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Lost my baby at 35 weeks. So sad

(62 Posts)
amyboo Wed 18-Apr-12 18:41:14

The title says it all really. At my routinegynaecologist's appointment today I found out my baby boy (DS2) has died. No idea what has caused it yet. I'm going in on Saturday morning to deliver him, as joy of joys we're moving house tomorrow. DH and I are devastated. I just don't know how to even begin to get past this. 35 weeks of pregnancy with no problems and now this.

I don't know what I'm looking for really... Support I guess. Maybe someone who can tell me they've been through it and come out the other side. Just feeling so lost and sad.

TheCunningStunt Wed 18-Apr-12 18:43:37

I didn't want to leave this unanswered, sure I will cross posts with other people as I write. I am so so sorry for your losssad

LesAnimaux Wed 18-Apr-12 18:45:39

I can't even imagine what you are going through, but I'm sure there are others here who know only too well.

So sorry X sad

MoaningMinnieRisesAgain Wed 18-Apr-12 18:47:04

So sorry x

Codandchops Wed 18-Apr-12 18:49:21

I am so sorry to hear this amyboo, you are not alone as others here have been through this too, they are very supportive to one another and will offer you all the support they can.

xxxx

RandomMess Wed 18-Apr-12 18:49:23

So sorry, it's so heartbreaking yet not uncommon.

Of my friends who've been in this situation they have all said SANDS has been a wonderful support to them and that you cannot take too many photos of your baby son when he is born, even if you don't want to look at them shortly afterwards you may in the future.

My thoughts are with you x

xmyboys Wed 18-Apr-12 18:56:12

Sorry to read this. You must be so devastated. Life can be so cruel sometimes.

PotteringAlong Wed 18-Apr-12 18:56:44

I'm so so sorry my lovely.

I know there's a wonderful thread on here for bereaved mummies who should be able to come up with more adequate words.

it's here

CheeseandGherkins Wed 18-Apr-12 19:03:34

I'm so sorry to hear this. My daughter, Scarlett, at 37 weeks in December 2010. The support I've received on here since then has been invaluable. If you want to know anything about what could happen please ask. I was induced, she was breech and couldn't be turned so was born that way.

My thoughts are with you xx

whostolemyname Wed 18-Apr-12 19:04:22

There are no words, so sorry for your loss, how devastating x

Showmethemhappyfeet Wed 18-Apr-12 19:04:31

Can't offer and advice/help but just want to let you know I'm so sorry you're going through this

Sargesaweyes Wed 18-Apr-12 19:07:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shabbapinkfrog Wed 18-Apr-12 19:27:57

So very sorry for your loss. Two of my four sons have died - one as a 7 month old baby and one son who was 7 years old. I can imagine that you are feeling bewildered and heartbroken. I promise you it does 'get easier' although I am now 30 years and 20 years along this 'crappy path' of bereavement. If someone had told me that all those years ago I would have probably punched them in the face.

I also second the link to the bereaved Mums thread. Many Mums there with similar experiences and a place where you can say how you feel and get support.

xx

MiaAlexandrasmummy Wed 18-Apr-12 19:38:37

amyboo no-one understands why this happens. Of course you feel confused, lost and sad. I am so, so sorry. I lost my little red-headed Mia at 13 months last October, totally unexpectedly, and have found the support and kindness shown to me on MN to be unbelievable. I can't say that I have made it to the 'other side' yet, as there are many hard moments, but it is very comforting to find a safe place here where I can rant, rave, cry, mourn... and (surprisingly) laugh with a bunch of the most fabulous, brave and courageous people.

Please, be gentle on yourself. Allow yourself to feel whatever you feel.

Tamisara Wed 18-Apr-12 19:39:37

Oh amyboo (((hugs)))

Like cheeseandgherkins my second DD was stillborn, nearly 6 months ago, at 37 weeks. I like cheese, was induced, though in my case Tamsin was transverse, so in the end I had an EMCS.

If I have any advice it's do what you want. Before my DD was born, I bought a special teddy for her, and slept with it, then she had it after she was born, that way she had something with her, that 'mummy' had held onto for nights.

I also chose her outfit, but took another one in first. The first outfit I took (the one she wore first) I then kept, so I have something of hers, that she wore, in her memory box. We had her changed into different clothes for the funeral.

Maybe buy a special kit like this one, so that you can make an inprint of his hands/feet.

www.mothercare.com/Mothercare-First-Impression-Kit/dp/B004PHIYZW?ie=UTF8&pf_rd_r=0XB8PYZHMBC0XQ4HQ7TF&pf_rd_m=A2LBKNDJ2KZUGQ&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=B004PH7D3G&pf_rd_p=223220727&pf_rd_s=bottom-1

Please take lots & lots of photos, seriously loads, you will never have too many. Be prepared that your son maybe a bit macerated - I tell you that not to scare you, but to prepare you, as it can be a shock. I really hope he isn't, but it helps if you are prepared first.

Be prepared for feelings that you don't understand, and that you don't know yet, they can knock you for six.

I'm so, so sorry. You will come through it lovely, but it is going to be awful for a while. Enjoy your DS though.

Please do join us at this thread when you are ready www.mumsnet.com/Talk/bereavement/1452424-Even-the-smallest-of-footprints-have-the-power-to-leave-an-everlasting-imprint-on-the-Earth-Remembering-with-love-our-darling-children

We are all bereaved parents, and without the lovely ladies on this thread, I would never have survived. cheeseandgherkins is also on there xx

Rezolution Wed 18-Apr-12 19:42:00

So sorry for you and your DH. Hope you are as comfortable as possible. thanks

CurrySpice Wed 18-Apr-12 19:44:26

Oh goodness I am so so sorry to hear that news. I truly am sad

Jules125 Wed 18-Apr-12 19:52:09

I am truely sorry and devastated for you. I lost my DD1 late in pregnancy in May 2009 - almost 3 years ago now. It does get easier - you will one day take pleasure in life again - but I really struggled to function for most of 2009. I have no great advice to offer but just take one day (one step) at a time for now. you need to just get past the delivery then concentrate on you.

... DD2 calling but will get back soon

soveryfedup Wed 18-Apr-12 20:02:39

Oh I am so sorry x

Whatevertheweather Wed 18-Apr-12 20:13:30

Oh amyboo I'm so very very sorry. I was in your same position last August when I lost my DD at 35 weeks pregnant. Please ask any questions you have. Tami has given some great advice about after the birth and I concur especially with taking lots of photos and giving him lots of cuddles. You will be able to stay with him as long as you like in the hospital.

I'm also on the bereaved mummies thread do join us if you feel able whenever that might be. I will be thinking of you and your little ds xxx

sassytheFIRST Wed 18-Apr-12 20:16:12

How awful for you. My mil lost her second son (dh's brother) 35 years ago, and still occasional talks about it/wells up. She did go on to have a daughter a year or so later though and felt that completed her family.

Take care of yourselves. Big hugs to you xxx

mamalovebird Wed 18-Apr-12 20:24:01

I'm so sorry Amyboo. Take care of you and yours. so sorry sad x

randomimposter Wed 18-Apr-12 20:44:18

I'm so sorry - what a terrible shock for you sad

MiseryPlop Wed 18-Apr-12 20:51:40

amyboo I am so very sorry. Do you have much RL support, people to help with the move?

I'm afraid I can't offer any advice but my thoughts are with you X

slightlycrumpled Wed 18-Apr-12 20:53:00

Im so, so sorry. How absolutely heart breaking for you. sad

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