Thought I was 10 weeks but scan says 6 and no heartbeat - what to expect?(30 Posts)
So sorry to hear this- it does sound like you may be about to mc- are you cramping? I mc at 5.5 wks and although had fairly bad cramps for the first 2-3 days the bleeding wasn't actually too bad, just prolonged- lasted about 3 wks. It was worse when I actually sat on the loo, then I seemed to lose more. Sanitary towels, painkillers and a hot water bottle are the best things you need ( and maybe some wine and trashy tv). I am now going thru a 2nd mc at 8 wks so can sympathise hugs
Can your dh cancel his trip? Or could you get someone to be there to help with the dcs? How old are your dcs? When I mc last week I was very glad dp was there so he could keep the kids away, and clean up the bathroom when it was all over. Dd1 is 12 so I could have coped with her being around as she would have just stayed away, but dd2 is 2 and follows me around everywhere, so wanted to be in the bathroom with me. It was traumatic enough for me on my own, so I definitely didn't want a little audience. There is a very good thread about the practicalities of miscarriage, maybe read that so you know how it happens for different people.
Hi Cwm. I started spotting last week but couldn't get in for a scan. I went for the scan 5 days after I'd started spotting and had the same response you got. The pregnancy was 6 weeks but I was meant to be 13. They also said maybe I'd got my dates wrong but that would have meant I got pregnant 3 weeks after the positive pregnancy test. The next day I experienced a full miscarriage. You are certain of your dates so it's pretty certain that it's going to end in miscarriage. My advice to you would be to stay home. My miscarriage happened in 10 minutes. I had extremely painful cramps and lost everything in one go and in a public place too. Everyone is different so I'm not saying this will happen to you. It's very disturbing losing that much blood. You need someone close with you that you don't mind sharing everything with. You may also need someone to fetch and carry for you. Otherwise I'd leave spare underwear at the toilet along with maybe an Ipod and magazines in case you have to sit there for a while. Nobody tells you what to prepare for really. After the miscarriage I have since felt very tired. If I get up and try and do housework etc I get light headed, hot and get back ache and even stomach pain. I hope you have plenty of friends and family that can help you as your DH is away and I totally get what you're feeling. xx
No problem Cwm. That's exactly it. They should give you a leaflet on miscarriage at the start of pregnancy. I know no-one wants to read it but if it happens at least it's there. They don't even offer advice when they give you the awful news at the scan. At least at Mumsnet we have each other. xx
Your timings are exactly the same as mine when I miscarried. I didn't cramp at all, but bled a lot and then had a d and c. The d and c itself wasn't that bad (I did have a lot of bruising on my tummy) but it led to a horrible kidney infection which really got me down. If you have this, I would try and get antibiotic cover if you can.
I am so sorry for your loss. Be kind to yourself today.
I bled for about a week and a half in all.
Forgot to mention that they did a blood test to measure my hormone levels to be sure that there was no chance of the pregnancy being viable. They called me and told me there was no chance when I was in B and Q.
In retrospect, I wish I'd been a bit easier on myself. I tried to carry on as normal when I felt anything but (hence trips to B and Q).
Aw I'm sorry. Sounds like it is starting. Good luck, come here if you need advice (I haven't mc'ed yet so am of no use but the other ladies are fab) and read the tips thread.
Take care x
me either Cwm, am astounded how common it is for people who have mced to say that too. Am angry that others have to not only go through this sad sad thing but also suffer incompetent (I feel) management of the situation.
For me the actual "main event" was over in about an hour and a half, really quite painful (2 high dose prescription co-codamols and a hot water bottle didn't touch it), although had been spotting in the week before I knew and the day of the scan the bleeding like a period started up. So don't stray too far from home, and don't let your support stray too far either. Hopefully you'll not be left in mc limbo for too long, but also be prepared it can take some weeks to happen naturally. Have you thought about surgical option or medicated management to bring it on?
The practicalities thread is excellent. I would also add to think about if you want to see the baby/sac - if you don't do NOT look in the toilet bowl or at what you are wiping away - just flush.
It's not gruesome but it's not nice and I got hysterical at that point as there wasn't anyone with me and I had to say goodbye and flush it away alone
Good luck, keep posting and talking and grieving in any way that you feel helps you x take care of yourselves during this shitty horrid time, I'm so sorry x
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, Cwm. I miscarried after a week of limbo on Saturday. I actually had a reflexology treatment in the afternoon and an hour later the cramps started and I was passing clots. I was amazed at how quickly it helped get things started. I don't want to hijack, but did want to say that it is different for everyone, but my timings were almost exactly the same as yours and I pretty much went through labour and delivery. I don't want to scare you, but do agree with what others have said about having some support with you while your DH is away.
It is awful that there is so little advice given by the NHS about what to expect and how to deal with this horrible experience, especially when it is so common - at least three people have since told me they had mcs themselves. I definitely agree with the person who suggested that we get given a leaflet at the beginning of our pregnancys. MN was by far the best support I had (bar DH and other RL people!)
All the best, hon. Take care and be gentle to yourself. Grieve in whatever way feels right for you. It doesn't matter if your little baby never even had a heartbeat, the point is that it was just that, your little baby, and you had built up plans dreams and hopes for that little thing.
I hope things go as well as they can for you.
Mine started the evening of my scan, had cramping and clots and bleeding but then it stopped and it wasn't till the next afternoon that it all geared up again and properly happened (with about 90 mins of starting cramping badly it was all done).
Are you at work/home? have you got someone with you Cwm? x
That sounds like it to me cwm. I was a bit further along than you but mine was over in about 2-3 hours, with basically just what you said, cramps and lots of blood with big clots. I then bled for about 5 more days, getting lighter every day.
That might be it, cwm. Once I had passed the baby, my body just stopped. No more cramping/contractions/pain. Just done. I have been having cramps on and off today occasionally and the blood loss increases a little when that happens, but I guess just like with a period, there is quite a lot to get rid of?
I hope you are okay. A
big glass of wine helped me relax after I was done.
pipsicles, that sounds exactly like me. Once I had passed the baby i no longer got the intense cramps. I have had a few little cramps since but nothing like what happened when I passed all those clots. I had a few together yesterday and, like you said, passed more blood and very tiny clots. I just wish DH could be with me all the time. I'm so clingy. I think he's giving up his shift tomorrow so we can spend a few days together.
Just wanted to add my experience as I think my timings were very similar to yours. I started bleeding a little at 10 weeks & when I went for a scan they told me I must have my dates wrong or it was a mmc from 6 weeks. I went home and three days later I miscarried naturally. I would second what a PP said- it was very like labour & delivery, with contractions and then a pushing stage. Unfortunately for me, some got stuff on it's way out & I ended up passing out on the loo into my (very handy & lovely) DH's arms, just missing whacking my head on the sink. He rung an ambulance & they got me on gas & air and to the hospital v.quickly where they sorted me out and also scanned me again to make sure I'd passed everything I needed to. I was really grateful that a friend had my 2 year old & that my Mum was on hand for the few days in between & after. I then felt like I'd given birth for a week or so after, sore, bleeding, tired & very very sad. Emotional stuff took a lot longer. I'm so very sorry you're going through this, and hope that you are on the mend really soon.
Should have been 9 weeks, baby had stopped around 6 weeks, was def no pushing involved but could aboslutely feel it passing out of me.
Bibblebobble that sounds awful. I also didn't have to push but it certainly felt like labour pains without the happy ending and I certainly felt it passing out of me. I don't know if they make out you may have got your dates wrong to avoid having to explain miscarriage to people. It certainly feels that way if it wasn't intended. Mumsnet has been a real blessing if only to realise that you're not alone and that what you're experiencing is "normal" for lack of a better word.
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