Advanced search

The pain doesn't go away, does it?

(11 Posts)
GinAndSlimlinePlease Mon 18-Mar-13 22:52:39

I had a miscarriage a month ago, and I'm back to normal activities.

But I'm really struggling with some aspects of real life. I keep thinking how many weeks I would be. I can't bear to talk to my sister who is was six weeks ahead of me so is now 18 weeks pregnant sad

this morning on the train two pregnant women were comparing bumps.

And I just feel this awful sense of emptiness. like nothing will make me happy again. sad

sorry for the sad postsad

NoMoreMarbles Mon 18-Mar-13 23:00:44

It becomes easier to cope with IME

I still feel pangs of why me and my last MC was over a year ago now...(I have had 9 altogether) it is so frigging hard but you will get through this are still grieving what you have is something that will never 100% leave you but you will start to notice times where you haven't thought of it for a while and it will still hurt when it pops into your mind unannounced but those thoughts will dwindle until there are more no MC thought moments than times when you dwell on itsad

There are ALOT of threads here full of posters who are or have been through the same and can offer a hand to hold/shoulder to cry on. It helped me to talk through how I felt from the start of the end to now when I am through the worst of the feelings and have some hope again (still TTC with earnest after 5.5 years)

Good luck and I'm here to talk if you need itsmile

HoleyGhost Mon 18-Mar-13 23:06:26

I also had a miscarriage a month ago and am finding it harder now than I did then. I am struggling to go through the motions of every day life. I expect it will get easier from here.

GinAndSlimlinePlease Mon 18-Mar-13 23:07:06

Oh I'm sorry. 9 miscarriages must be beyond awful.

I guess time will heal. And we got our letter today confirming we're getting two rounds of ivf. which is good progress. It's just a little part of me feels like such a failure.

GinAndSlimlinePlease Mon 18-Mar-13 23:08:22

holey, I think maybe that's it. I've thrown myself full back into work, but that leaves no proper time to grieve.

Bakingtins Tue 19-Mar-13 09:43:50

The pain does to a large extent fade away in time, it just takes a lot longer than most people expect. A month is still very recent. I found after my EDD for MC1 I was no longer thinking so much about the stage I would have been at. I do still sometimes think about how old my daughter would have been, more than 3 years on, but it had faded in to the background. 2 recent miscarriages have brought it all back and I now have 2 more EDDs to get through this year.
I don't think there are any short cuts to dealing with it, if you supress all the feelings they will come and bite you on the bum at some time, so whilst it helps to be busy do make some time to talk/grieve/cry if you need to.
Gin I hope the prospect of IVF gives you something positive to focus on.
No more I'm so sorry to hear how many times you've been through this, it is heartbreaking. I hope your persistence is soon rewarded.
Holey sorry for your loss too, hope you find things gradually get easier.

HoleyGhost Tue 19-Mar-13 18:37:37

Thank you for the kind wishes. I can't begin to imagine how hard it has been for you bakingtins and nomoremarbles.

pumpkinsweetie Tue 19-Mar-13 20:29:41

I had my first miscarriage exactly a month ago today and it still hurts as much now as then. The only thing that has changed is the ability to get on with things as usual on a day to day basis.
The emptiness is here, and i think its here to stay for now until i can at last complete my family.
I'm also going to find the edd extremely difficult and i will always remember my baby that never was. For now i feel incomplete, like part of a puzzle is missing.

Shellywelly1973 Thu 28-Mar-13 12:27:54

I had a mmc a almost 5 weeks ago & to be honest im finding it terribly difficult.

How do you deal with it?

What helps?

Ive done stuff like contact the MC Association. Make a folder up of all stuff to do with the pregnancy. Lit candles...

Dp is now annoyed at me & thinks i should stop thinking about it. I stopped talking to him about after about 2 weeks as he said i must be depressed& to go to the G.P. I went to the GP who really wasn't helpful, she suggested a day out!?

I feel like i've never felt before. The pain is awful. Each day is such an effort. I need to do something to help myself heal...

Any advice would be appreciated.

ThreeWheelsGood Fri 29-Mar-13 18:42:21

A month is nothing, you still need more time. I know you want to move on and get on with it. That's what I felt too. It only hit me once all the physical stuff was over, maybe two months after.

Try and get counselling, tell your GP how you're feeling and get referred. I know what you mean about seeing pregnant women everywhere and it getting you down, it's awful isn't it.

Iwaswatchingthat Fri 29-Mar-13 18:46:25

It is time which helps. My early mc baby would have been four in September. I still think things like "they would have been starting school this year". It is not as painful now by a long shot, but I have not forgotten.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: