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Ectopic pregnancy support thread

(909 Posts)
tasmaniandevilchaser Sun 18-Mar-12 18:15:29

Hi everyone, this is a place for anyone who's had an ectopic pregnancy - whether you want to moan, cry, fret or just have a chat with other people who understand. I know there's lots of other good websites on ectopic pregnancies but after hijackingchatting with sunshine on another thread, I thought I'd start one here.

Well I'll get the ball rolling with my story - after a MMC in November (found out at the 12 wk scan that the baby had died at 10 wks) I was just getting myself sorted, having counselling, when I had the ectopic. I know I am lucky in that I have a lovely DD. Having had a normal pregnancy, I knew from the beginning this one was not good and as soon as I got a BFP I was down at the hospital.

After 10 days of mental torture, waiting around, scans, rescans, blood tests, it got too late for the methotrexate (they finally saw the ectopic in a scan on a Friday early evening and the methotrexate wasn't in stock hmm)

I finally had the surgery to remove one tube on the Tuesday. This was the end of February, at first I wasn't sure how I would cope, but I am just plodding on. I know I am lucky that it didn't rupture, but honestly I can't think of having an ectopic as being lucky. Especially after a MMC sad.

Anyway, come join me if you want to share your story, I have wine, brew and thanks

Countmyblessings Mon 17-Dec-12 18:48:35

Wow that positive and a nice to share for all who feel there is no hope!
I do hope all is well with everyone and getting ready for Christmas and spending time with loved ones!
My DD for my ectopic baby is tomorrow and I'm filled with mixed emotions and trying to be upbeat about it all I'm 27 weeks pregnant flying out on Christmas Day for 2 weeks and should and am so grateful!
I look at the news and the shooting of those poor children makes me thankful and so grateful for life!!! Count my blessings as I can't imagine how's those families are feeling at this time!

tasmaniandevilchaser Mon 17-Dec-12 20:47:01

loopy, that's a lovely story!

count hope your due date isn't too horrible, I know they can be awful. My MMC due date was. I hope you have a lovely hols and bump is all ok. the news from the shootings has been making me cry, It's just unimaginable.

Can hardly believe I'm 20 wks tomorrow, scan at 9am. I never thought this would happen. Before this pg, I'd had more traumatic scans than good ones, so Although it's the 5th scan this pg, I can't really believe it'll be ok.

Anyway, if anyone else is still lurking, hope you're doing ok. berries been thinking of you, hope your DH's appt went ok.

tiredandiwanttogotobed Mon 17-Dec-12 22:41:02

Hiya all

Tas wow! 20 weeks, are you going to find out if it's pink or blue?

Berries hope things go ok

everyone else pregnant or not, sending you all positive, happy Christmas thoughts.

Btw, I'm good thanks. 28 wks on Wednesday and it's a pink one. I think I'm finally relaxing and enjoying this now, though I didn't start relaxing til 24 wks and with every week that passes I relax a bit more. smile

Apparentlychilled Wed 19-Dec-12 12:06:07

Hi all, great to hear that so many of you are doing well. And can't wait to hear about the babies' arrivals in 2013.

AF arrived last week. Been v low since. Though I hadn't really been keeping track of dates since EP, it made me realise it was 9 weeks ago (so 10 weeks now), and I just feel so sad. I started some counselling about 3 weeks ago, so not sure if it's that or the hormones, or both. Saw GP again today, who was lovely and seems confident that feeling rubbish is just part of it all coming out, thanks to the counselling.

Annoyed, as I'd been feeling so much better and more like myself and now feel laid low by it all again.

tasmaniandevilchaser Thu 20-Dec-12 10:40:00

Hi all, yes tired I was desperate to find out, partly to bond a bit more as it hasn't really seemed real. Partly to cheer myself up as it's been pretty rough having pneumonia. It's a boy, so so happy!

