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Ectopic pregnancy support thread

(909 Posts)
tasmaniandevilchaser Sun 18-Mar-12 18:15:29

Hi everyone, this is a place for anyone who's had an ectopic pregnancy - whether you want to moan, cry, fret or just have a chat with other people who understand. I know there's lots of other good websites on ectopic pregnancies but after hijackingchatting with sunshine on another thread, I thought I'd start one here.

Well I'll get the ball rolling with my story - after a MMC in November (found out at the 12 wk scan that the baby had died at 10 wks) I was just getting myself sorted, having counselling, when I had the ectopic. I know I am lucky in that I have a lovely DD. Having had a normal pregnancy, I knew from the beginning this one was not good and as soon as I got a BFP I was down at the hospital.

After 10 days of mental torture, waiting around, scans, rescans, blood tests, it got too late for the methotrexate (they finally saw the ectopic in a scan on a Friday early evening and the methotrexate wasn't in stock hmm)

I finally had the surgery to remove one tube on the Tuesday. This was the end of February, at first I wasn't sure how I would cope, but I am just plodding on. I know I am lucky that it didn't rupture, but honestly I can't think of having an ectopic as being lucky. Especially after a MMC sad.

Anyway, come join me if you want to share your story, I have wine, brew and thanks

iloveberries Sat 03-Nov-12 07:58:24

Hi folks, I am still here.... Just been trying not to dwell on the ectopic and part of that is not hanging out on these boards.... Due date has been and gone, no sniff of a bfp. The rest of my life is going well though so trying to just enjoy it. We are still ttc but not holding out much hope tbh. It's a yr in march so will be getting myself to docs on march 1st to try and get a referral so at least we can move forward instead of this mindless ttc every month. (been bout 16mths now in total). I think what with my one tube and dh's substandard sperm (due to the medication he's had to go on) we won't have much of a chance so try not to think about it and enjoy my little family of 3.

Gong through this also made me realise who my real friends were and gave me the strength to ditch the shit ones!

tas and tired hurrah that all is going well for you both - I'm so pleased for you smile

Sorry to the ladies who have just found themselves here. It's so so so shit and will always be part of your life but it does get easier - I promise.


joby21 Sun 04-Nov-12 18:50:38

Hi everyone,

Am still occasionally lurking on here!

Fab news about your scan Tas, but sorry to hear about your friend.

Berries, do you have to wait til march or is that just the deadline you've set yourself? The consultant i saw after my ep mentioned he'd be happy to see me whenever i wanted for fertility investigations etc. For us it was a bit soon as we hadn't actually been trying that long but i'd have thought you should be able to be seen earlier, if that's what you want. But, havi.g said that, am glad to hear that everything else is going well!

Count and tired, fab news that you are both 21 weeks! Count, can't believe you're keeping the sex secret! I knew we would never be able to so we didn't find out. Think the OH is regretting that now though as we are ginding choosing names impossible!

I am now 34 weeks. I finished work last week which is a bit surreal! I know what you mean (count? i think!) about not taking things for granted once you've had bad news. We've only just started to believe there may be a baby at the end of this and we only bought a cot for the baby last week!

To all the new faces, sorry that you have found yourselves on this thread. If it's any consolation, it does get easier. Take each day as it comes and there is no right or wrong about whatever you are feeling.

Everyone take care of yourselves!

lorsa Sun 04-Nov-12 19:02:40

Hi everyone! Feeling a bit better now but feel I have wasted my half term in wallowing! Nevermind. Retail therapy was good. Bought some clothes and Christmas presents!

tas, sorry to hear aboutbyour friend.

Berries, am with you on the enjoying life now. I am determined to enjoy the life I have now and the child I am so lucky to have. Although I am still obsessing and desperate to get going with the TTC, I am also trying to appreciate the here and now.

What is the reason we have to wait for two periods? Is it to reduce risk of ep or is it for emotional reasons?

