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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Did anyone find their early pregnancy unit to be an awful place!!

24 replies

Sunny08 · 03/08/2012 09:16

2 weeks ago I miscarried and due to strange blood tests have been back and forth to the EPU.
My latest visit included 6 women all waiting, obviously at various stages of loss. Firsty I went to the bathroom in which there were 7 various sample pots full with urine and blood sitting on the shelf in rows, I then went to sit in the waiting room.
The receptionist was so rude to me as I didn't know where I was supposed to go or if I was having scan, blood tests, etc, and said well I should of been more prepared (How I don't know I had just had a call from my Dr to tell me to go there at a certain time!)
One lady waiting was obviously much further on, waiting in a hospital gown for a procedure. A nurse came in to take her info and loud enough for the rest of us to hear discussed that this was her 4th miscarriage loss after IVF, she was 17 weeks etc, etc. this poor lady was obviously so distressed, my heart was breaking for her and was well aware everyone else could hear. Two other women were quietly crying and then another women came and sat down after a scan obviously elated that she had thought she had lost her baby but the scan proved otherwise and she was discreetly but very happily (who can blame her!) looking at her scan pictures.
To top it all off Ed Shearan's 'Small Bump' song was playing over the radio - I nearly walked out!!! I know the EPU's do a wonderful job by my goddness I really didn't feel women's emotional wellebing was taken into consideration!

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CMOTDibbler · 03/08/2012 09:20

Both that I went to were awful - no consideration at all for peoples feelings, or discretion.
I made a formal complaint after my third mc, which at least made me feel like I'd done something

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Sunny08 · 03/08/2012 11:40

It was how much they lacked confidentiality that got me and how rude and unfeeling they were. Do you think it because they see it everyday so maybe not a big deal to them - desensitised!!

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TaytoCrisp · 03/08/2012 14:46

I think the description you provide is really shocking. It seems very inappropriate to leave urine and blood samples in the public toilet; plus the lack of privacy for holding sensitive and distressing conversations is a cause for concern. I understand that there are problems with scarce resources in hospitals, but here are some things, like the circumstances that you describe, that can?t be excused.

I recently experienced a late miscarriage and received great support from the hospital team as well as my community midwife. Although i wanted to be out of the hospital as quick as possible, i felt very well cared for by all the staff and cannot see any parallel with your awful experience.

I am really very sorry to hear about your loss, but if you feel up to it, i would suggest you make a complaint. I think complaints are treated seriously; and it would be interesting to hear how the hospital management would view your experience.

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jens42 · 05/08/2012 17:33

I went into mine after miscarriage and lots blood loss, said please can I go into room and lie down while waiting to be seem because I think I am going to faint, she snorted and said under her breath but very audibly 'they all say that'! I then did faint so hope that shut her up! amazingly when getting wheeled out by my friend in a wheelchair leaving the hospital front desk reception staff said oh taking advantage of help while you can? you might as well you'll be run off your feet looking after your new baby when you get home. the care in there was fantastic, doctors and nurses amazing but desk staff were very tactless

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Littlemissimpatient · 08/08/2012 16:10

Yes my local hospital is dreadful. So rude and act like we are wasting their time even after 3 mc's. No empathy or sensitivity it's shocking. Sitting waiting to go for an erpc or a scan to confirm when baby stopped growing in same waiting area as couples getting 12 or 20 week scans Sad

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laurajane89 · 08/08/2012 16:16

My hospital was horrible, they werent sensitive at all and after staying in over night they scanned me at about 8am and said there was no time to call my partner so i had to have the scan on my own and then to be told there was no heartbeat i was heartbroken. They then said i could call my partner and put me in a room on my own to wait for him and gave me leaflets about miscarriages and d&c's. i have since put in a complaint about the way i was treated in such an upsetting situation.

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WillSantaBringaGoldMedal · 14/08/2012 20:38

Sorry to hear your experiences - how awful to have your awful situations made worse by people lacking in the most basic of human skills.

I was very fortunate (on my two visits so far). What you've experienced above sounds horrific, but perhaps try to turn it into a positive and, when you're feeling strong enough, write a detailed, polite but firm letter to the hospital setting out your complaint and attaching the mumsnet charter for this... then maybe, out of all the shit you're going through, some poor lady further down the line will get better treatment because of you, and that can only be a good thing?

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babyjames · 19/08/2012 12:25

I'm miscarrying now and am really worried about going to the EPU after reading this. I'm already a wreck. :( :( :(

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Jemimapuddleduk · 19/08/2012 17:12

babyjames, sorry to hear about your mc. It's a horrid thing to go through but it does get easier. Please don't worry about your Epu, mine (bolton royal) was fantastic (used it for 2 of my 3 mc's). They aren't all bad. The midwives and staff I saw at mine were genuinely kind, considerate and respectful. I hope you have a similar experience. X

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RileyLeeHargreaves2012 · 21/08/2012 19:26

I feel like they look down there nose at me as ive been there alot I've the past year. I always get confused of where to go and the length of time they make you wait is. Terrible! That's a horrid experience you've been through, really hope your alright!

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newtonupontheheath · 21/08/2012 21:04

First waiting room was just a "normal" waiting room. I didn't have heavy bleeding (just light spotting) so wasn't overly concerned)

The doctor was able to scan me in the same room, which I've heard is not the case everywhere so I guess we were lucky. They couldn't find a heartbeat and we were told we had to wait for a second opinion; second scan would take place in antenatal scanning dept. We were left for 3 hours in an unused office waiting for a gap to open up. We were told we could go home and return the following day, but just wanted to confirm what we already knew.

