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twins' hearts no longer beating, started medical management, what do i need for hospital?

(11 Posts)
Rebuslover Thu 07-Mar-13 10:03:49

hope this is okay to post this here, and hope its not a duplicate of another thread. i'm feeling quite lost at the moment and trying to be practical about things which is part of how i cope with things. it was confirmed that our 22 week twins' hearts were no longer beating yesterday after i felt no movement the day before and couldn't find heartbeats with my cheapo home doppler. i was given the first tablet and forewarned that things may progress before the allocated appointment to come in 48hrs late. no one i know has been through second trimester loss so i am really looking for advice and top tips of how to get though the next 24-48 hrs, what will i need to take with me when i go in? any recommendations greatly received

Bakingtins Thu 07-Mar-13 10:18:08

Rebus I am so so sorry. I have had medical managment for a first trimester loss and found it quite painful, so have some paracetamol/ibuprofen/codeine around, you will probably be able to have gas and air once you are in hospital if you need it. Take all the pain relief on offer.
Change for machine to buy TV time etc, trashy mags, kindle, ipod.
Some cheap comfy big knickers (that you can chuck away) and maxi/nighttime pads. An old or cheap Tshirt or nightie that again you can get rid of. Some comfy clothes to come home in.
Your own smellies.
The hospital will probably have some arrangements to take photos and footprints etc if you want them, but maybe take your own camera if you want photos of the babies.

Desperately sorry you are facing this. Thinking of you.

FashionFail Thu 07-Mar-13 10:22:46

(((hugs))) I am so sorry. No advice but thinking of you

Bakingtins Thu 07-Mar-13 10:25:36

I found some similar threads that might help sad

and here
and here
Maybe you could PM some of the other posters who have been through this for advice.

HumphreyCobbler Thu 07-Mar-13 10:26:45

I am so sorry.

I had a medical management at 21 weeks. I was offered, and took, serious pain relief that meant I felt no pain.

I really am so terribly sorry to hear this. You may wish to spend some time with your babies, I treasure the time I spent with mine. The hospital should take photos for you.

HumphreyCobbler Thu 07-Mar-13 10:27:10

If you want to pm me that would be fine.

BumpKitty Thu 07-Mar-13 10:28:30

I had medical management for a first trimester loss, I would say be prepared to be in hospital for a few days, I ended up being in for 3 days as the mm didn't work and I needed ERPC, as I wasn't prepared I didn't have my phone charger or enough clothes etc and I had to get things brought in. I would also recommend taking bottles of water as I was thirsty all the time and the nurses were too busy to bring me more.
I am so sorry you are going through this and I hope someone with more knowledge of second trimester loss comes along soon. I'llbe thinking of you x

Rebuslover Thu 07-Mar-13 10:52:25

Thank you all for your kind words and also for the recommendations. I'm off to get a bag sorted as it really hadn't dawned on me till this morning. Thoughts just keep revolving around the fear of what's to come and the profound sense of loss that we hadn't anticipated as we have been very cautious knowing they were id twins. Thank you for taking the time to share and for being kind x

ajandjjmum Thu 07-Mar-13 10:54:21

So sorry that you're having to go through this.

agirland2boys Thu 07-Mar-13 10:59:13

went through this at 24 weeks about 10 years ago - was offered morphine and took it - very glad i did - wasn't really all there for the whole thing - must have been tough on my husband, though - if they don't offer morphine, ask for it

cliche but true - this too shall pass, time heals (or makes less painful) all wounds

nectarini1983 Thu 07-Mar-13 12:23:47

Im so so sorry for what you're going through. I delivered my little boy at 17 weeks nearly two months ago.

The process of his birth wasnt at all as bad as I'd imagined. I didnt find it particularly painful, only moderate stomach cramping really, perhaps because ive already had two children but the hospital should offer you anything they can to help you. I had one dose of morphine to take the edge off what was happeninh. The true pain is the slow sad
acceptance of what you've lost.

In terms of practicalities. ..I opted to wear a hospital gown as I didn't want to associate any of my clothes with such a sad process. As others have said, pads, big pants and comfy clothes to come home in. Id also take plenty of tissues too as my hospital didn't seem to have many on hand.

I have footprints and handprints of my baby's that I keep in a special box with his scan photos and other momemtos.

Thinking of you in the difficult daus ahead. Just try to take one minute at a time then work up to days.....


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