Miscarried after seing heartbeat

[jools70]

My story -

DP & I tried to concieve for 9 years, tried IVF twice, first attempt preg with twins, lost one at 8 weeks the second at 18 weeks. Second IVF attempt failed.
Moved from London to Kent 2.5 months ago, found out I was pregnant on the 5th Nov, natural conception, complete shock!!!
Started bleeding 20th Nov, went for scan, saw heartbeat (6w). Carried in bleeding, 23rd passed sac, no blood, no pain. Had a further scan on Mon, nothing there.
I was prepared for the news.
This was our little miracle and although our precious little one did not survive it has give us hope.
My DP is 43, I'm 42, we have to carry on and not put pressure on ourselves, if it is meant to be it will happen again for us.
I hope that I have given hope to other ladies out there who had given up hope. I had, but now I know I can concieve naturally.

[monsterchild]

I feel for you. I had this same experience last year. at 7 weeks all was good, but by 8, nothing.

I am 41 and expecting again, so do know it could happen for you too! (I'm due in about 4 weeks, natural conception) And it took about 8 months of going at it hammer and tongs to conceive this one.

[fortyplus]

Heartbreaking for you both . I was just off to bed but couldn't leave your post unanswered. Good luck and I hope that things work out well for you next time x

[jools70]

monster are you serious?
That is fantastic.
Problem is I don't want to go back to being a period watcher, I hated that time in my life, montoring our activity (if you understand), after all these years we just enjoy life and although my family kept saying 'are you going to try again' I was at peace with not having a baby. This hit me like a bolt of lighting I got another test just to make sure!
How did you feel?

[jools70]

fortyplus thank you hun x

[monsterchild]

Oh I was pretty upset, as we'd had a blighted ovum the time before, and probably one chemical pregnancy too.

I didn't actually do any monitoring or period watching (ok, at first I did, but after about 4 months I sort of got bored and stopped worrying, I'm kind of easily distracted). I was also ok about not having a kidlet. I mean, not having kids meant we could travel, sleep in, drink wine when ever, and never ever have to change a diaper! yay!

I knew I was preggo within days of conception due to a bizarre confluence of events. And I was shit scared for the first trimester that he wouldn't keep. I stayed very aloof, and didn't tell anyone so's not to jinx anything.

Now I'm shit scared about the delivery! And about being a good mother. And all those diapers....

[monsterchild]

the fertility doc was very "well, decreased ovular function" and all that. We'd had tests, I didn't fit the IVF profile because I WAS getting pregnant, just not keeping them. So they said donor eggs and all that. But I felt we'd do better adopting or just being happy then gong through all that with someone else's less than perfect (because they are the eggs not picked for the donor's IVF) eggs, and have it possibly turn out with the same results.

Ironically, now that we've gotten pregnant, we have had to discuss what we're gong to do about protection after baby is born! I'll be 42 about the same time baby is born, but I know with my luck, I could get pregnant again!

(both my parents were late children (DF's dad was 42 and mom was 38 when he was born) And my DH's parents were both in their 40s when he was born!
And I have many relatives who had children well into their 40's so I can't be happy go lucky about this anymore!

[jools70]

I know exactly what you mean, we enjoy our life the way things are, I know that can sound selfish to some, but at the same time I always wanted to be a mum, that was until about a year ago.
I stopped worrying, hey presto. Its true what they say about stress and the effect it has on us.
Well I wish you the very best, its wonderful news and I know that motherhood will be good to you, you sound like you have it all sorted x

[monsterchild]

I know exactly what you mean about it feeling a bit selfish to like your life without kids. But I also wanted to have a kid. So we're getting our wish. (DH is very keen to be a Dad).

I think if you can not worry it will work out. A friend of mine had her oops baby at 46! She was shocked, but is happy. And her daughter is a delight, and doing well, applying for Uni now.