Once we were called downstairs, we had to wait with the pregnant ladies... But after we'd been scanned (and no hb confirmed) we were taken into a side room to wait for them to type something up. I'm assuming we could have gone straight in there but didn't have the energy to complain!

Luckily booked in for d&c the next day but at our hospital it is done on the day surgery ward. So spent all day sat in a waiting room on my own-DP wasn't allowed to wait as there weren't enough seats for everyone of every patient had a partner stay with them! Shocking really, as some people were having v minor surgery... And DP offered to stand up prior to being "removed" by the senior nurse who was in charge.

Before being discharged, nurse who was giving me some anti biotics and taking me through aftercare was v abrupt. I'd asked if I could bf with these abs and was effectively told that wasn't her concern. Lovely lady Hmm

So on the whole, v disjointed experience but no complaint as by the end of it you are so worn down there's no energy left for complaining. Sad

My heart goes out to those that have experienced this...especially a number of times.

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newtonupontheheath · 21/08/2012 21:08

Babyjames most of
The staff I met were lovely and really helpful. I think the set up is just not very coordinated in my hospital and the communication isn't good. There seems to be lots of long waits, but it just feels so much longer because of how horrible it all is.

It's such a sad time, I'm sorry thus is happening to you.

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Daisybell1 · 21/08/2012 22:13

I'm really saddened to hear your stories, I'm so sorry for your losses. It makes me even more grateful that the staff I saw were so compassionate. This was Lancaster RI.

I was the last patient to be seen in the epau's old location (in ante-natal), its now been moved upstairs to the gynecological ward. By coincidence the registrar who delivered dd gave us the bad news and it was comforting to have a familiar face there.

The staff were very compassionate during my erpc, I had a private room, and a trainee midwife to myself, so felt very cared for. In fact, I still have a crush on the anesthetist as he held my hand as I was going under and promised it would all be ok.

So the care is ok in some places...

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newtonupontheheath · 22/08/2012 12:57

Daisy My anaesthetist was lovely too (v good looking,helped me cheer up a tad!) Maybe it's a pre-requisite for the job?! Smile

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loopybear · 23/08/2012 18:47

My epu - Winchester is lovely it's completely separate to maternity etc although technically same building but separate entrance. My worst experience was one of the junior drs who really probably was just too young to understand. When she asked me why I was crying I lost the plot telling her if she read my notes this was my 3rd visit in 9 months and she'd had me waiting around for test and mex injection for 3 hours. Nurse took me into office made me cup of tea gave me a hug told me the situation was crap and unfair. Registrar came and gave injection and said they were sorry about the waiting around and junior dr had learnt her lesson. My advise is take someone with u. I have to say for one of bloods (had Ep so need bloods every 48 hours) they gave me a voucher to go for coffee cos midwife had a couple of people to see who were heavily pregnant and was running behind and they didn't want me to sit around bored. She even came down to epu even when I said I didn't mind going to antenatal to save her the trip .

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MyLittleMiracles · 25/08/2012 15:37

The first EPU i went to were very insensitive, joking about etc, whilst confirming my miscarriage, how it was two in a row etc
the second EPU, was amazing, they were lovely, found me a private room after rather than sitting in a waiting room, bought me a hot chocolate offered for someone to stay with me, if i wanted them to phone anyone. They were truly wonderful. I couldnt have asked for more. I think it varies on the hospital and staff to be honest.

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Molehillmountain · 27/08/2012 09:42

I'm really sorry that people have had such bad experiences. I have had two early miscarriages and the epu were just brilliant. Really empathetic and said things in the right way-although nothing they could really do to help. Very respectful.

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JiltedJohnsJulie · 27/08/2012 09:47

babyjames really feel for you. Whilst I've met some terrible staff in EPU and on the wards, I've also met some truely wonderful ones too. Hope that you get the good ones Smile.

If anyone gets treatment which they think isn't upto standard, please complain officially. I did and although the staff weren't exactly nice the second time I went, at least they were very professional Grin.

Complaints are the only way we are going to change it for the others that follow us.

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Racharv · 08/04/2013 18:34

I'm so sorry to read so many negative stories about EPU's
I personally could not have asked for better care from the staff on the EPU at the Royal Bolton Hospital, they were on hand every time I needed there help, whether it be in person or on the phone and were so sympathetic, even had one Nurse come in on her college day to see me on the day I had my final procedure done to check if I was ok and just to show a friendly face. the ladies on that ward do a wonderful job, I'm just so sorry you have not all had that experience.
The only down side I would say is that the ward is right next to the labour wards, so it's horrid having to walk through that, but you cant blame the nurses for the design of the building.
You should complain if things are that bad, no one deserves to be put through that at such a traumatic time

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nectarini1983 · 08/04/2013 20:39

You should write to the chief exec of the hospital. Although it cant change your bad experience, by knowing what's going on they may be able to improve things for other women who are sadly going thru the same thing in the future.

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Samii2013 · 26/11/2013 15:34

I was in M6 ward which is early pregnancy and the staff where real friendly I was given a room near the main desk and the staff kept coming in checking on me as I was 21 weeks pregnant and was having a boy and I had to give birth to a stillbirth baby boy because he had an enlarge kindey on right side and cessed on his kindeys and they where so nice helping me it was my first baby and I was scared and they where so friendly and nice

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KellyN10 · 03/12/2013 08:20

We had a crappy time too :(
Didn't seem to care.... I started bleeding on the Sunday lunch time at 8weeks pregnant. They wouldn't scan me until the Thursday!
I had to wait and pray for 4long days!
There attitude sucked too.

:( bad times xxx

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Mummytobe81 · 12/12/2013 09:12

Russell's hall in Dudley have been amazing. All staff really empathetic and caring during my 2 times there. X

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Preciousbane · 12/12/2013 09:18

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