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coming to terms with my 2nd 2nd trimester miscarriage and waiting for answers

(13 Posts)
desertmummy Wed 05-Oct-11 12:37:59

i joined iloveblues post in April after I lost my baby at 16 weeks. bubba's heart stopped beating and we were induced and had to have a dnc. we were fortunate enough to fall pregnant again in May this year. tragically when we went for a 16 week scan at the end of august exactly the same thing had happened. i don't know why and we are yet to get results from the autopsy and blood tests. heart broken does not describe how i feel. we are blessed with 2 beautiful girls but this simply doesnt take away the grief and sadness i feel for my lost bubbas. i was (fortunately) back in Scotland for my second induction and it was handled amazingly well in comparison to our first harrowing experience. i have my little baby girls little hand and foot prints and she has been buried in a beautiful cemetry for babies. i feel utterly lost and guilty. how could i not know that my precious babies had died? i am praying for answers from the tests but realise maybe no answers will come. i did have high thyroid antibodies previously but according to the blood tests taken at the time that we were in hospital that all my bloods (including antibody tests) were in the normal range. i was kind of hoping that answers would be given. i know on both occasions that the placenta wouldn't come away during delivery and both times i had to go into theatre to remove it. most recently the palcenta was in pieces when it came away. i don't know if this could mean that maybe this was where the problem lay. all i do know is that my babies were alive and well at 12 weeks. it was only out of the goodness of the sonographers heart that we got an additional scan at 16 weeks due to my anxiety from our previous loss. i won't go into details again but simply can't get my head around it all. i've been seen by a psychiatrist who tells me i'm suffering from acute grief but just want to start feeling like the person i was before my 2 losses. i wanted to start a new thread so please feel free to say hi. i still think about all the support so many people gave me when i joined the previous threads. x

pebspop Wed 05-Oct-11 13:42:44

bloody hell, can't believe that this would happen again.

i had a loss at 11 weeks and 20 weeks the nhs did tests and post mortem. The post mortem showed i had blood clots in the placenta. i am going to take asprin and herapin injections for my next pregnancy (when i feel brave enough!)

my placenta was stuck but i think it is very common at this gestation and not necessarily a sign that anything was wrong.

did you have tests after the first one?

desertmummy Wed 05-Oct-11 14:29:59

hi there, i'm so sorry for your losses... no tests after first loss as i was here in Dubai and unfortunately the whole procedure was just awful and they do not carry out any such tests. you wouldn't believe what we had to go thru simply to get the bubba delivered... so it was blood clots in the placenta that caused your loss? why would they occur? i think if i had some answers as you have pebspop then i'd feel more posititve about moving forward and trying again so to speak. at least you can feel you are doing everything to avoid further loss. when did you lose your babies? you sound so strong.x

avaj Wed 05-Oct-11 21:40:22

So sorry for your losses dessert.
I have had 3 mmc at 17 weeks, 12 weeks and 13 weeks. I am in Scotland and they would not do any tests untill I had had 3 losses.
Like yourself ,the test's that they did do all came back with normal ranges, which was hard to deal with. The consultant said that if I get pregnant again that I should have low dose asprin and heparin, despite the fact I tested negative for sticky blood. She said that the pattern of my mc's looks similar to someone with sticky blood.
The other thing that showed when they tested the baby was that the cord was very tightly coiled. She said that this could be a reason, and that they are now giving more detailed feedback on the cord and placenta.
I really hope that you start to move forward soon. It is such a dark time and the grief can feel overwhelming.
I found that naming my babies and spending time on each due date talking to them, crying and praying gave me a sense of peace, and I am slowly moving forward.
I hope you get some answers. x

Bluetinkerbell Wed 05-Oct-11 21:44:11

dear desertmummy so so sorry for the loss of your two beautiful babies! I hope the tests will give you some much wanted answers about why your lovely babies died.
I too lost a beautiful baby girl at 20 weeks back in June. We know from the post mortem she had a chromosomal disorder called triploidy which is incompatible with life. The chances of it happening again are extremely small, but still I would feel very anxious getting pregnant again.
Please don't feel guilty about what happened! big hugs!

iloveblue Wed 05-Oct-11 21:54:42

Desertmummy I remember you well.
I'm so sorry that you've had to go through this again.
You must be devastated.
I've had two more mc's since my late loss but they were both early thankfully, and we also still have no answers.

There must be something going on here - don't let them tell you its just bad luck. They need to find out whats going on - are you back in the UK for good now?

