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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Miscarriage & I Feel Like A Failure

8 replies

Calmary · 10/04/2012 08:57

Hi.
I have just suffered my 3rd miscarriage in a row, the first miscarriage i was young and it was upsetting but i don' think i was truly ready for a baby at that time. My second was a bit different i had my own house with my boyfriend and we were both ready to complete our family, but sadly we lost this one too.
It took me a long time to try again because i had it in my head i would loose another and true enough my 3rd came around. All my miscarriages have been around 7 weeks.
I am going to the hospital for tests to hopefully get this horrid problem sorted, but it doesn't take away the pain, disappointment, guilt & blame away. I stopped drinking and smoking straight away as soon as i found out i was pregnant (3 weeks) and i still lost my baby.

Can someone tell me that this will sort it self out and some day i will have a healthy baby???
Many Thanks x x x

OP posts:
HumphreyCobbler · 10/04/2012 10:10

I am so sorry to hear this. I too have just had my third miscarriage, although all three of mine have been at different stages.

Have you been offered any support by your GP? Are they doing any tests to find out why you have miscarried? I know it is easy to say, but please try not to blame yourself, it will not have been anything you have done.

HumphreyCobbler · 10/04/2012 10:12

sorry, I realise I missed a bit of your op. I hope you get some information soon. It will make you feel more in control of the situation, this lack of control is one of the hardest things to bear.

Yearling · 10/04/2012 10:36

I'm so sorry for your losses. I've had 3 mc myself so understand totally what you are feeling. I have friends who have had 3 or 4 miscarriages and gone on to have healthy babies so don't give up hope.

I had the NHS tests, all came back clear which in some ways was a relief but it also meant that we were just 'unlucky' and that we should 'have a holiday and try again.'

The pain and disappointment never really goes away but it becomes less intense as time goes by, but I do still have my moments of despair.

There are options. We're trying again now after some time out, and if I miscarry again i'm going to push for a referral to St Marys. My DM has also indicated she would help out with private fees if necessary (very lucky I know).

I still have this blind faith that it will happen for us, it will for you too.

Look after yourself.

Calmary · 10/04/2012 11:26

I will go and see my GP on Thursday just hoping that they getting the ball rolling as i feel i may crack up in the mean time. Also the bleeding is just a constant reminder that i have lost yet another baby.
Thanks for your messages its nice to know that there is people to talk to :) Thanks again Calmary x x

OP posts:
Calmary · 10/04/2012 11:28

Also cause i know you have been through the same thing what will the GP and hospital do? My last 2 they just put it down to bad timing and bad luck. x

OP posts:
Yearling · 10/04/2012 13:13

During my last pg/mc (#3) I was referred to a consultant but this was because the scan showed up a large cyst on my ovary which I subsequently had removed, they thought that might be affecting my pregnancies. While waiting for surgery I had the standard NHS tests - a series of blood tests for clotting issues, hormone levels, can't remember what else, done at the hospital. Took weeks to get the results but it felt like things were moving in the right direction at least.

I've been looking back through my notes and I didn't get the genetic tests (to check that you and DP genes are compatible(?)), so this is something I need to follow up on now, if I lose another one. As I was with the consultant I didn't see my GP at all through this process.

After a successful op and no issues raised by the tests I was told to try again. Consultant very supportive and told me to have an early scan with him at 6 wks in my next pg. Actually I'm 5 wks now and have a scan booked for friday. I'm crapping myself and very pessimistic as I'm spotting brown blood now. I rang EPU directly, they've got my notes and are being so supportive, which is great.

Sorry for the essay! It seems to depend where you are in the country as to the care / tests etc you will receive. Push for everything you can get. Have you done much research? It really helps if you know what tests are available and what they're for etc. Just will make more sense.

Yearling · 10/04/2012 13:21

This page is quite useful... NHS will only do a selection of these tests, you will need a referral or go private to get some of them:

www.miscarriageclinic.co.uk/causes-and-treatments/

Calmary · 10/04/2012 20:54

Thank you so much for all your advice and taking time out to write this for me, it has really helped and i have printed all the info off. x x x

Thanks again Calmary x x x

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