Hope everyone is well.

iloveberries Mon 05-Nov-12 21:43:36

Hi joby thanks for your post. The previous doc I'd seen had said a year after ep I could go back but your post gave me a bit of oomph and I went to a different doctor today who is happy to refer dh for sperm analysis and has referred me to gynae. He also gave me a bottle and referral for day 21 bloods so actually it was all relatively simple getting the referral. In a way it felt awful as its like admitting that it's not 'working' but at the same time it will be good to get dh's sperm looked at so we can rule that out as an issue and then hopefully it will just be a matter of time.

Doc said he'd refer me as "it takes ages and at least this way you're in the system, but you'll be pregnant just after Christmas anyway. You're only 32 and even the young ones take 8-9 months to fall on average". Hopefully it will just be a matter of time but there's no harm is getting into the system is there.... --and dh has never made love to a cup before so it'll be a first for him!"

tasmaniandevilchaser Wed 07-Nov-12 11:19:11

hi all,

joby 34 wks! Great news smile and count and tired glad it's all going well smile

berries getting into the system sounds like a good plan and ruling out some probs. Hope that it all comes back ok and you get your BFP soon. I think a bit of an age gap is a good thing, less stressful.

lorsa the EPT talks about waiting 2 or 3 months as it gives the body a chance to heal, also the emotional side. Also if you get pg again quickly, it might not work out (mc etc) and you need to be strong enough to deal with whatever comes. In my personal experience, getting the BFP was wonderful news, I still sometimes wonder how I've been so lucky, but it's a long old road to getting a baby. And it's not stress free. I'm glad I had a bit of time to recover from the EP. I didn't realise how much it had affected me until I started coming out of it (about 6 months, though I had the due date for the MMC in the middle, which was not exactly helpful to mental/emotional recovery).

So if you dont' mind me having a moan, I'll share my news - 2 days after the 12 wk scan, I was just starting to feel like it might be ok and I came down with pneumonia. I was delirious, vomiting and I had THE shoulder tip pain, so I was freaking out. The very kind doctor reminded me that after 4 scans, it was not going to be ectopic. But it was a very scary time. I was hospitalized, given nasty antibiotics (why oh why did I google???!!) and now , although I'm free of infection (I doubt I've got a single bacteria left in me) I'm shattered and fed up. I'm thinking of going for a private scan just for some reassurance.

tasmaniandevilchaser Wed 07-Nov-12 11:20:35

sorry forgot to say chilled glad GP has been great and hope you had a good w/e away. Hope that you're getting some more good days

hereinhope Wed 07-Nov-12 17:11:41

Hi all. Hoping for some hope help or guidance. Been told I have a pregnancy of unknown location. Hcg is 7100 and has been rising for a week by nearly double. Had three scans but they can't find anything. I've been looked at by a professor and he is also lost. Still having morning sickness and no other major symptoms apart from back ache. Has anyone had a similar experience and any guidance? Thanks

Apparentlychilled Thu 08-Nov-12 10:17:51

herein sorry to hear your scans and professor haven't managed to sort thing out for you. I don't have any similar experience, but hang on, and I'm sure someone will be along soon who can relate.

tasmaniandevilchaser Thu 08-Nov-12 12:20:12

hi herein, sorry you're in such horrible limbo. I don't have a similar experience. I think northey did have something similar. Hopefully she'll be along. Hope they are keeping a very close eye on you. What kind of management are they talking about? Methotrexate? Hope you are being very kind to yourself and there is someone to take care of you a bit, it's a very difficult time.

Apparentlychilled Thu 08-Nov-12 15:40:17

herein- I'm a total space cadet today- I've just re-read my post to you and realise how uncaring and cold it sounded- I'm sorry. I hope you're OK and sorry to hear you're finding yourself in this limbo. Look after yourself (I found chocolate and Grazia did me the power of good when I was feeling rubbish, though that was post op).

Apparentlychilled Wed 21-Nov-12 21:41:33

Hello all? How is everyone? How are you, herein?

