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Just need a rant and don't know where to post.

(4 Posts)
CoffeeandNumbers Sun 04-Sep-11 22:18:46

This is my first post so please be gentle! Background ... Married 2 years, came off pill last Oct/Nov to egt into normal cycle before trying. Have since gone back on pill. Creeping on mumsnet for ages.

I don't have many people I can talk to about this in rl and I don't know where to start. I've been watching "4 months 3 weeks 2 days" (a really horrible film about a romanian girl having a backstreet abortion - grim, do not watch!) and I know watch this has brought up all these weird feelings.

Last Dec something happened (I say something because I don't know what, I suspect a miscarriage, but I just don't know) whilst in work, I had a very sudden, very heavy, and painfull period in work, it came on all of a sudden and I bled through my clothes, thank god the chair was leather! It was very unlike a normal period. I went to the toilet and sat there for about ten mins, the flow was very thick/heavy/dark with clots.
Apologies for the tmi.

I obviously went straight home to sort myself out and change. When my husband came home about half hour later, he found me upset and googling early miscarriage. I explained to him what had happened and I didn't know what it was and if i needed to see someone. It was my first period since coming off pill, but was so heavy and not like others I didn't know. Husband covinced me it was nothing. I am not the type to bother the GP, I will avoid at all costs, and I hate making a fuss. So I tried to forget about it, continued with horrible period for about 10 days. Its not been talked about since.

He txt me earlier to ask how things were, I told him the film had upset me, and that I was thinking about what had happened, and we would have had a baby by now. He txt back - you think too much, it was nothing, im sorry ur upset, love u. To which I havent replied and feel very angry about.

Am I right to be annoyed with him being so unsympathetic, or am I being overdramatic about what was probably just a horrible period?

I'm sorry for the long post I just needed to get it off my chest.


cheekyginger Mon 05-Sep-11 16:23:29

Hi coffee,

Its good to rant sometimes!!

Think it men dont understand that womans bodies and minds are complex. You might be being a teeny weeny bit overdramatic as his text isnt too bad, he's proably trying to play it down on purpose!!! But us woman do tend to think too much about these things.

Best just to look forward to the future and keep on trying.

sotough Mon 05-Sep-11 20:57:10

hi there, poor you. i think his text is sweet - please don't be angry with him. men don't really know how to react with these things and neither he nor you really knows what happened. miscarriage can really put a strain on marriage, but please don't let a might-have-been-a-miscarriage spoil your relationship.
If it was a miscarriage, it's very normal; the chances are that when you're ready to try again, your next pregnancy will be just fine.

Iggi999 Mon 05-Sep-11 22:45:50

Remember he wasn't with you watching the film that has triggered off these thoughts. So when you texted him, he'd have had a fair bit of catching up to do to understand how bad you are feeling! Maybe you could talk about what you're feeling with him at another time, or with a friend?

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