MMC Oct 2012, due date fast approaching, feeling a bit glum(6 Posts)
Just wanted to vent really. Feel free to ignore. Sorry this will be long and dull.
My due date would have been next Sunday. Given I had Pre-eclampsia in both previous pregnancies I would probably have been induced and had the baby by now if this had been a viable pregnancy.
I want to get any glum feelings out of the way now. By some bizarre coincidence my due date was also ds1's birthday or my birthday and I don't want to be sad on that day.
I feel guilty being feeling like this because the pregnancy was a total accident and I wasn't exactly overjoyed when I found out.
The pregnancy was a molar one, and I am having chemo right now to kill off the stupid cancerous cells that it left behind. It seems to be working but I feel really shit and life since October has been generally shit. I just want to feel normal and human again. I'm not allowed to get pg for a year after I get the all clear, which will be June 2014 at the earliest (by which time I'll be 42). I don't think I could even go through the stress of another pregnancy, and I'm sad that I'll never have a dd.
Lots of typos . Had my first glass of wine in months.....
(((unMN-HUGS))) for MrsJD. Getting to your EDD without any silver lining is crap, isn't it. I MC in 2009 but by EDD (coincedentally on my birthday) I was pregnant again, MC in Sept 12 and have just been through EDD with only MC3 to show for it . It must be particularly hard to still be suffering the after effects of a molar pregnancy.
I've found it v therapeutic to do something positive to mark the EDD - I chose to buy a baby-related charity gift (safe delivery for a 3rd world baby) in honour of my lost LO. Does something like that appeal?
I hope you find some way to deal with the sad feelings and are able to enjoy the family celebrations at the weekend.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I too had a MMC in October, my due date is coming up on Friday, I'm already grumpy and down about it, have a very short fuse this week even though we are lucky to be expecting again. Luckily my hubby and my 2 close friends are fantastic and I can talk to them whenever.
I'm even more terrified of Friday approaching as we have our 12 week scan for this bean and I can't bare to hear the same news as last time, especially not on that day!
We are planning on releasing a balloon Friday in memory of our lost baby, one thing I'm not sure about is whether I am right in expecting family members to remember what Friday is?? I think certain family members should but my hubby says I'm asking too much?? What do you think?
I know it will be hard but try to enjoy your little ones birthday as that is such a joyous occasion but also take time out to remember your baby at some point on the day.
Also I imagine with you still having ongoing medical problems associated with your MC its just impossible to move on, I wish you all the best with your health and the future xx
I am so sorry for your lose. Understandably this will be a difficult time for you and to top it off you have to deal with the treatment. I am not very good at this but i couldnt read and run. I just wanted you to know that my thoughts are with you and your family.
Thank you everyone. It is good to 'talk' to people who understand.
I actually feel a lot better now for having got it off my chest.
I'm very lucky really. I have two
mostly lovely children and events of the last few months have made me realise how many fabulous friends I have in RL. I just need to focus on that.
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