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Any tips on positive things to do post mc

(6 Posts)
bzzbee Mon 21-Jan-13 09:44:31

We lost our baby last weeks at 11 weeks.
It's still very early days, but I am trying to look ahead and would appreciate any tips on things people have done (or not done) that have helped in a positive way.
For example, I was thinking of having some holistic type treatment this week whilst I am off work (reflexology perhaps). It's probably too soon for anything like yoga but maybe in a week or two (normally exercise really helps me mentally). Planning a family holiday, getting a long overdue haircut, all spring to mind as possible nice distractions. I've bought a sewing machine (to make baby things but now it is still in its box as it arrived the day we got the bad news sad ) so perhaps I can try and learn to use it.
Does anyone have any other advice? Most advice says to "look after yourself" but other than making sure I am eating ok and trying to get some sleep I'm not sure what else to do. I guess I'm not good at sitting around too long as it just means I have more time to think sad thoughts. I am off work all week thankfully so I'd like to use the time wisely.
If all this is silly and I should just kick back then please tell me that too, as I said it's very early days and this is a roller coaster.

Countmyblessings Mon 21-Jan-13 11:22:43

Bzz- so sorry for your loss I had a MMC at 13 weeks and it was hard for a while but day to day got easier it was sometimes the waves of emotions just hit me the 1st was when my AF returned reminding me I'm not having my baby!!!!
I got some books on how people moved on from child loss it was helpful as all what I was going through was in the pages! Even the part of not being able to talk to my DH as he just tried to help me through it by doing everything!!!!!!
I changed my bedroom,sorted out clothes for charity, keep a diary of my feelings so weeks after I could see I improved! Planned a get away for
Me and DH to reconnect it was great!
Had loads of dinner meet ups with my girls giving me the chance to put on some make up heels and feel good again!!!
I had a keepsake box with all baby bits in it!

Not all of the above may be your thing but it helped me through the early stages of my grief process!!
Also enjoy some good chocolate - take care as its still early days! Also don't rush to work if u don't have too! Time off to recharge!!

bzzbee Mon 21-Jan-13 11:28:17

Thanks Countmyblessings, a massive clear-out/charity shop run is on my list too, I had put off doing this (and buying new clothes) as I thought my next purchases would be maternity wear, but now I'm going to clear out and make some space for a few nice new things.

JBrd Mon 21-Jan-13 11:38:40

So sorry for your loss! I had an ERPC just over a week ago, and am also trying to get back on track. Feeling very tired and drained, and wobbly - so anything to cheer me up!
I've had a pedicure last week, and it was so lovely, I have booked a facial this week. I'm also planning to have a course of reflexology, I've had it before, and I love it.
I've been doing lots of reading (which I normally never have time for), but just easy-read books, pure escapism.
And as count has suggested, planning/going for dinners with friends and planning holidays/weekends away with DH.
And I love baking, so I have done quite a bit of that.

Anything to make you feel better, it is such an emotional roller coaster. Hope you're OK x

bzzbee Mon 21-Jan-13 11:45:46

Sorry to hear of both your losses Countmyblessings and JBrd sad

Thanks for the tips JBrd, I think I will book some reflexology too.
Normally I love massage but right now I don't feel like being poked around with too much (not after the hospital experience last week but that's for a separate thread).
When my dd comes home from nursery today we are going to do some baking too smile

I am definitely not ready for work/real world yet, I just got an email from my old boss at work expressing his sympathy, and burst into tears upon reading it.

Vic1587 Tue 22-Jan-13 22:52:57

Hi ladies.
I've suffered 3 losses myself, sorry to hear you have all been through such a horrid experience too.
My advice is to take the rough with the smooth, accept that some days you will feel better than others, and the days where you don't feel good...let the emotion out. Don't beat yourself up. My second MC I was really depressed, I was so low I wondered how I'd ever regain normality, gradually as time passed I gained more control over things. This last time I vowed not to allow myself to feel so low. When I have bad days, I accept I need time, I take control of myself and give myself time to feel sad if I need to. This time I have been much more positive.
It takes time, as the saying goes, give time, time.
Much love xx

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