i joined iloveblues post in April after I lost my baby at 16 weeks. bubba's heart stopped beating and we were induced and had to have a dnc. we were fortunate enough to fall pregnant again in May this year. tragically when we went for a 16 week scan at the end of august exactly the same thing had happened. i don't know why and we are yet to get results from the autopsy and blood tests. heart broken does not describe how i feel. we are blessed with 2 beautiful girls but this simply doesnt take away the grief and sadness i feel for my lost bubbas. i was (fortunately) back in Scotland for my second induction and it was handled amazingly well in comparison to our first harrowing experience. i have my little baby girls little hand and foot prints and she has been buried in a beautiful cemetry for babies. i feel utterly lost and guilty. how could i not know that my precious babies had died? i am praying for answers from the tests but realise maybe no answers will come. i did have high thyroid antibodies previously but according to the blood tests taken at the time that we were in hospital that all my bloods (including antibody tests) were in the normal range. i was kind of hoping that answers would be given. i know on both occasions that the placenta wouldn't come away during delivery and both times i had to go into theatre to remove it. most recently the palcenta was in pieces when it came away. i don't know if this could mean that maybe this was where the problem lay. all i do know is that my babies were alive and well at 12 weeks. it was only out of the goodness of the sonographers heart that we got an additional scan at 16 weeks due to my anxiety from our previous loss. i won't go into details again but simply can't get my head around it all. i've been seen by a psychiatrist who tells me i'm suffering from acute grief but just want to start feeling like the person i was before my 2 losses. i wanted to start a new thread so please feel free to say hi. i still think about all the support so many people gave me when i joined the previous threads. x
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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss
coming to terms with my 2nd 2nd trimester miscarriage and waiting for answers
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desertmummy · 05/10/2011 12:37
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