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Disinterest in intimacy after late miscarriage?

(6 Posts)
Huffpot Sat 13-Apr-13 23:08:43

Hi.
I had a late MMC and delivered my sleeping angel nearly 6 weeks ago.
I have lost all interest in any form of intimacy and was wondering if anyone has experienced this and how you explained it to your OH's...am scared mine will take it personally...
Thanks in advance

mousebacon Sun 14-Apr-13 01:16:19

Hi huffpot, sorry for your loss.

It is still very early days for you and your partner and what you're experiencing is totally normal.

I found even putting make up on after my miscarriages felt like a betrayal.

Keep talking. Try not to hide everything away from him. Remember intimacy can be as simple as a hand to hold.

Lots of love x

Rosduk Sun 14-Apr-13 06:22:20

In nov I had a c section at 27 weeks and lost DS 2 hours later.
We still have not been intimate, I just don't want to, as mouse says it feels like a betrayal. I'm afraid I have no advice as I am in the same situation, I just can't seem to get my head around moving on like that but I am hoping time will heal especially if we make the effort to spend more time together.

I will say that I was scared of telling my DP but I explained that to me it doesn't feel right yet, that physically and mentally I don't feel ready. For what it's worth he was v understanding but I know that soon I need to physically make the effort, I keep thinking once we have been intimate maybe I've been working it all up in my head too much. One thing I will say, the longer you leave it the harder it gets.

I'm rambling now, hope you are ok, day to day life does get easier x

Huffpot Sun 14-Apr-13 09:04:27

Thank you both and I'm sorry for both your losses.
I was starting to think it was just me so good to know that its not.
I'll try and speak to him and I'm sure he'll be fine with it but am also scared that the longer I leave it the harder it will be.
Thanks for your words x

butterfly86 Sun 14-Apr-13 11:13:59

Hi so sorry for your loss, I've not experienced a late loss but I've had 4mc 2 of those mmc. I remember feeling like yoy do after the first loss it didn't feel right like the others have said like betrayal, this might seem really morbid so I apologise if it offends anyone but I almost felt like my womb was sort of like a grave my baby had been in there for weeks without a heartbeat and it felt wrong to disturb that even after I"d had the erpc. Eventually I was able to get over that enough to try because I missed the closeness you get, must admit though I cried my eyes out afterwards.
Hope it gets easier for you soon xx

Huffpot Sun 14-Apr-13 14:09:13

Thanks butterfly

I understand what you're saying. It was my first miscarriage and am still finding it hard that I can take pain killers other than neurofen or have a drink.

I'm not ready to try again yet so have gone onto the pill for when I feel ready to do anything.

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