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Knee jerk reaction or all in a good cause?

(5 Posts)
wattingerofdoom Wed 27-Mar-13 08:42:52

I am still a bit of a hormonal mess after miscarrying last week at nearly 8 weeks pregnant. I am really unhappy with the uncaring, insensitive and uniformative way the hospital dealt with this and I think it is making the whole experience a bit harder for me. I am going to write to the hospital to complain/comment on my treatment - among other things, the sonographer, who I later found out was actually a consultant, scanned me in silence before spinning the screen round and said 'there's nothing there, had you actually taken a pregnancy test?' This is how I found out that my baby whose heartbeat I'd seen on a scan a few days earlier had died.

Is it a bit of a knee jerk reaction to go REALLY public with all of this, or should I wait until I am feeling a bit better? I am thinking local paper, facebook, blogging, writing to my MP, the lot. Is it the grief talking and should I just stop at writing to the hospital? Or will it all be worth the attention if it means the hospital does something to stop the shoddy way they deal with miscarrying women?

squizita Wed 27-Mar-13 10:16:27

I had 2 very contrasting experiences via my hospital with my 2 MCs.

I would certainly compain to the hospital naming the sonographer and if not, giving appointment details. If you go to the miscarriage association website, they also have helpful ways of giving feedback.

An angry/generalised letter might not be the best way of getting the specific people in the wrong dealt with - and might be twisted by the press or scare a woman who has to go into hospital, so personally I would be very specific and factual in my complaints and send them very specifically to the 'right' people, and for the country-wide issue, the MC association advises how to contact press etc'.

MrsJohnDeere Wed 27-Mar-13 11:59:41

That does sound very insensitive. Poor you.

I too would start with a letter to the hospital, then see how things go from there.

Sorry you are going through this. flowers

wattingerofdoom Wed 27-Mar-13 15:26:09

Thank you for your replies.

I think I will start with the hospital and see what response I receive. I have already drafted quite a structured letter - I really don't want to come across as a ranting lunatic..... I noticed today that my MP has signed the motion in support of the MN miscarriage code of conduct, so think I will get in touch with her as well. I will try the miscarriage association too, thank you for that suggestion.

I am really up and down at the moment and thinking back over the events of last week still make me so angry, so I guess I won't be able to achieve anything constructive if I act too hastily while still in this state!

Bakingtins Wed 27-Mar-13 16:36:39

HI Wattinger I'm so sorry you lost your baby. It makes it even worse when staff are so insensitive.
I'd suggest writing it all down (therapeutic in itself) and then sitting on it for a while until the dust settles and see if you are still as upset. I think a very specific complaint to the hospital is a good idea, not sure if trying to get the media involved is such a great idea. There are probably more constructive ways to improve things for other women.

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