me and I feel like I'm facing a miscarriage lasting upwards of four months.

I put a lot down to the fact that maternity services have really been slashed: no single unit has any oversight of aftercare and all units seem to be really overstretched. I started another thread on this yesterday as some of the consequences can be upsetting.

squizita Wed 15-May-13 11:59:15

Hi

So sorry for your loss. It sounds like communication has been a terrible communication issue here and you should feed back through PALS or even direct the the centre management. How awful!! sad

But a word of warning: BEWARE of Dr Google + MC. I have health anxiety and 3 MCs. With my first, very 'wise sounding' and 'official' websites were telling me what 'should happen', I lapped it up then found that in my case symptoms (and thus treatment) was different. I now only trust miscarriage association and the Royal College as they're the official NHS/National people. Every MC is different - your hospital sound like they communicate disgracefully however I have NEVER had bloods 2 weeks apart for any of mine and my EPU is actually excellent (several were trained by Prof Regan of St Mary's), this was because they ruled out molar/ectopic, follow up scans showed no retained products etc' - other MCs, the fall of bloods over 48hr was very conclusive. If in doubt ring the miscarriage association helpline they 100000% know their stuff! They have helped me SO much I cannot fault them.

Bakingtins Wed 15-May-13 13:12:25

HI Cath I'm sorry you lost your baby. It sounds like a horrible experience was made worse by poor communication. When you feel strong enough do complain to PALS, it's only by people offering constructive criticism and pointing out that offering people false hope is not helpful, that things may improve.
If you have a follow up scan and are given the all-clear (there is a maximum depth of endometrium they are happy to leave you with and will check there are no "retained products") then I doubt you need blood tests at all. I've had 3 natural miscarriages and it has varied whether I've had a scan afterwards. In 2 cases I was just told to do a home pregancy test after a fortnight and if it was negative not to worry - as it has taken 3 weeks in each case to get a negative I did have blood HCG checked.
I agree with squiz that the Miscarriage Association is the place to trust for factual information. I think boards like this are invaluable for a bit of emotional support, but bear in mind that each person and each miscarriage can be different.

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