Chill sorry to hear that you're feeling low I think it's really natural to be up and down 10 weeks is still really early days I've been having counselling and I found it has really helped Hope that your counselling is working out Sorry about the punctuation and using Siri on the iPad

Countmyblessings Thu 20-Dec-12 15:38:09

Hi Tas - yeh my dd was not as bad as I thought it would be but am in better place and I have to put that down to being 28 weeks pregnant and know bean is well!!! Have another dd on 28dec but glad I will
Be away and that's marking what would of been baby's 1st bday!
Had 4d scan today and it was amazing baby had hands in face and I saw mouth opening and just thought wow! DH not a fan as he found it quite spooky!!!
Tired - it feels good knowing the finish line ain't too far off right!! Ohhhh and a girl so glad for you!!! We also know but have kept it quiet our little secret!!! Also still a lot of our family overseas doesn't know so will announce on our return!! Feeling huge too!
App- sorry of you feeling low, I know how emotions goes up and down be kind to yourself and maybe think of things you can do like a spa day or a massage! Praying 2013 will bring you and many others on here joy!!!

joby21 Thu 20-Dec-12 18:23:52

Hello everyone. Hope you are all ok and have survived the due dates. My due date would have been in august so a while ago now but it wasn't too bad. I think i'm finding today harder actually as it was a year ago today i ha surgery. Mind you, being huge and 4 days overdue isn't helping matters!

Exciting that you are all finding out if bumps are pink or blue! Count, can't believe you're keeping it a secret! There's no way we could have done that. We didn't find out the sex, although some people think we do secretly know!

Chilled Ten weeks is still early days. I found life was much more rubbish when AF arrived but it does get better!

tasmaniandevilchaser Thu 20-Dec-12 20:26:43

joby sorry to hear that today is the anniversary of the op. i hadn't thought of that particular date, still got that to come. 4 days overdue! Hope that baby comes before you get too uncomfortable, please do come and update us when baby arrives. You'll be the first one of us to have a baby post EP, that's very exciting! Hope that it gives others hope it can happen. I know I was very pessimistic, I can still sometimes hardly believe it happened to me, I still occasionally feel pissed off a bout it all and it was 10 mths ago.

Chilled, joby is right it does get better, less raw. Hang on in there.

tasmaniandevilchaser Thu 20-Dec-12 20:32:00

Count, pleased that your due date wasn't too bad. A 4d scan, that sounds very exciting, it is purely for fun or do,they check baby/placenta/growth etc. you have great stamina knowing the gender and not saying.

Tired, Good to hear you're relaxing, I'm finally starting to relax, it is a VERY nice feeling!

Apple27 Thu 27-Dec-12 19:06:12

Hi everyone

I was on this thread back in August following my first Ectopic, which i had my left tube removed. Sorry I left the thread after that, after returning to work I got really busy and found that was the best way to try and get back to 'normal'.

Anyway, find myself googling things i'm going through again to see if I can find answers! I found out 6 day ago i am pregnant again. so both me and DH were really happy. had slight shoulder tip pain on Christmas eve and went to A&E to get checked out just to be cautious with my history. I have had no bleeding or pain like I did with last EP.

so Christmas eve they did HCH test was 230 (I was then just over 4 weeks from LMP) repeated bloods today (3 days later) and HCG was 580, so got rushed for internal scan which showed nothing in my uterus but was a 'swelling' on the right side so is suspected possible ectopic. sad

thing is the consultant wasnt sure, gave us option of going in by laparoscopy to have a look which they still might not see anything as it's very early, or wait 48hrs for repeated bloods. chose to wait, i know this might sound silly but he did kind of say they dont want to rush into anything, but on the other hand it is a risk waiting. thing is i'm not in any abdominal pain or have bleeding... should i be hopeful?? one doctor said 75/25 towards ectopic. it's now a waiting game.

hate this. why can life be so cruel, if i have to have the last tube removed I'll be devestated.

anyone had similar? xxx

Apple27 Thu 27-Dec-12 19:06:59

*HCG test

tasmaniandevilchaser Fri 28-Dec-12 10:10:30

Oh apple, I'm so sorry sad, I was hoping you'd come back with good news. Though it may still be good news, it's still so early.

They wouldn't scan me til HCG was about 1500 (though as it was on a Friday they stretched it to 1100), as they said it was too early. So if your HCG levels are 530 then it would be very early to see something or for something to rupture. It does seem like you've got a few days to wait and see. I'll keep all my fingers and toes crossed for you, keep us posted when you can. Try and keep busy to take your mind off it all, take care.

