Our beautiful little boy was born at 23 weeks in summer - too small to survive. It was an extremely distressing and sad time; and has been difficult since especially when friends and family announce pregnancies and new babies.
The postmortem showed our little boy was perfectly healthy, but that I have a clotting disorder - factor v Leiden. This is quite common but is associated with placenta abruption in the second semester. Because of this the consultant advised that I take aspirin and heparin injections if I was to get pregnant again.
In October I became pregnant - we were delighted but also very anxious. I started aspirin and heparin and had two scans which showed all was well. Two nights ago I suddenly felt light menstrual cramps while while watching tv; when I went to the bathroom I realised I had started bleeding heavily. I went straight into hospital where I spent a very upsetting and occasionnally very frightening 28 hours. I had never seen so much blood and huge clots in my life; and I found the experience of looking for our tiny baby in the bedpan for over 20 hours very distressing. I had a dreadful experience using the gas and air where I felt like I was trapped and one of the doctors was trying to harm me (she was actually trying to remove the placenta but it was partially still attached to the wall of the uterus so extremely painful). In the end I had a general anaesthetic to remove it...got home yesterday after a day and a half.
The nurse said it looked as if our second little baby was also a boy. I was 14 weeks pregnant. In total I have been pregnant for 37 weeks over the last year with no baby to show for it. The most upsetting thing is the loss of hope.. I know it is still early days but I'm not sure if I could cope with a third late miscarriage . And I will be 40 this year - our little baby was due before my birthday, so although I tried not to think ahead I often thought of what a wonderful birthday it would be when the little one arrived. I can't bear to think of any plans we had now. We have been looking to move house but no longer feel we should as we may not ever need the extra space..
We are fortunate to have a most fabulous little girl, healthy and full of joy. I can't imagine how hard miscarriage and recurrent miscarriage is for people who have not yet had a little one. I am grateful for her and she can help us from despairing too much.
But I feel very sad now, and the loss of hope is hard to come to terms with. Just felt the need to write this down today... Sorry for everyone on this section - I just can't believe I'm back here again too .
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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss
Devastated after second late miscarriage
35 replies
TaytoCrisp · 18/01/2013 09:20
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LunaticFringe ·
22/01/2013 16:49
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LunaticFringe ·
22/01/2013 17:53
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