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Shall we ttc now?

(10 Posts)
Jules2809 Thu 09-May-13 19:23:24

I had a miscarriage 11 days ago via medical management. The bleeding has almost stopped now. Just have slight brown discharge. My husband and I are late starters and was about to start ivf before we conceived naturally but lost the baby after 9 weeks. We only found out during the 12th week dating scan. We are now ready to start conceiving again. But the nurse told me that once the bleeding has stopped I should do a pregnancy test and tell the nurse of the result. I did one this morning and it is positive. Should we still have sex or should we wait a few days and do another test to make sure it is negative. We are keen to conceive. Any advice?

Bakingtins Thu 09-May-13 19:44:48

Hi Jules I'm so sorry you lost your baby, especially after a long journey TTC.
I doubt you will ovulate whilst you still have HCG in your system. The cycle after a MC is often longer/unpredictable as it will vary a bit when your system gets back into gear.
There are pros and cons to waiting for one proper period, which is the advice normally given by the medics. It makes a future pregnancy easier to date from LMP, some people find first AF after MC is v heavy and feel it's a 'clear out' of retained material, and wonder whether a new pregnancy would have implanted properly. Conversely, I know of many people who have got pregnant without a period and it's been ok.

Personally, we've never used contraception that post MC cycle, but not 'tried' as such either, and it has never resulted in a pregnancy. I have got pregnant first proper cycle after MC this time, but previously it has taken about 3 cycles to feel my body was back in rhythm.

There's a lovely supportive thread here for TTC after MC - come join us!

ChocolateCremeEggBag Fri 10-May-13 06:45:25

Hi Jules - seconding totally what tins has posted above.

However equally if you feel up to ttc-ing, then I would just go for it. You'll need to keep testing and may find you get BFp's for a while yet.
My first AF after mc came in 30 days so was pretty much as normal (but vv heavy) we did ttc before then, but only once bleeding totally stopped.
Going from my CM I think that I ov'd around 14 days after the mc started so would have been too late. Anyway, didn't stick that time, but I have read lots of cases on here of people getting BFP's straight away so it can happen

Do come over to the ttc after mc threads on Conception board. They helped me through the immediate days after mc and next few months hugely

I got my BFP on 3rd cycle post mc - which for our ttc after mc threads seems the average. Am now 8 weeks pg (same as last time) and waiting for early scan next week with trepidation)

Jules2809 Fri 10-May-13 16:29:15

Thank you so much for the advice. I have read the many threads about sex after miscarriage and it has been comforting to know that I am not alone. But I don't understand most of the abbreviations everyone uses in the messages like AF, BFP, DH etc.

This website and the forums are so useful.

ChocolateCremeEggBag Fri 10-May-13 19:07:05

AF = Auntie Flo or period
BFP = Big Fat Positive
DH = Dear Husband (DP = Dear Partner)

I am sure there is an accronym glossary somewhere on here

HPT = home preg test
POAS - pee on a stick
BFN - Big Fat negative
OPK - ovulation predictor Kit

petra27 Fri 10-May-13 19:22:55

I'm so sorry about your MC.

I've had 4 so I understand how devastating it is, especially when all seems well until the scan.

I have learnt two main things

1. Make the decision that feels right to myself and DH regardless of what anyone else says/thinks/advises.

Yes I listen to the docs when they give advice, but I don't necessarily follow it if I don't feel its right for me.

So for example, personally, I've always TTC in the cycle afterwards, The argument is that if you get preganant before you have had one proper period, it makes it hard for them to know how many weeks along you are, so you could have an early scan and think its bad news only to have another scan a week later and a heartbeat to have emerged, for example. This is why it is recommended to wait for a period first. For some people the idea of dating difficulties is a stress to far on them. For me I thought it was something I'd deal with if it arrived and it was still better for me to TTC right away.

I have learnt to make the decison I can best live with in the future, regardless of what anyone else thinks.

2. I'll never make a perfect decision. I have to accept that each decision I make is the best one I could make at the time. So later on I might think, I wish I'd done x instead of y, and I have to tell myself, at the time you decided to do x and that was the best decision you could make then. And not

As for TTC now, if I was you I would wait until I get a negative test before trying, it will probably only be a few days now, and you are unlikely to miss the TTC window in doing this as you won't ovulate with HCG in your system, but it will mean that if you do try you can take a PG test in a couple of weeks onwards and trust the result eg if you get a positive you will know for definite it is from the new pg and not leftover HCG as this would be difficult for me to cope with mentally.

(Also, if you are still getting a positive test 14 days after your MC, this could be a sign you might need a bit more help, so do contact the nurse again if this is the case).

Wishing you lots of luck on your TTC.

petra27 Fri 10-May-13 19:24:13

sorry paragraph 2 should finish 'and not beat myself up about it'

willitbe Fri 10-May-13 20:03:05

Hi, I just want to correct something Petra said. It is actually possible to ovulate with hcg in your system, it is unusual but not impossible. Often after a miscarriage, ovulation is delayed, but not necessarily.

I would resist dtd until you get a negative test, as it could be that you could have retained products. As long as you feel well, no temperature etc. then you could wait to see if it comes away with next af, or gradually re absorbs over that time.

Two out of my twelve miscarriages took 4 weeks for a negative tests, one of which I ovulated at 2 weeks post miscarriage, but did not get negative test til the day before af. I passed the sac two weeks after stopping bleeding, the day before the negative test.

I also conceived my last child straight after a miscarriage with no af in between. It was hard throughout the pregnancy to have the date of the miscarriage described as the LMP date for the dating of the pregnancy.

I have not waited for next af before trying again, but I have waited for both the bleeding to stop and getting a negative test. I had age against me too. I can understand the feeling of need to start trying again as soon as possible.

I hope you have a successful pregnancy really soon.

LittlePeaPod Sat 11-May-13 07:47:48

Hi Jules,

I am so sorry for your lose. flowers

I agree with what Baking said. On a personal note I had a mc early March this year. I felt like you and wanted to carry on ttc. We started as soon as my bleeding stopped following mc even though it still showed positive on test. My first period post mc in early April was heavy but it gave me a clear indication of my cycle. We fell pregnant second cycle in April. The doctor said only reason they like you to wait is it makes dating the pregnancy easier for MW/Doctor.

My thoughts are with you and you OH.

LittlePeaPod Sat 11-May-13 07:49:59

Hi Jukes- I forgot to say I am 37.

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