I've never felt I have the right to be upset about this because I didn't know I was pregnant but now that I've got two little boys and friends keep talking about miscarriage i'm feeling the loss.
At the time I was depressed, smoked canabis and drank socially, used contraception and babies were the last thing on my mind. I experienced really bad stomach pains and was off work but my gp just said it was stress without even looking at me. I woke in the middle of the night in agony, went to the toilet and, well I don't know how to describe it but I knew it was more than just blood. I told my partner about the pain but he didn't really care, so I just went back to bed and told myself it was a heavy period.
I became quite ill and stayed off work in bed for about a week. I was very depressed and just smoked canabis for the pain and to block it all out really. I doubt i'll get any sympathy due to the canabis but I guess I just need to know whether I have the right to be sad really. I feel I can't miss something I never knew about but my body has remembered and i've always been uneasy around miscarriage. I know its my fault too but I wasn't expecting to get pregnant on the pill and certainly wasn't trying.
I have a group of friends who talk about their experiences with miscarriages but i don't feel i have the right too. I've never told anyone and tonight it has really hit me.
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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss
Early miscarriage 9 years ago, never dealt with it
4 replies
NHAN · 12/02/2012 23:11
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