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One stillbirth, one chemical pregnancy and one miscarriage all in one year, please tell me its going to get better.

(10 Posts)
fanjodisfunction Fri 20-Apr-12 18:02:24

Last April I gave birth to my beautiful daughter, she was 36+3 weeks, she was perfect except she wasnt alive. We knew straight away that we had to try again, I fell pregnant in the 3 month fertile window afterwards. We thought that it would be ok, only to have it end at 5 weeks, it was quick and the doctor said it was a chemical pregnancy as I had little pain and it was just like a normal period. We then tried and tried for months only to fall pregnant again this month,. We were so happy, the month that our beautiful daughter was born in, turned out to be the month we fell pregnant again. We wished it to be third time lucky, then on monday at 5+1 weeks I started to spot, only very lightly pink spotting, then the next day it increased to brown light spotting. I was worried but I remembered spotting like this when first pregnant with my daughter so hoped that it was just the same. The next day there was nothing, then in the afternoon I felt something give and more blood came away, but then again nothing. And then today full on cramps lots of blood. Doctor has told me that this time I have miscarried.

I cant quite beleive it, why does this happen, why has it happened to me, all in one year, the week before my daughters birthday I miscarry.

Please tell me there is some hope that I will become pregnant and have a live baby.

Methe Fri 20-Apr-12 18:05:24

Its fucking cruel isn't it sad

I can't offer you any words of wisdom but will offer you a big squeeze instead.

((((squeeze))))) xx

Jemimapuddleduk Fri 20-Apr-12 20:48:22

fanjo, I am so so sorry to hear about your terrible year. I can not imagine the pain of losing your daughter last April and then the shit since then. I hope you are being lOoked after by family and friends and have had good care through your hospital. I have had 3 mc's in the last 14 months so can empathasise with some of your despair. Let's hope the year moves onwards and upwards.

Jules125 Fri 20-Apr-12 22:47:33

I am so so sorry.

I had a year like this. I lost my DD1 stillborn in May2009 at 26 weeks, then an MMC in Nov 2009 and an mc in Feb 2010. I had pretty much given up hope, but 6 weeks later I was pregnant again and now have a wonderful 16 month old DD2.

Its very very tough, but remember that all pregnancies are different and if you can bear to just keep trying the next one may well be different too. I'm really hoping its the one that works out for you.

ChoccyPud Sat 21-Apr-12 19:14:59

fanjo I am so sorry to hear of your losses, I cannot imagine how you feel and your daughter's birthday must be a heartbreaking time for you.

jemima have I seen you elsewhere on MN? I've been a bit out of it lately (see below...) but I seem to recognise your name. I'm so sorry for your losses too.

I wanted to post here to ask if you both have been tested, or at least are planning to get tested, for Natural Killer Cells following your mc's. It's not very available on the NHS, even though after three mc's your "entitled" to get tested for a whole variety of potential causes of rmc. It's all a bit experimental, and many medics don't believe in NKCs, and will just tell you it's bad luck and to go away and try again.

I've had four mc's in 13 months, 6 in all. The latest was confirmed on Tuesday. After my third mc a year ago, I went to see Mr Shehata and was diagnosed with very high levels of natural killer cells, which basically means my immune system attacks anything that isn't 100% my DNA. I'm pretty efficient at this, and tend to mc at 5-6 weeks. It sounds as though you are both losing your pregnancies at about the same point, so practically a chemical pg.

Mr S's regime involves taking a load of Prednisolone (a steroid) and I'm also on an anti malarial drug, plus some other supplements etc. The Pred suppresses the immune system and the anti malarial drug "tweaks" it somehow so it behaves differently. For instance, I hadn't had so much as a cold in years but have had a few since being on the anti malarial so it feels like that's doing something even if it's not actually resulted in a successful pg for me so far!

I obviously can't diagnose either of you. But reading your posts your situations sound so similar to mine that I couldn't not pipe up and suggest you get your NKCs tested... I wish I had known 2.5 years ago what I know now, because I'd have got tested after one mc, not after 3.

If you'd like to come over to the conception board, there's a whole load of us who are mostly under Mr S, mostly for NKCs, but some with other issues too. Look for pregnancy on Prednisolone part 7. There's a wealth of knowledge, information, support, experience, mentalling..... My best wishes to you both.

Trickle Sat 21-Apr-12 19:43:39

fan I'm so sorry, I've not been on the Rainbow thread for a while I really don't know what to say, it's just shit and unfair.

fanjodisfunction Sun 22-Apr-12 17:21:01

trickle we miss on the rainbow thread.
I so wish I fall pregnant again soon and it sticks.

Trickle Mon 23-Apr-12 11:46:55

I've been a bit stressy - I'll come back when I'm not.
I hope you do too, sending lots and lots of sticky bean vibes xx

lola4lee Mon 23-Apr-12 20:24:15

fan so sorry for your losses and a happy birthday to your angel.

fanjodisfunction Tue 24-Apr-12 18:48:33

Thank you ladies, its been a tough year trying to cope with losing a child but then going through two early loses. Im hoping that this year will be better.

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