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Just had my first miscarriage after 4 children, dh now says he doesn't want to try again. :-(

(5 Posts)
XboxWidow30 Fri 14-Oct-11 14:11:34

I miscarried at 9.5 weeks last week. It was traumatic, it happened on the Thurs morning, I went to A and E on the Fri and didn't get seen by EPU until this Monday. Then had to sit watching all the pg women going in for their scans and coming out smiling and looking at their scan photo's.

Anyway, hubby and I haven't spoken much about it. However the one thing he has said is that we aren't trying again. I am absolutely devastated, by the miscarriage and by his announcement. Will I ever feel better about this, at the moment we are hardly talking.

TipOfTheSlung Fri 14-Oct-11 14:13:28

I'm sorry.
Give him time. It was very recent and both of you need time to get your heads around it. Discuss it again in a bit

XboxWidow30 Fri 14-Oct-11 14:15:45

Others have said this to me too but I don't think he is going to change his mind. Don't know how we are going to get through this. It took a while to persuade him to have number 5, it happened so quickly too so we were both in shock from that and now I have miscarried he now doesn't want number 5. sad

circusclown Fri 14-Oct-11 15:18:23

We're in a similar situation. I had my first mc just over two weeks ago (two perfect pregnancies before that) and now my dh isn't too sure about trying again for a third child. He agreed to it before, but I fell pg almost immediately and I think he was in shock. Now I've lost it he's really not too keen, but has agreed to try again for my sake, as I really want a third child and ttc again is all I can think about night and day.
Have you tried sitting down with your dh and explaining to him just how important this is to you and now especially so? The way I explained it to my dh was that he would never regret having a third child, but I would always regret not having one.

Moominsarescary Fri 14-Oct-11 16:40:40

I'm sorry for your loss, my dp said the same last June when I miscarried at 8 weeks , I got pregnant with ds3 two months later , he is now 7 months but I've recently had a late loss at 20 weeks and dp again said never again

That was 4 weeks ago and he is now less adamant that we won't try again one day, your dh may change his mind

Agree with * circus* about sitting down with him and explaining how you feel

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