Apple27 Fri 28-Dec-12 12:02:43

Thanks tas I am desperately hoping it is good news but on the other hand am trying to be realistic and also know it could be really bad news!

yeah I know it's very early days and so I wasnt massively worried when they didn't see anything in my uterus but it's the swelling that is worrying. the consultant said it could be the right ovary that has a cyst due to the pregnancy - but they just arent sure!

the shoulder tip pain is coming and going - but that's caused by internal bleeding which there are no signs of. I have no bleeding and the scan didnt show any (it did last time).

just all so confusing and scary sad

hhhhhhh Fri 28-Dec-12 22:11:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Apple27 Sat 29-Dec-12 15:08:50

Just got back from the hospital after my 3rd blood result and it's gone from 580 to 1116 - just short of double. I saw a different doctor and he said they are happy with how it's increased and they'll book me a scan for next Thursday or Friday. And I'm to go back if I have any abdo pain or bleeding.

I now have almost a week to wait and fully know. They said there's not much point doing any bloods as they are increasing ok. But still not conclusive as to whether its in the right place or ectopic. I really wish I had pushed for a scan on Monday as my levels should be high enough to see something by then if it is in the uterus.

So do I keep positive for a WEEK! Or still be cautious?! It's scary. Especially when this is my last tube at risk!!

Has anyone else had levels that rise a little slow like this and it's ok??

Hi monthlywishes sorry to hear you're going through this. My only advice would be to push for a scan or bloods to be monitored 48hrs especially with the pain and bleeding. If it is ectopic you're better for them to find out early and try to avoid losing your tube like I did.

Thinking about everyone in this situation at the moment - it's cruel!


tasmaniandevilchaser Thu 03-Jan-13 20:23:05

Hi apple did you have a scan today? Hoping it's good news for you.

Hi monthly, how are you? Sorry you found yourself in this horrible situation. I know what you mean about hoping for a mc, never thought I'd ever think that, but I did! Hope,that it's resolving now, did they decide what it was?

AGP07 Sat 05-Jan-13 23:53:45

hello, I have stumbled onto your board after trying to find information on ectopics. Thank you to those who helped get it going, I've read through quite a few pages and find it such a relief to see others having the same questions, fears etc as I thought I was going mad.

I will try not to drag my story out.. In order I have had mc 2005, DD2007, mc2010, mc2011 Jan, then a ectopic in Apr '11. Under the hospitals advice they managed me expectantly, which meant daily, then fortnightly trips to hospital for about 2 months until Hormones less than 10. I decided on this route to try to preserve my tubes. It was horrendous as I bled heavily for 42 days, having to go to EPU and wait with others having scans / those who were being scanned after c-section.

It took me until Jan of '12 to want to TTC and my doctor luckily referred me to gyno for recurrent mc test. All were clear apart from HSG which was excruciating as they found my whole left tube was blocked (leaving me thinking I had carried the mass with me for nearly a year- I felt traumatised by this). I needed to have surgery to remove my tube, however was lucky I kept my ovary as they were going to remove that too. The surgeon also took as much scaring /lesions off my other tube as she could.

I often wonder if this could've been prevented by taking the chemical rather than waiting and seeing. In my mind my ectopic nightmare lasted over a year, further delaying ttc. We have now been TTC for six months and each AF is a dissapointment.

We have a delightful dd who is 6 this week and is desperate for a sibling. I would love for our family to have another, but it's looking unlikely (I am 38 and do not want ICI/IVF as I have had enough medical stuff). I keep wavering on giving up ttc and accept we are a family of three or keep going until my brain gets the message my body is trying to send.

It is lovely to hear of the success stories where people have gone on to have another, it gives me hope. I would also like to hear from those who are in the ttc dilemma or who have accepted that their family is 'small but perfectly formed'. Thanks for listening.

tasmaniandevilchaser Sun 06-Jan-13 14:25:21

hi agp, sorry to hear about your ordeal, you've really been through it. They say expectant management is good in some ways but it does drag on and you can't start recovery until it's all over.

I remember a couple of posters a while back who accepted their family of 3, but they haven't been around for a long while. I feel a bit guilty telling my story as I am one of the lucky ones who somehow got pg with one tube, but there was a time when I thought it just wouldn't happen. I was going for counselling and was really distressed at the thought of DD being an only child, I so so wanted another child, I felt obsessed by it. The counsellor just said one day "well, why? Why do you NEED to have another one?" I went away and thought about it and realised actually I was so lucky to have DD and of course I didn't need to have another child. For me, just sitting down and examining the idea took away its power over me. I'm roughly the same age as you and I knew I couldn't do this forever. It puts a horrible strain on your relationship sometimes and I feel I was a rubbish Mum to DD over the last year, I just wanted to enjoy what I had.

