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In limbo :-(

(13 Posts)
NoahsmummyJul2012 Tue 07-May-13 20:18:02

I had my 12 week scan on Friday and was unfortunately found to have had a missed miscarriage. The sonograhpher said the sack was very small around 6-7 weeks and the placenta looked very abnormal and mentioned a partial moloar pregnancy but she could not diagnose it. We went to the EPU in the afternoon where they said it was very unlikely to be a molar pregnancy but they would check me carefully for it as it had been mentioned. My blood tests were good and not as high as they thought it would be for a molar pregnancy and I have to go back on Friday for a confirmation scan and further bloods on Friday and to be given my options.

There is no sign of me miscarrying naturally at the moment and I feel completely in limbo. I want the physical part of this to be over so I can start to move on with the emotional side. I sometimes forget about Friday as I still feel pregnant due to the hormones still being produced and everytime i remember my heart breaks a little. This is going to be very long week

THis would have been my second baby and I have a 10 month old who is helping me through it even if he doesnt know it. My DH is being great but shows his grief in a different way to me - I am very emotional and he just goes into practical mode. Sorry for the long post its just i am currently on maternity leave so am home alone and have a lot of time when my son naps to think about things and wanted to get it out x

Bakingtins Tue 07-May-13 20:24:07

Hi Noahsmummy I'm so sorry for your loss. It's completely devastating to get that far with no suspicion anything is wrong and then get that news. I'm sure you are still pretty shocked at the moment, it takes a while to process all the emotions that are thrown up.
I wanted to point you in the direction of the Miscarriage Association which has a lot of info on your options. It might be helpful to have thought it through before Friday. For what it's worth in your shoes I'd choose the ERPC, but it's very personal.

HorryIsUpduffed Tue 07-May-13 20:46:27

You poor thing. Our bodies can be such traitors.

The limbo doesn't last. Things will be over before too long, and you will be able to grieve and take the appropriate next steps for your family.

Do take care of yourself. I'm glad DS is helping you feel better. They're good at that.

Imnotaslimjim Tue 07-May-13 20:48:27

So sorry to hear you're going through this, its never easy

Personally i nyour situation, I would go for the ERPC. You could wait for it to happen naturally, and I don't know that it wouldn't eventually but from what I understand, it can take weeks

MrsJohnDeere Tue 07-May-13 21:00:54

So sorry you are going through this.

In your shoes I would (and did) have an ERPC and ask that the 'products of conception' (horrible, horrible phrase) are sent to Charing Cross (molar pregnancy centre) for analysis. That is the only way of knowing if this was a molar or partial molar pregnancy. HCG levels alone don't tell an accurate story. A lot of Obs/gynae consultants are ill-informed about molar pregnancies.

GuffSmuggler Tue 07-May-13 21:13:56

So sorry you are going through this noahsmummy. I also found out at 12 weeks I had a MMC and it was a terrible shock, the limbo phase is horrendous and I couldn't start to grieve until it was over to be honest.

I had an ERPC after a week and it was the best thing for me, I just couldn't have waited any longer but you need to do what is right for you. The ERPC was absolutely fine and I was in and out in half a day and I could then move on.

Take good care of yourself, miscarriage takes a terrible emotional and physical toll.

redwallday Tue 07-May-13 21:32:30

I've just been though the same situation. I had an ERPC almost two weeks ago at what would have been 14 weeks. The waiting is something I took great issue with as it just felt like torture. So much so that we ended up going private to get it over and done with sooner.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. My two kids are what has held me together and got me through. I've been holding them a heck of a lot tighter just recently and feel like I don't want to let them go! All I can say is time is a healer but I know from experience it's also a slow road to travel.

Stay strong. Xxx

squizita Wed 08-May-13 09:26:06

So sorry to hear this. I have recently been through similar. Something which may be of comfort is that a clinical increased risk of molar means it's not 0.6% it's 1%, so still VERY low risk in real-life terms. I chose ERPC as my body did not know it wasn't pregnant any more, I couldn't bear feeling pregnant and the idea of carrying the remains inside me just turned my stomach. Also they can then check for molar and put your mind at rest hopefully. flowers

hotcrosbum Wed 08-May-13 12:22:46

I have just been through this. I had four weeks between finding out my baby had died and miscarrying naturally last saturday, they were the four most horrendous weeks of my life, I honestly thought I was going crazy.

If I could go back in time I would have taken the surgical option asap and spared myself the heartache.

Surreylass37 Thu 09-May-13 07:39:22

Thank you all for your kind words of support (I have changed usernames from Noahsmummy as didn't think it appropriate for this board). I am sorry to hear of all your losses and thank you for sharing your experiences with me

My body is still showing no signs of doing this naturally so will be opting for the surgical option as I couldn't go through another week like this. Plus it hasn't been fair on Noah as I haven't felt confident in leaving the house and heis going stir crazy!

Thank you MrsJohnDere I will ask they be sent to charging cross, mind you it depends on the scan tomorrow because if the placenta has got even thicker I think they will insist I have an ERPC anyway so they can send them off


HorryIsUpduffed Thu 09-May-13 09:58:50

That sounds like a good plan.

You're still Noah's mother so please don't feel the need to hide that. There are women on this board at every stage - losing without children already, losing with children already, pregnant after loss, etc. What matters is the support we can give each other today.

Surreylass37 Thu 09-May-13 10:08:26

Thank you Horry. I wouldn't want to hide Noah at all as he has been my little rock though he does not have a clue that he is, he has no idea his little waves at everything he sees are helping me through a very tough time. I just didn't want to upset others at all. The support on this board has been invaluable and am sure it will be in the coming weeks too x

squizita Thu 09-May-13 10:09:22

Yes exactly Horry. In fact as a woman without kids and multiple MCs, I find it incredibly comforting when I know someone who sadly suffered a MC is a mum, both for their sake and rather selfishly because it's evidence of the fact the docs tell you to keep you going... the vast majority of women even those who MC can have a child!

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