5.5 weeks post op, I'm feeling so much better.

tasmaniandevilchaser Thu 22-Nov-12 12:34:54

Glad to hear you're feeling better chilled, it does take time. Sorry gotta dash, but good to hear from you.

Apparentlychilled Mon 26-Nov-12 11:47:25

6 weeks since op, and still no period. The GP seemed to think it'd happen after about 4 weeks. Anyone else take a while to come on?

How is everyone?

iloveberries Mon 26-Nov-12 21:37:01

Mine took 8 weeks to arrive - it was the first (and only) time I've been glad to see the witch!

Hope you're doing ok chilled

Hope tas and tired and joby are doing well too.

We are now undergoing tests.... Tbh I am still very hopeful we will conceive naturally. Been ttc far too long for my liking now.....

tasmaniandevilchaser Tue 27-Nov-12 21:43:23

Hi berries good to hear the tests have started, just realised this bean was 16 mths in the making so you're right not to give up hope. I'm ok, when I go back to work the bump will be v noticeable, won't be able to hide it.

Hi to everyone else, hope you're all ok

Countmyblessings Tue 27-Nov-12 23:02:19

Hi all -
Joby- not long now at all for you! Although I can't rember you mentioning your due date!
Ilove - I do hope the tests give you some fresh new insight to maybe what's going on with your body! I have total faith as soon as this all starts your be pregnant!
Tas - glad all is going well with you, I also returned to work with a belly everyone was shocked!!!
Tired - hope all is good with you also!
25 weeks here and excited about my hols!!!!

iloveberries Thu 29-Nov-12 21:20:49

I definitely won't be pregnant. Dh has been told he's practically infertile. Gutted doesn't come close to how I feel right now

lorsa Fri 30-Nov-12 14:48:30

Really sorry to hear that berries xxx

tasmaniandevilchaser Fri 30-Nov-12 15:23:06

oh berries oh shit sad sad I'm gutted for you.

is it because of the drug he's on? Will it change when he can stop them?

Countmyblessings Fri 30-Nov-12 22:28:03

Ilove - I'm so very sorry, but don't give up hope!
Even the slim chance is enough - all here to support you to the end!
Can't believe December is tomorrow!!! Whoop!

iloveberries Sat 01-Dec-12 00:37:15

count no offence but there is no hope it will happen naturally.

tas - we don't know if it is the meds. I suspect it is. He can't come off them as it long term ill and the ones he's on are the least likely to interfere with sperm. All steroids are rubbish for fertility. I am going to look into ivf as our next option after he sees his consultant about his drugs.

Oh what a pile of shit! Xx

Countmyblessings Sat 01-Dec-12 01:04:49

Sorry didn't mean to make light of your situation just wanted to offer thinking positive even if it all looks dire!!
IVF- I do hope you can look into this as another option!
Sorry that your DH medication is what's causing this , that sucks help in one hand shatters dreams in the other!
Again I so soo sorry!
Big hug xxxx

tasmaniandevilchaser Sat 01-Dec-12 11:41:00

berries it is indeed a huge pile of shit sad. The only thing that could slightly be construed as not a big pile of shit, is that at least you know where you stand now and you're not trying for nothing. Sigh. it's not much I know!

Have you looked at IUI? I think they "wash" the sperm and then something happens with a turkey baster. I know one couple it's worked twice for but others say it didn't work. Upside is it's only about £800. Sorry if you've already looked at that. Hope the consultant has some ideas. It's so stressful, hope you get a workable plan soon.

count countdown to Christmas! We're getting a tree today and we are going to make some decorations with DD. She is very excited.

Hope everyone is doing ok and looking forward to Christmas.

joby21 Sat 01-Dec-12 21:19:18

berries so sorry to hear your news. As tas says, at least on the plus side you know where you stand and can start looking at other options.

loopybear Mon 17-Dec-12 18:24:11

Berries just wanted to tell u about a friend who was in the same position with her dh. They had treatment and had triplets on 2nd attempt. She went for a check up when they were 3 months old to be told she was 6 weeks pregnant! Complete shock but shows anything is possible!

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