Looking for hope after ectopic pregnancy

[sunshinealwaysfollowstherain]

I have just got home from hospital after having an ectopic pregnancy and tube removed at 8 weeks pregnant.

It was my 2nd pregnancy. I have a 2 yr old DS.

It was a much wanted baby and I am obviously devastated at the loss but moreover I am devastated at what it might mean for our future as a family as we desperately want more children.

I have been told there is a 65% chance I will conceive naturally again. This feels horribly low to me.

I don't know why it happened and I have none of the traditional 'causes' of ectopic pregnancy.

I don't really know why I am posting - I suppose I am looking for hope, stories of people who have gone on to have babies after ectopics.

I feel so robbed, not only did they take my baby but i feel like they took my fertility and my dreams for the future. I know miscarriage is awful as well but at least your fertility isn't diminished. I just feel like less of a woman now.

[lola4lee]

Im so sorry for your loss.
I have no story of joy i'm afraid as have not experienced ectopic (or fallopian tube removal) myself.
But I do know a friend that went through something similar, after she had fallopian tube removed she went for acupunture to "widened" her existing tube and she did get pregnant again.
Wish u all the best for the future x

[BrianCoxHasScaryHair]

My friend is due in 5 weeks, this time last year she was recovering from an ectopic pregnancy.

She had been told similar to you, and had been worried about being able to conceive.

She has had a healthy pregnancy this time, but was naturally worried early stages. All is going well though.

So it can happen and hopefully it will happen for you.

[schobe]

I thought the 65% was within the next 18 months. Then some studies suggest it rises to around 85% over 2 years.

When I had mine, the stats definitely involved %s in the 80s. You've got a really excellent chance of it happening within 2 years I think.

We haven't been ttc since, so I don't have a positive story to tell you at present. However, when I had my ectopic LOADS of people came on with positive stories. I hope they drop in and see you on this thread.

Try and take it easy and give yourself time to process what's happened as it generally is such a rush and a shock. Also you need time to rest after the surgery - I hope you have people around you so you can.

[PandaNot]

I've had two children since having an ectopic first pregnancy. I was very, very nervous both times and didn't stop worrying til I held them but I completely understand your feelings. It was 4 years til I got pregnant again and it felt like it would never happen but it did. :)

[nextphase]

I'm sorry your suffering at the moment.
I had my left tube removed.
I'm sitting with my 2 post ectopic boys, both conceived within 2 months of starting ttc.
There is a wonderful set of resources, and chat boards of other ladies in a similar place to you here.
Look after yourself.

[sunshinealwaysfollowstherain]

Thanks for posting and thanks for the positive stories. I know of 2 people in RL who have had ectopics and both had one tube removed and both have had successful pregnancies since so am trying to focus on that.

My DH and parents are wonderful but all very practical and keep saying that at least I am ok. well, I am alive if that's what they mean but i don't feel ok.

[silverfrog]

I had an ectopic pregnancy back in 2002. it was my first pregnancy.

I had a tubal repair, which left me feelign a bit anxious, tbh, as surely now I have a higher chance of a repeat ectopic due to the scarring etc? (I too had no 'reason' for my ectopic, just 'one of those things')

I had dd1 in 2004, and dd2 in 2007, and am now pregnant with dc3, due in July.

I have had no fertility issues (dd1 conceived within 3 months of trying, same for dd2, dc3 was a happy accident! ), and no further pregnancy issues.

It is all so raw in those first weeks after an ectopic - take some time to look after yourself. The ectopic Pregnancy Trust boards were a lifesaver for me the first months after my surgery - have you seen them? (assuming they still exist!)

[sunshinealwaysfollowstherain]

hi silver - yes, I have found the EPT boards and reading through them as we speak. thank you

I suppose i just feel very alone now and i guess that is normal. It's only been a day.

TTC this pregnancy was 7 months (i know it's not that long but it seemed like forever) and although i desperately want another DC the thought of having to start on that journey again seems unbearable. I can't bear the thought of the disappointment again. I suppose I am thinking about it all too soon

[nextphase]

Your recovering from surgery and mourning your baby. Be kind on yourself.
I really struggled to talk to people in RL, but found more anonymous internet chat very therapeutic when I was feeling stronger.