My first baby would have been celebrating his/her first birthday this week

[ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged]

That's all really. I feel sad. I thought I was 'over' it, but I guess you never really are. I was only 6/7 weeks pregnant when I miscarried and I know so many people have experienced much, much worse, but right now I just feel crap. I don't know what to do with myself other than to hold LO (conceived five months after the miscarriage) close and have a little cry into his hair. Does it feel this bad every year or will this date gradually fade in my memory?

[HaveToWearHeels]

So sorry you are feeling sad. Having had an Ectopic in 2008, I can tell you I still remember my LO on due date and have a cry into DD's hair (DD conceived 8 days after Ectopic and born 2 months to the date after LO's due date). I hace also just suffered a miscarriage so now I have another date to remember :(
It will get easier I am sure, but you will never forget, nore should you.

[HaveToWearHeels]

have not hace

[GwendolineMaryLacey]

I was thinking the same sort of thing. I'm holding a very snuggly 4 day old dd2 and just thinking that next Saturday is the anniversary of 'that' scan. but then this little dd2, conceived 2 months after, wouldn't be here.

It's a bittersweet feeling.

[ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged]

Thank you ladies. It's reassuring to know I'm not the only one feeling like this (although I wish I was; I'm sorry you have to go through it too)

Heels - I'm so sorry you've miscarried again and I hope the worst of the pain passes soon. You're right, we'll never forget, I just keep hoping it'll get easier!

DP was away in Afghanistan when I miscarried and freely admits that as he was removed from the practicalities/raw emotions it doesn't effect him in the same way it effects me. I'd only just told him about the pregnancy when I had to tell him about the miscarriage so it never became real iyswim. He tries to be supportive, but doesn't really 'get' it.

If it's at all helpful Gwendoline, I've started a thread asking for advice about plants that flower at this time of year (my first foray into the gardening section of mumsnet!) as I'm hoping to do something to commemorate that first pregnancy. Not sure if you'd find that useful or not. I'm hoping I will.

Anyway, thank you both again

[HaveToWearHeels]

So sorry you feel alone, must be so hard having a loved one so far away and having to go through such an emotional event on your own. Try and take comfort from your little one, their innocence is just so wonderful. My DD never fails to make me smile.