We still TTC for a few months but it was a lot easier without the terrible pressure I put on myself and I was a lot happier. Obviously in the end we got lucky, but it's not an easy journey and I can totally understand when people who say they are happy with one child. There's only so much you can put yourself through. There's a thread on the EPT where there are lots of women TTC and lots of them have really been through the mill.

I hope whatever life brings you, you can find a bit of happiness in it.

AGP07 Sun 06-Jan-13 23:45:51

Thanks Tas. It's lovely to hear that you managed to have another. Could I ask how long it took you to get pg? My issue is my cycle has been all over the place since my op, it used to be bang on 30days and now can range from 16 to 36! Did you uses any ovulation sticks or just let things happen? We're you looked after by the EPU in the early days? Sorry if too many personal questions, you don't have to answer if you don't want to.

Has anyone seen or received information on expectant management? I haven't ever found much about it even on the ectopic trusts site. It would be good to suggest they put an FAQ for lots of questions we may have after an EP, but were dealing with the immediate medical issue, so disnt ask at the time. Has anyone found any good reference points?

I am sure whatever happens in my journey, it will be fine. I've just read a really good book on only children and it does dispell a lot of myths about onlies, which makes me feel better. My daughter hasn't asked for a whole week and the request hasn't made it to her birthday list (unlike Christmas)! My DH is v supportive (I think the whole ectopic drama scared him senseless), so really should thank my blessings.

I really appreciate this thread as I don't feel so alone in all of this and also want to help anyone who is experiencing an EP, as like mc it seems to be something that's not openly talked about. X

tasmaniandevilchaser Mon 07-Jan-13 19:46:34

Hi agp, glad to hear your DD hasn't asked for a sibling for her birthday, it really cuts for them to ask I know. I hate all the rubbish pedalled about inly children, some of my best friends are onlies and they are very well balanced, normal people. Sounds like you have got to a good place, that is really great.

It took 5 cycles of TTC after EP and I did chart my temps and use a monitor with the sticks. I couldn't use sticks on their own as my cycle has always been irregular. My top tip would be using 'preseed' as my EWCM has been less abundant as I've got older. I conceived the first time I used it, so something worked for me there.

Do you mean looked after by the EPU post EP? Or in the early days of this pg? I had a 6 wk check up post op and then phoned them up at 3+3 practically hysterical and they brought me in for bloods that day. Then I had another lot of bloods done 48 hrs later, then a scan at 5 wks and another scan at 7 wks. Then another scan at 10 wks I asked for due to the MMC. so yes very looked after, I am very grateful,to them.

I think the idea about FAQs for the EPT is good, they used to have lots of hosts answering questions but they seem to be very thin on the ground now. I did see a good article on their website that said expectant management had the best outcomes for future fertility.

joby21 Mon 07-Jan-13 21:46:33

apple and monthly I hope everything is resolving one way or another and are being looked after.

I had emergency surgery and a tube removed on 20th dec 2011. On 31st dec i finally gave birth to baby joby! We had a baby boy who weighed 9lb 3oz! We came home the same day and we are both doing really well. I still find it surreal to be holding my first baby so soon after the ectopic but i hope it gives people hope!

AGP07 Mon 07-Jan-13 22:11:25

Thanks TAS, been charting ovulation this month, so fingers crossed. Had great chat with DH and decided to keep on trying for another few months and then reassess.

Congratulations JOBY! You give us all hope.

tasmaniandevilchaser Tue 08-Jan-13 18:37:28

joby congrats! So happy for you! I was wondering when baby had arrived, thanks for updating us.

joby21 Tue 08-Jan-13 20:50:30

thank you! tas he was 15 days late!

Countmyblessings Wed 09-Jan-13 14:28:58

Just back from hols and I see baby Joby arrived late but great and healthy! Congrats and so happy you finally get to hold your baby
That you waited for so long for! With the horrors of dealing with tube removal,re occurring ectopics, MMC and the awful ordeal if waiting to conceive rising bloods and positive scans its a real roller coaster!
Seen some newbies but haven't gone in reading as I'm knackered
31 weeks with a lively kicking karate chopping baby!! Playing boxing with my bladder and other organs but glad as I know all is well!
Will post again after I get over my body re adjusting with good old cold England!!!

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