I can't imagine what you must be going through at the moment.
Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help.
xx

pebspop Thu 06-Oct-11 09:41:38

the blood clots occur when your blood is too thick, this can just happen in pregnancy or you can have a blood clotting condition throughout your life. it can be helped by taking asprin and blood thining injections.

i had my first mc in november and second in july. i am waiting a couple of month now before ttc again. my periods took 12 weeks to return after 2nd mc so i am waiting until i have a couple of cycles first. i have also been prescribed high dose folic acid which i should take for a couple of months before i get pg again.

i wouldn't worry too much about the retained placentas as i think it is very common at this gestation and not an indication of a particular problem.

hopefully you will get answers this time. are you having tests and post mortem? they told me that only half of people get a reason for this happening. i feel that i was lucky to get an answer and a solution to my problem. just hoping it works next time.

desertmummy Sun 09-Oct-11 11:08:20

hello everyone... iloveblue lovely to hear from you again.. i'm so sorry you've had 2 further miscarriages. no matter how 'far gone' we are a loss is still a loss, right. although as you know only too well the process with the later miscarriages is just such a unique experience. god bless those mums that have even later still losses. so what are your plans? how are you coping.. i have to admit i'm giving myself a little bit of a break. as my obgyn pointed out to me I have had 4 pregnancies in 4 years so my body needs a bit of a break. I am worried tho as just turned 37 so am not sure if i have time on my side as such. bluetinkerbell you poor thing losing your little girl. i'm sure you must find some strength in the fact that you got answers as to why your little angel didn't make it. i can fully fully understand your anxiety about getting pg again but as you say the likelihood of it happening to you again is oh so low. so best of luck to you..xxpebspop please can i ask about how much folic acid you've been advised to take? thank you for the info re only half people actually getting a reason. I am back in dubai again now. The doctors and midwifes are being so helpful with trying to gather all results from the tests done from my miscarriage in august back in aberdeen. the only tests which i think they couldn't do was for my placenta as it came out in lots of pieces. hopefully i'll here from the consultant soon. she has promised to email everything to me as soon as all results are back. i think we are still waiting for the chromosomal tests.. i gain strength from my beautiful family but still just can't help feeling so lost and sad about my little 'should have beens'. Thank you all for your kind words. I don't know what else to do but to try to rest and get strong emotionally and physically. i just so thought this last pregnancy was meant to be. My 16 weeks date matched exactly with the due date of my previous pregnancy (2nd September). I thought that was a sign that all would be ok.. Such a shock when the sonographer said those awful words..Life can be so cruel. I am trying not to doubt my faith but am finding it a little tough at the moment! Take care of you all and stay in touch. xxxx

desertmummy Sun 09-Oct-11 11:12:06

Avaj I've just reread your post. Gosh I'm so so sorry for your 3 losses. You sound incredibly strong. Where abouts in Scotland are you? I was up in Aberdeen. They had a special ward there for people like ourselves. I can't tell you how amazing the midwives were there. I'm glad your doc has decided to try some meds to help with your blood. may your next journey be a successful one. Keeping everything crossed for you. We decided not to name our bubbas. Instead named them our angel babies on the headstone. Stay strong. x

pink4ever Sun 09-Oct-11 14:07:57

desertmummy-I am so sorry for your sad losses. I have lost 6 babies myself-3 of them were at 24,28 and 19 weeks. I also had an abnormal pregnancy.

I was initially told that my first loss was due to weak cervix and had a stitch put in. But when I then lost the other 2 late on they did all the tests and I do have a blood clotting problem. I took aspirin in all my pregnancies and have since gone on to have 2 more dcs.

Retained placenta at that stage is very common and I would not use it as an indicator of a problem.

I hope you get some answers and that you have a happy outcome in the near future.

pebspop Sun 09-Oct-11 19:30:44

i have been given 500mg of folic acid. i am taking pregnancare as well which has 400micrograms of folic acid. not sure if i should have the extra in pregancare but i will take it anyway for the extra vitamins.

just started taking the 500mg tablets yesterday ready to ttc again in a couple of months EEEKKKK!

iloveblue Sun 09-Oct-11 21:32:48

Hi desertmummy

We've had investigations at our local RMC which all came back clear.
I'm not willing to accept the, 'it's just bad luck' line any longer so went to see my GP who has agreed to refer me to see a specialist in Coventry (Professor Quenby). Waiting to hear back - but in the meantime, I'm just enjoying not TTC and not being pregnant. I'm pretty confident we won't be trying again this year.
There is still a part of me that thinks that my body just wasn't ready to sustain a pregnany after the late loss, although GP said that was a myth.
We'll see what happens.

How are you doing at the moment?

desertmummy Mon 10-Oct-11 11:58:50

iloveblue thats fantastic you have been referred to see a specialist. hope you don't have to wait to long. good for you putting your foot down and not taking the 'bad luck' option... like yourself i'm going to seek more answers from a specialist here. i am still waiting for my results from the nhs from all the tests. i will have to pay for seeing a specialist here in dubai but feel it is worth it as am simply too scared to ttc again without knowing we've done all we can for a successful outcome. as you say it is nice just sitting back and relaxing a little about the whole bubba thing. i am finding it hard still. when i see any friends or strangers with a bump i have to remove myself from the situation and really struggle emotionally. i try not to wallow in self pity but just get such an overwhelming burst of grief. i feel so scared that i'll be told it is the quality of my eggs. my mum went thru early menopause and am so scared that could be my case although i believe the pregnancies would have ended earlier (if at all) if this was the case. anyway we shall see. forewarned is forearmed as they say. we are going to wait til the new year to think about going for more answers so for now i am back on the dreaded pill and gonna try to get strong...
much love xx
pebspop great you are giving yourself every chance to be fit and healthy in prep ttc in a couple of months. i wish you all the very best. x

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